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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu - poolside dispute

192 replies

HolidaySun1 · 07/06/2019 19:35

On holiday in a sunny country. Me and son were playing nicely in the pool. For info my 5 year old is autistic and hates water on his face but had been in the pool while it was quiet and done really well. It got busier so we came out and were on chairs near pool having an ice cream and drink.

Older kids (10 to 12ish) were in pool with massive super soakers. Lots of people relaxing by poolside looked annoyed as they were sumbathing. They were spraying each other and everyone else and got my son (not in pool) in the face. He was upset so we moved further back. While I was tending to him they got me and I have to say even being several foot from the pool it stung. I nicely said "keep the water in the pool kids" when they aimed and hit me and son in the face again. I asked them to stop shooting while we moved and they then hit my son again with the super soaker and it went directly in his eye and he became very distressed. I told my son we should go to the apartment because of the kids when a woman by me (assumedly the mum but I don't know this and didn't realise they were together) started shouting at me that they were just kids having fun, what did I expect by the pool, that I was rude about the kids.
I explained that they had repeatedly shot my son.
She screamed at me that I was being ridiculous, they are kids on holiday, stop being stupid. I was embarrassed, but replied, "once would be an accident, several times is deliberate and the kids should be told to stop and they are inconsiderate and rude".
She carried on shouting, I said I would not argue and shout in front of kids and took my son away. She shouted after that if she sees us again by the pool she'll push us both in and called me an uptight bitch.
Son was upset when we got back but is ok now but I feel very angry but also intimidated (and shakey and embarrassed) and worried about the rest of our holiday here. It's just me and my son, I know if I had other adults with me I would feel better but just us here in a foreign country...
Was I uptight? Should I have not said anything at all and just left? I thought the super soaker kids were out of order but perhaps it's normal and I'm over protective?

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 08/06/2019 19:32

Glad you felt supported - let's see if they act on it now. The parent sounds a hideous specimen of humanity.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 08/06/2019 19:37

Crikey that woman sounds a nightmare, fingers crossed the management really do give her a talking to.

My DC love the pool and on holidays we've had moments where I've had to remind them that there are others who don't want screaming and splashing, but as their parent it's my job to police them and I'd be mortified if mine behaved that way towards another adult and absolutely bollocking them. The fact that she didn't speaks volumes about her.

ChristmasFluff · 08/06/2019 19:41

Yeah, she was rude and horrible - and the thing is, she did it because you were too nice.

It''s why I now immediately speak up when things go wrong - so the first time they hit you/your son with the supersoaker, it would be 'hey, you just hit us with that - you need to be more careful.' It just says to people 'I'm not a pushover.'

As it was, the shitty mother noticed you left it to when your son was really distressed and you had to speak

This isn't meant to blame you in any way - I was exactly the same - I assumed that people would notice (as I would) that I was being accommodating and being inconvenienced. And these types do - but not in the way we would. They notice someone who will be intimidated by them.

Well done on standing up to the bully. It's a lesson learned, but it is horrible, I know. don't you be worried - just enjoy your holiday and ignore the bitch. I hope she gets hit in both eyes by their supersoaker. Flowers

dreygrey · 08/06/2019 19:46

I'd have got their super soakers and shoved them somewhere so YANBU.

Mammajay · 08/06/2019 19:47

Well done op. The hotel deserve excellent feedback and you deserve a mum medal!

youarenotkiddingme · 08/06/2019 19:50

Of course you were right.

Of course they were kids playing in the pool. But playing in pool doesn't involve shooting water at people sat away from pool on side.

If my ds did this I'd remove the water pistol pdq.

LittleSwede · 08/06/2019 19:51

So sorry to hear this has happened to you OP. It is good to hear that the hotel is taking it seriously. You do whatever you can to make the rest of your stay as lovely as possible. Both you and your DS deserve it. Once the manager has spoken to the woman the pool will be yours and with any luck this unpleasant woman and her brats of DCs will have soon be checked ut and back in the UK.

As a fellow parent of an ASD child I am also outraged that people can be so insensitive, unnecessarily aggressive, ignorant and rude. To intimidate and bully a single woman and her young DC (ASD or not) is just so very low.

