Wibu - poolside dispute

[HolidaySun1]

On holiday in a sunny country. Me and son were playing nicely in the pool. For info my 5 year old is autistic and hates water on his face but had been in the pool while it was quiet and done really well. It got busier so we came out and were on chairs near pool having an ice cream and drink.

Older kids (10 to 12ish) were in pool with massive super soakers. Lots of people relaxing by poolside looked annoyed as they were sumbathing. They were spraying each other and everyone else and got my son (not in pool) in the face. He was upset so we moved further back. While I was tending to him they got me and I have to say even being several foot from the pool it stung. I nicely said "keep the water in the pool kids" when they aimed and hit me and son in the face again. I asked them to stop shooting while we moved and they then hit my son again with the super soaker and it went directly in his eye and he became very distressed. I told my son we should go to the apartment because of the kids when a woman by me (assumedly the mum but I don't know this and didn't realise they were together) started shouting at me that they were just kids having fun, what did I expect by the pool, that I was rude about the kids.
I explained that they had repeatedly shot my son.
She screamed at me that I was being ridiculous, they are kids on holiday, stop being stupid. I was embarrassed, but replied, "once would be an accident, several times is deliberate and the kids should be told to stop and they are inconsiderate and rude".
She carried on shouting, I said I would not argue and shout in front of kids and took my son away. She shouted after that if she sees us again by the pool she'll push us both in and called me an uptight bitch.
Son was upset when we got back but is ok now but I feel very angry but also intimidated (and shakey and embarrassed) and worried about the rest of our holiday here. It's just me and my son, I know if I had other adults with me I would feel better but just us here in a foreign country...
Was I uptight? Should I have not said anything at all and just left? I thought the super soaker kids were out of order but perhaps it's normal and I'm over protective?

Well done op for reporting to management. What a nasty piece of work she sounds.
You sound like a wonderful caring mum, and are being a great role model to your ds, by not raising to it.
Enjoy your holiday, don't let it put you off. Great that the hotel management are taking it seriously.

Good for you op.
Its clear where her rude kids get it from!

Well done Holidaysun! Apart from anything else it's a really good example to your son of not capitulating to bullies. The whole family sounds fucking awful!

PS There's bound to be a flouncy tantrum when they see the signs, but ride it out in the knowledge that Mumsnet, the hotel staff, and all right-thinking people are on your side

I disagree I do not think your request was unreasonable for an NT child. Most people do not like being shot in the face with a super soaker and (absent the odd mishap) have the right not to have their holiday spoiled in this way. She is awful and sounds like her children are too. We have these on holiday and the kids are only allowed them in the ocean where there is more space and people aren’t disturbed.

Few years ago was at a resort with ds. Small pool. Fine.

Bunch of young men (about 9 of them) dominated the pool - baring loud music - stayed the entire day. Jumping in the pool and being very rowdy. Scared all the kids off. I spoke to the bar owner as there were notices everywhere re etiquette but his response was those men drank for 12 hours and bought loads of food so it was fine by him.

I know you've had plenty of comments, but just wanted to say that I disagree with anyone saying you should have mentioned your son's autism. It's not okay because he doesn't like it and they had no reason to think he would (and that's giving them the FULL benefit of the doubt that they weren't trying to upset him/you).. it doesn't matter that he doesn't like it because he's autistic. They were doing something they could reasonably assume he wouldn't like.

Anyone telling you you should have to tell people, inadvertently makes the point IMO that you're asking for special consideration or need allowances. I'm sure you spend enough time feeling that way; in this instance, it's totally irrelevant and you don't have to attribute any of the situation to your DSs autism. It was all the other family.

I hope it picks up, sounds like he's a lucky boy to have you!

You were definitely not being unreasonable and the woman sounds like a disgusting bully. Well done for speaking to management. You're doing all the right things. Hope you and your son have a lovely rest of the holiday xx

I haven't read any replies. I live in a sunny country with a communal pool, your son being autistic is absolutely irrelevant noone who isnt in the pool wants to be wet and my kids would not be allowed to do it, I would also tell off any other kids who did. To be honest a busy pool is no place for water guns at all.

Dont fuck about. Speak to rep. Rep will tell the mouthy beast whats what with your son. She will be reprimanded.

YANU at all!!

Frankly I think you handled the entire thing with dignity and handled it with far more restraint than I would have!

