Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu - poolside dispute

192 replies

HolidaySun1 · 07/06/2019 19:35

On holiday in a sunny country. Me and son were playing nicely in the pool. For info my 5 year old is autistic and hates water on his face but had been in the pool while it was quiet and done really well. It got busier so we came out and were on chairs near pool having an ice cream and drink.

Older kids (10 to 12ish) were in pool with massive super soakers. Lots of people relaxing by poolside looked annoyed as they were sumbathing. They were spraying each other and everyone else and got my son (not in pool) in the face. He was upset so we moved further back. While I was tending to him they got me and I have to say even being several foot from the pool it stung. I nicely said "keep the water in the pool kids" when they aimed and hit me and son in the face again. I asked them to stop shooting while we moved and they then hit my son again with the super soaker and it went directly in his eye and he became very distressed. I told my son we should go to the apartment because of the kids when a woman by me (assumedly the mum but I don't know this and didn't realise they were together) started shouting at me that they were just kids having fun, what did I expect by the pool, that I was rude about the kids.
I explained that they had repeatedly shot my son.
She screamed at me that I was being ridiculous, they are kids on holiday, stop being stupid. I was embarrassed, but replied, "once would be an accident, several times is deliberate and the kids should be told to stop and they are inconsiderate and rude".
She carried on shouting, I said I would not argue and shout in front of kids and took my son away. She shouted after that if she sees us again by the pool she'll push us both in and called me an uptight bitch.
Son was upset when we got back but is ok now but I feel very angry but also intimidated (and shakey and embarrassed) and worried about the rest of our holiday here. It's just me and my son, I know if I had other adults with me I would feel better but just us here in a foreign country...
Was I uptight? Should I have not said anything at all and just left? I thought the super soaker kids were out of order but perhaps it's normal and I'm over protective?

OP posts:
janetforpresident · 07/06/2019 19:57

I think it might have been helpful for you if you’d have explained that your son is autistic and that he can’t cope with water on his face so you were merely trying to avoid him becoming distressed

Why should she have to? If someone hit me with a super soaker I would not be happy and I am not an autistic child, yes his autism makes it more distressing for him but it's just common decency not to shoot people in the face with a super soaker regardless of who they are.

OP please complain about this to hotel management or a holiday rep. This woman has threatened and intimidated you and your five year old son. I am appalled.

Original poster
HolidaySun1 · 07/06/2019 19:59

Also she was surrounded by othr adults, and although they didn't say anything it felt intimidating just me and my son with all them.
I saved three years to take my son abroad, I don't want it spoilt.

OP posts:
HomeMadeMadness · 07/06/2019 20:00

Your son's autism is irrelevant if I was sunbathing by a pool I'd be seriously pissed off if I got shot in face deliberately by a bunch of bratty kids and I'm a middle aged NT woman. She was incredibly rude and I would complain about her to management.

Original poster
HolidaySun1 · 07/06/2019 20:02

I will speak to the pool bar guy, he works evenings and at the pool bar in the day and we have chatted a bit...

OP posts:
FiddlesticksAkimbo · 07/06/2019 20:04

I saved three years to take my son abroad, I don't want it spoilt.

What will make you and your son happiest at this point? Do that. Flowers

(I'd say it's worth another go by the pool, if necessary with complaint to staff. But if the stress of one more potential confrontation will outweigh the chance of more pool time, and there are other fun things to do then don't give the evil bitch and her spawn another thought.)

PerfectPenquins · 07/06/2019 20:04

Definitely speak to the staff, in Greece a couple of weeks ago a family came so close to being chucked out of the hotel for repeated poor behaviour at the pool, not really the kid's faults as clearly their parents couldn't be arsed to actually parent them. Staff do take it seriously because unhappy customers leave unhappy reviews.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 07/06/2019 20:16

Yadnbu, unfortunately often there is this mentally that children are entitled to do what ever they want, when they want and dare you disagree.