Listen to all the lovely MNers, try to out this horrid woman out of your mind (easier said than done possibly) and enjoy the sun with your boy.

foreverhanging · 08/06/2019 19:52

She sounds like an absolute arsehole op!

youarenotkiddingme · 08/06/2019 19:58

Good on the manager.

I was a holiday rep for many a year and I would have taken you seriously and reported to hotel manager. He would have hailed them in his office and given them the law and told them adhere or you're out.

His English was amazing (had an English parent), his delivery terrifying and he was protective of vulnerable people.
I respected him so much.

IncrediblySadToo · 08/06/2019 19:58

Good result.

I’m glad you spoke to the staff & that they have been so supportive & done the right thing.

How was DS at the pool today?

I’m also really impressed that you’ve taken DS on your own & have been having such a great time. Lots of people wouldn’t have the confidence to do that (SN or not).

Edda09 · 08/06/2019 20:01

Could you report it to hotel staff? Threatening to push you both in is pretty OTT.

Kezzamo · 08/06/2019 20:02

Good work OP I'm sure she will have done this or similar to other guests too. Especially as the manager knows who you mean already. Things like this can really knock you for 6 if you already feel vulnerable, which I'm sure you do. You have behaved perfectly and are the better person. Hold you head high and enjoy the rest of your holiday ☺️

beautifullama · 08/06/2019 20:05

Fully support how you reacted, she sounds awful. Hopefully that will be the end of it. Try and enjoy the rest of your holiday in the knowledge that the hotel staff are behind you. It seems they are taking your complaint very seriously.

Babyduck2 · 08/06/2019 20:07

Yanbu. If she is one of the kids mum's then it's obvious where they get their shitty behaviour from.
I would definitely report to the hotel staff, I hope your son is ok now!

Serin · 08/06/2019 20:08

OP and its not just the hotel staff who are supporting you, its the whole of Mumsnet. Its not often all posters are so unanimous in their opinions.

Tistheseason17 · 08/06/2019 20:15

YANBU - hope tomorrow is good.

Fowles94 · 08/06/2019 20:16

Seen your reply, wasn't showing before. I'm glad they were helpful and this doesn't play on your sons mind.

ZebrasAreBras · 08/06/2019 20:21

Well done OP, glad you complained. Unfortunately, people with antisocial behaviour go on holiday too.

YADNBU - I wouldn't be at all happy being super-soaked at the poolside. Those kids are lucky someone equally as aggressive & shouty as their mother didn't confront them.

Hope the outcome is good for you, and definitely keep taking your ds to the pool (when they're not there!) Enjoy the rest of your holiday, and ignore the horrible woman, turn away, don't look at her at all if/when you see her again.

shushymcshush · 08/06/2019 20:21

Well done OP and well done hotel.

What Serin said

Hope you enjoy your hols and hopefully get some peace by the pool so that DS feels confident to try again.

Hollyhobbi · 08/06/2019 20:33

Your woman and her brats must be related to the 'lovely' family we were unfortunate to come across one summer. Two late teens boys and a younger girl and their father. All standing on lilos pretending to surf in a not very big crowded pool. And the pool rules specifically state no inflatables!! Thankfully they were only at the pool one day of our two weeks! Nobody else could swim with them and their dangerous stunts.

Lovelost01 · 08/06/2019 20:38

What a vile woman, you have to be careful where you choose to holiday, I find certain areas in spain have people like this crawling all over!

Durgasarrow · 08/06/2019 20:43

I guess the oooooooonly people in the world who were on holiday were this woman and her family.

omione · 08/06/2019 20:43

Speak to the tour rep or manager and explain that she threatened you

GoodBoyGhost · 08/06/2019 20:44

Not much to add OP, but as the mum of an autistic DS who would absolutely have hated being shot with water guns I am so upset for you.

Hopefully the awful family fuck off home very soon and leave you and your boy to enjoy the pool in peace. You did the right thing by complaining to staff and I would have done the same. Hold your heads high and a huge well done to your DS for gaining confidence in the water ❤️

Theimpossiblegirl · 08/06/2019 20:48

So glad the hotel has supported you with this. It only takes one anti-social group to ruin a holiday atmosphere. I would try to make friends with some other families, they will be aware of them too and you may feel better in a group.

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