Rude ignorant kids that sound like they have a mother with the same attitude. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

Aargh, I'm so angry on your behalf. I hate bullies and I hate ignorant people that behave like that.

Do NOT let the stupid cow ruin one more minute of your holiday. Your son sounds lovely, just you guys keep to your routine and have fun. He will take his cues from you so try to act calm, relaxed and happy (I know it's hard when she has stressed you out, but fck her). If she starts anything again, just refuse to get involved. Just shake your head sadly like she's someone to be pitied - that will wind her up and also show your ds that you are in control xx

She sounds like a piece of work! YANBU. Her comment about pushing you in if she sees you near the pool again is classic bullying behaviour - what a sad case she is.

I hope you get to enjoy the rest of your holiday OP and don’t see her or her feral kids again.

What a horrible thing to happen to you and your son HolidaySun1. Some people are unbelievable.

You did the right thing report this to the hotel management. It is their responsibility to sort out this stupid behaviour.

I hope you and your son will be able to enjoy the rest of your holiday.

What a perfect example of bullies raising bullies!
Some parents are ridiculously entitled spoilt people, what a shame they ruined your day op.

Hopefully that will be the end of it.

These sorts of stories make me think of an old friend of mine who after having her first used to repeatedly say that people should need a "not an asshole" licence before being allowed to procreate

Oooh I'd love to see the rude cow's face when she sees the signs by the pool!

I agree it's not relevant that you need to explain your son has autism. I wear hearing aids so if someone shot me whilst I was innocently relaxing on my sunbed I'd be fuming too. But even if I didn't have my hearing aids in, it's not nice for anyone to have happen! Some parents these days and wonder why perhaps British have a bad name when abroad. Ruins it for everyone else who is polite and respectful.

Well done, OP for speaking up, and I hope the rest of your holiday is more peaceful.

The other gust & her children sound rather nasty, and certainly completely ill-mannered. Hold your head high, pretend that they do not exist - you've done nothing wrong.

All the best to you & your son, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your holiday.

She’s a dick and her kids will end up the same.

She must be related to the terribly yummy mummy who was encouraging her boisterous kids to pick up and stroke the terrified owls at the owl sanctuary we visited while on holiday. She got most annoyed when I pointed out to her that the sign specifically said that children should not touch the owls.

Some people think rules don’t apply to them. All the empathy of a walnut.

try and get your son back to water/pool as soon as possible.because this will/might turn into a bigger associated fear if he doesnt go today.then the fear and not wanting to go will get bigger tomorrow and added to.
make sure he knows that bullies dont get to ruin his holiday.nor water.becasue hes a strong little boy much stronger than any bullies.

Speak to hotel management. If there is a lifeguard they should be stopping that behaviour, and if there isn't they should be able to send a manager out to tell the kids to stop shooting water guns. I have a large family of boys (three stepsons and three sons) who are rambunctious and active and love water guns. They would NEVER behave that way, though, shooting the guns around other people, and would certainly apologise and move far away if they accidentally hit someone poolside. And even in the pool they have been taught not to splash younger children who may be frightened by water hitting their faces. These children do not need to ruin other people's fun in order to have theirs and their mum sounds absolutely awful. And a 5 year old does not have to be autistic to be afraid of having water squirted in his face. (My kids know that they are not allowed to shoot me, or even point, a water gun at me. I hate guns and they have learned to avoid playing near me on penalty of removal of gun. Same rule for strangers.) . Don't let them put you off the pool - ask the manager to come out and have a word with them if you go out again and they are there.

I hope you've had a nice day, OP. I've been thinking of you since I read this post last night.

It's just bullying, simple as. And because your DS is autistic, you are probably feeling especially vulnerable. That woman should be ashamed of herself and her children's behaviour.

If you look at any of those Nerf Super Soakers on the internet... there is always a warning saying do not aim at eyes or face and always use clean tap water.
They aimed at your son's eyes.. that must have really hurt and Iam so mad on your behalf that this has put your little son off swimming.
Absolutely agree with pps report this rotten lot to the hotel management. If those kids are annoying other guests and deliberately squirting high pressure guns in the eyes of smaller children - then the management should ban them from using the guns in the pool area full stop. I hope they help you out and that you and your little boy enjoy the rest of your holiday x

Sorry, computer was slow to reload the page and update and I see you have spoken to the rep , hope the rest of the hols is ok x

I am so sorry this happened .
You and your son deserve to enjoy your holiday. As she threatened you I would report her to the manager and tour rep if using .