Chloemol · 07/06/2019 20:17

Next time just find some hotel staff and get them to deal with it

NauseousMum · 07/06/2019 20:19

Nasty bitch. You can see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

HundredMilesAnHour · 07/06/2019 20:21

This is awful OP. You didn't do anything wrong. What a nasty selfish woman.

Please speak to hotel management (not just the pool bar guy) and tell them what happened. That way if you have any more problems, they are already aware of the back story and will deal with it very quickly. The last thing they will want is a customer being scared to use the pool because other guests are threatening them.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 07/06/2019 20:21

Any reasonable parent would never let their kids behave like that in a pool.

OutInTheCountry · 07/06/2019 20:22

Maybe you should tell the rep/manager anyway, even if you don't want them to say anything to her at this point - that way if there were another incident you're already on record about the first and they could deal with it better?

CloudPop · 07/06/2019 20:23

I'd be mightily pissed off with being hit by a super soaker by a pool - this is in no way acceptable behaviour.

supersop60 · 07/06/2019 20:25

YANBU.
They can keep their super soakers to themselves.
The woman's reaction was pure guilt.

Frusty · 07/06/2019 20:26

Is there no lifeguard?

Miljah · 07/06/2019 20:27

Alert the life guard next time you go down there. Put in a complaint at the hotel reception or your rep. Tell them about the autism.

Some people have no idea how to behave.

Sadly, it's why we never go to Med (I assume) hotels; we, because we are lucky enough to afford it (just)- get a private villa with a pool. To avoid dealing with the sheer pig ignorance of so many Brits Abroad.

Oblomov19 · 07/06/2019 20:30

She sounds as awful as her kids!

InterestingShipNames · 07/06/2019 20:33

YANBU The odd splash from an over-excited jump or poorly aimed super soaker is to be expected by a pool with kids playing in it, but being directly targeted is not. I would be horrified if my kids did that, and would make them apologise and take away their super soakers.

But since the mum is obviously unreasonable, getting the hotel staff to deal with her would probably be the least stressful option.

Serin · 07/06/2019 20:34

She sounds absolutely awful. How upsetting for you both. I'd report to the hotel management then try to forget about her if you can and just get on with enjoying your holiday.

Jackiebrambles · 07/06/2019 20:37

Poor you, and your boy. She sounds like an absolute cow! Agree tell the hotel staff/lifeguard. They might be going home tomorrow??

MorondelaFrontera · 07/06/2019 20:39

Do complain to the staff!

Stupid and rude woman, no it's not normal or acceptable behaviour from the kids.

Catandchicken · 07/06/2019 20:40

Well done for getting out there!

My younger child is autistic and we were intimidated by a group of children at our local pool - culminating by one calling me a bitch at the top of a slide - next to a very young lifeguard. I went in and talked to management - they acknowledged this particular group of kids were really tricky and that the accompanying adults (not in the pool with them) would be taken aside and warned if there was another complaint, they would be told to leave.

It is so hard - hold onto the facts: you are and DS are amazing and deserve a fab holiday. You can't appeal to the adults with the kids, so turn to reception. Believe me, they have seen it all and really appreciate tourists who care and act as decent human beings.

I liked the idea of going at a different time to the unpleasant group - my DS would have labelled them the "bad family" . Hope the hotel management react well and you have a great end to your holiday.

maddiemookins16mum · 07/06/2019 20:42

Nowt to do with the holiday rep!

Frazzled2207 · 07/06/2019 20:43

She was bang out of order.
You shouldn't have to be intimidated on hols, def speak to the pool bar guy if you think he might be helpful. Failing that whoever is in charge.

SuzieQ10 · 07/06/2019 20:47

What a horrible cow. Some people have no respect for others. Who in their right mind allows their kids play with super soakers with lots of other people around who are getting splashed, accidentally let alone on purpose.
You were absolutely right for speaking out.
Don't give in to a bully like her. Carry on with your holiday. Don't interact with her if you see her around.