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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu - poolside dispute

192 replies

HolidaySun1 · 07/06/2019 19:35

On holiday in a sunny country. Me and son were playing nicely in the pool. For info my 5 year old is autistic and hates water on his face but had been in the pool while it was quiet and done really well. It got busier so we came out and were on chairs near pool having an ice cream and drink.

Older kids (10 to 12ish) were in pool with massive super soakers. Lots of people relaxing by poolside looked annoyed as they were sumbathing. They were spraying each other and everyone else and got my son (not in pool) in the face. He was upset so we moved further back. While I was tending to him they got me and I have to say even being several foot from the pool it stung. I nicely said "keep the water in the pool kids" when they aimed and hit me and son in the face again. I asked them to stop shooting while we moved and they then hit my son again with the super soaker and it went directly in his eye and he became very distressed. I told my son we should go to the apartment because of the kids when a woman by me (assumedly the mum but I don't know this and didn't realise they were together) started shouting at me that they were just kids having fun, what did I expect by the pool, that I was rude about the kids.
I explained that they had repeatedly shot my son.
She screamed at me that I was being ridiculous, they are kids on holiday, stop being stupid. I was embarrassed, but replied, "once would be an accident, several times is deliberate and the kids should be told to stop and they are inconsiderate and rude".
She carried on shouting, I said I would not argue and shout in front of kids and took my son away. She shouted after that if she sees us again by the pool she'll push us both in and called me an uptight bitch.
Son was upset when we got back but is ok now but I feel very angry but also intimidated (and shakey and embarrassed) and worried about the rest of our holiday here. It's just me and my son, I know if I had other adults with me I would feel better but just us here in a foreign country...
Was I uptight? Should I have not said anything at all and just left? I thought the super soaker kids were out of order but perhaps it's normal and I'm over protective?

OP posts:
Ated · 08/06/2019 18:49

Remind them also that pool chemicals can be harmful and pressurised jets of water can be dangerous unless the pressure has been assessed before and considered safe at a given distance from the persons' eyes.

Ifyouknowyouknow · 08/06/2019 18:51

Definitely not being unreasonable, in fact those children are lucky because if it were my ASD child I’d be having to protect them from her wrath.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 08/06/2019 18:54

The resort must have guidelines on threatening and abusive behaviour towards other guests? I’d be making a full complaint and even threaten if the hotel do not do something you’ll sue them if this woman or her feral rat-kids assault you by either pushing you or aiming the water streams at you when you have politely asked them not to. State you son is protected by the Disability Act and you will make sure the resits governing body knows he is being discriminated against... Chuck all your rage at them! Really hate hate hate rude entitiled people who inflict their crap on others!!

Seaandsand83 · 08/06/2019 18:55

How did it go today OP?

Becathourus · 08/06/2019 18:57

What an awful woman. YANBU, bravo to you, I don't know how you didn't push her into the pool.

I'm sure the other holidayers respected and appreciated you telling those kids to pack it in.

Teateaandmoretea · 08/06/2019 18:58

I don't know how you didn't pushherinto the pool

Well quite, all in the name of fun

PoloMama · 08/06/2019 19:00

YA certainly NBU - she’s a chav. Her kids are unfortunately being brought up as chavs. You’re not going to be able to say anything to change them. Complain to staff there. Ask them to step in and sort them out. If others around the pool were looking annoyed too then ask them to substantiate your complaints. You should be able to use the pool in peace.

Ginger1982 · 08/06/2019 19:00

I actually think you were very restrained. I would probably have ended up decking her if she'd screamed at me like that!

ihadedto · 08/06/2019 19:01

God this makes me feel so depressed. That some nasty bullying bitch and her feral offspring, backed up by her posse, can potentially ruin the holiday of a single mum of ASD child who are just pootling about minding their own business.
And saving up for years to go, too. Angry

It really makes me sad at the state of the world that she can justify this on any level.
I hope you’ve enjoyed most of your holiday, OP. It sounds like you’ve been there a few days and got into a routine.
The pp giving you legal requirements to quote when speaking to staff seems useful?

