Wibu - poolside dispute

[HolidaySun1]

On holiday in a sunny country. Me and son were playing nicely in the pool. For info my 5 year old is autistic and hates water on his face but had been in the pool while it was quiet and done really well. It got busier so we came out and were on chairs near pool having an ice cream and drink.

Older kids (10 to 12ish) were in pool with massive super soakers. Lots of people relaxing by poolside looked annoyed as they were sumbathing. They were spraying each other and everyone else and got my son (not in pool) in the face. He was upset so we moved further back. While I was tending to him they got me and I have to say even being several foot from the pool it stung. I nicely said "keep the water in the pool kids" when they aimed and hit me and son in the face again. I asked them to stop shooting while we moved and they then hit my son again with the super soaker and it went directly in his eye and he became very distressed. I told my son we should go to the apartment because of the kids when a woman by me (assumedly the mum but I don't know this and didn't realise they were together) started shouting at me that they were just kids having fun, what did I expect by the pool, that I was rude about the kids.
I explained that they had repeatedly shot my son.
She screamed at me that I was being ridiculous, they are kids on holiday, stop being stupid. I was embarrassed, but replied, "once would be an accident, several times is deliberate and the kids should be told to stop and they are inconsiderate and rude".
She carried on shouting, I said I would not argue and shout in front of kids and took my son away. She shouted after that if she sees us again by the pool she'll push us both in and called me an uptight bitch.
Son was upset when we got back but is ok now but I feel very angry but also intimidated (and shakey and embarrassed) and worried about the rest of our holiday here. It's just me and my son, I know if I had other adults with me I would feel better but just us here in a foreign country...
Was I uptight? Should I have not said anything at all and just left? I thought the super soaker kids were out of order but perhaps it's normal and I'm over protective?

YANBU I'd have said something too! There's kids having fun then there's kids making a nuisance of themselves

What you said sounds fine to me.

It sounds like you asked them politely, not aggressively, and their parents should have already done so.

You were not being uptight! She should have controlled her kids better and not let them interfere with other holidaymakers enjoyment. Hope your son is OK.

Are there other pools u can use She sounds awful!!

The kids are in the wrong, and also clearly the mother, particularly for threatening to push you in the pool, which would be an assault (certainly in the UK!).

You do need to stand your ground though. You've paid to use the pool, it's your holiday and you and your son deserve to enjoy it. Was the woman drunk? Or just inherently rude? I'd give it one more chance at the poolside. Don't get drawn into shouting matches with her if she tries to start one, but say something to the manager.

Thank you. Pools are all in the same area, their are two next to each other. Son is ok but says he doesn't want to go back to pools. We can do.other stuff, but he was really gaining confidence with daily swims and it's fun, feel bullied out and upset.

Why the hell should their fun be at the cost of your distress? You can tell the apples didn't fall far from that particular tree of entitled selfishness!

YADNBU. The kids could have damaged your DS’s eye shooting in his face like that, is there a lifeguard you can speak to?

Don't think she was drunk, we had been there a while and so had she, didn't even realise she was with the kids til she started shouting.

She sounds awful! Well done to your son for doing so well in the pool

I think it might have been helpful for you if you’d have explained that your son is autistic and that he can’t cope with water on his face so you were merely trying to avoid him becoming distressed.

I witnessed a young woman having a go at a family who refused to move out of their train seats last week to allow her to sit forward facing at a table seat with a charger . Her behaviour was despicable and it was only when the mother calmly explained that they wouldn’t be moving because her son was autistic and was struggling to cope with the sensory overload as it was, without having to start looking for another table, moving suitcases and caring for him on a moving mode of transportation that she actually realised she was a complete twat and she backed off. The mother of the autistic child also had about half a dozen of us nearby ready to spring into action on her behalf as we could see how unreasonable the woman’s behaviour was.

I think you should tell the staff at reception what happened. The woman was aggressive and abusive and she directly threatened you and your child.

Son is ok but says he doesn't want to go back to pools. We can do.other stuff, but he was really gaining confidence with daily swims and it's fun, feel bullied out and upset.

Very understandable, but as an alternative approach, what about seeing it as an important lesson in standing up to bullies?

She would have been out of order expecting the family to move if their son wasn’t autistic

I'd speak to the staff - she was really out of order and it sounds like they were ruining it for everyone

If you want to avoid her maybe go early. Most kids that age get up later than a toddler. Then do other stuff afterwards.

It’s not right tho. Maybe talk to a manager if she continues to be abusive.

I did consider mentioning the autism but felt uncomfortable saying it to someone shouting at us and doubt it would have stopped her. Also, the water stung me, so it wasn't about the autism as noone would have enjoyed it!

You were not in the wrong
You need to speak to the hotel staff or holiday rep. It’s up to them to enforce basic decent behaviour in communal areas and ensure that all guests get to use the facilities

YANBU, she's a bully and she's obviously raising bullies.

You've been verbally abused and threatened by another guest. If it were me, particularly if I was travelling alone, I would go and speak to the hotel manager, or your rep if you have one, explain the situation and tell them that you feel intimidated and that you would like this woman warned that if this behaviour is repeated then she will have to leave the hotel. They have a duty of care to keep you safe. To have bratty kids doing this in the first place is one thing but I think her behaviour has taken this to another level. I'm sure I'll be told I'm overreacting but fuck it - you've paid for your holiday, why should you have this worry.

Speak to your rep or hotel reception. They shouldn't be allowed to bully you away like that

Definitely YANbU.

Speak to the hotel management. She threatened you and should be warned about the consequences of her behaviour. And told to bloody reel her kids in!

How awful. I hope this doesn’t spoil your holiday. I would definitely raise it with the hotel staff.

I know what you mean, I wouldn’t have thought the nasty bitch woman on the train would have been reasoned with but the moment the Mum calmly pointed at her son and said “my son is autistic. I am not putting him through anymore distress by moving him.” the woman looked horrified at herself, shut up with all of her shouting and moved away immediately.

Definitely complain ASAP. I hope she gets thrown out. What a shame you’ve had to experience this.

You shouldn’t have to tell her about your son’s autism. She was rude no matter what. I would complain to management that another guest was shouting at you. No one should have to put up with her behaviour.

Thank you, I'm normally quite assertive but was in chilled holiday mode so didn't know how to react and am aware I can be overprotective with ds.