Let us know how you get on?
Really hope it isn’t the lasting memory of your holiday. XFlowers

Hellokittymania · 08/06/2019 19:02

I'm glad you said something. Some people are just very entitled. This reminds me of a few months ago, when a mother started banging on her teenage sons hotel room door and shouting at 5 AM in the morning, not giving a care about anyone else who were sleeping. I called the reception and they sorted it out and threaten to call the police if she doesn't settle down. Next time, go to the hotel manager and say something. Or a staff member on duty.

hoxtonbabe · 08/06/2019 19:08

You are not being unreasonable, their behaviour was wrong full stop, It’s stupid selfish parents like that what put me off staying at hotels and prefer my own villa, or if I can’t do that then a resort that isn’t particularly child friendly but still allows children

lauramaisyday · 08/06/2019 19:09

If she pushes you in the pool it's technically assault let her do it then get her arrested then spend the rest of the holiday without her lol 😂
Or get some supper soakers yourself and shoot her and her kids back square in the face aim for technology and books and towels to lol I'm evil I'm sorry but I have an autistic child mines a little bit short tempered though and would have probly done something worse to the kids with me trying to hold him back telling the mum well your kids started it and I would of warned them not to start things as he'd finish it.

Original poster
HolidaySun1 · 08/06/2019 19:14

Hi all,
Thanks for the replies.

At breakfast this morning the lady and the kids were there and it was uncomfortable. They all kept looking over and sniggering and the mum kept rolling her eyes at me and looking at me and laughing
The son did actions of firing a gun/super soaker at me and my son but luckily DS didn't notice and was unaware of it all.

Afterwards I stopped by reception and said I just wanted to make a note that this lady had been abusive yesterday and was obviously not going to let it go. The reception lady got the manager and she said to come and get her when I go to the pool today and point out the lady and kids.

We stopped by the pool this afternoon with manager but the lady and her kids were not there. Manager said she thinks she knows who I mean but once I confirm it she will have a word. I noticed that there were laminated signs at the pool this afternoon though saying no water pistols so they have obviously taken me seriously and I feel supported.

Will let you know what happens if I see her tomorrow. We have a week left so I didn't really want to forego the pool for half the holiday.

OP posts:
FenellaMaxwell · 08/06/2019 19:15

We had a situation like this when we were on holiday - parents ignoring their child, who was pushing toddlers and smaller children over, then attacked the parent who asked their son not to. Hmm Hotel management got involved and asked them to leave the hotel in the end.

Teateaandmoretea · 08/06/2019 19:17

What a truly charming family they sound OP. To be clear and reinterate it is them not you.

Swishswish26 · 08/06/2019 19:18

So pleased to see this update OP. Then bullying you is completely unacceptable and you should not have to be putting up with being shot at by a water pistol. Hope Management puts them in their place then they can look suitably shamefaced.

Fowles94 · 08/06/2019 19:20

I would complain to hotel staff about her and her idiot children.

Susannach · 08/06/2019 19:20

YANBU and you were brave for standing up to them. Well done OP. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

ihadedto · 08/06/2019 19:21

I would love It if they were asked to leave. What a wake up call that would be.

Just think of what she’s sending out into the world. Kids who’s appalling behaviour is backed up by their dim ignorant mother. Pretending to shoot at you ffs Hmm.
Who was it that said ‘hell is other people’?
I mean why should you try to think of other situations or holidays where you won’t come across this sort of thing? Why isn’t the onus on them to bloody well behave?

Villas can be great but probably not suited to your situation - you might feel isolated. (Finances aside.)
Xx

ihadedto · 08/06/2019 19:22

WhoseBlush

TrickyD · 08/06/2019 19:22

Well done OP and thanks for letting us know what happened. Hope this gets properly sorted and you and your DS enjoy the rest of your well deserved and no doubt hard earned holiday.

Sheeply · 08/06/2019 19:23

About 5 years ago we were at a campsite in Norfolk which had a pool and exactly this happened. 3 days later one of the little shits was fully clothed near the pool and my 17 year old cousin shoved him in. Everyone in the pool area laughed and when he got out screaming and his mum had a tantrum everyone laughed at that too. Then the campsite manager came out and she shrieked at him and stamped and swore, and he laughed. It was brilliant. I know this doesn't help you now, but I hope it makes you smile.

Runbikeswim · 08/06/2019 19:24

I am a single parent with an ASD child and am considering going away - just him and I - and listening to their behavior towards you has made me 😡🙁
But you rock!! So glad the hotel are being supportive.

drowningincustard · 08/06/2019 19:25

Well done op! Glad to see your last update.
Have a great rest of the holiday...

Lexilooo · 08/06/2019 19:25

Please speak to your rep, they can help you speak to the manager and even speak to this woman. They might even be able to help in other ways I once spoke to a couple on holiday who had been moved to a different (better) hotel due to an incident with other guests where they had been threatened.