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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu - poolside dispute

192 replies

HolidaySun1 · 07/06/2019 19:35

On holiday in a sunny country. Me and son were playing nicely in the pool. For info my 5 year old is autistic and hates water on his face but had been in the pool while it was quiet and done really well. It got busier so we came out and were on chairs near pool having an ice cream and drink.

Older kids (10 to 12ish) were in pool with massive super soakers. Lots of people relaxing by poolside looked annoyed as they were sumbathing. They were spraying each other and everyone else and got my son (not in pool) in the face. He was upset so we moved further back. While I was tending to him they got me and I have to say even being several foot from the pool it stung. I nicely said "keep the water in the pool kids" when they aimed and hit me and son in the face again. I asked them to stop shooting while we moved and they then hit my son again with the super soaker and it went directly in his eye and he became very distressed. I told my son we should go to the apartment because of the kids when a woman by me (assumedly the mum but I don't know this and didn't realise they were together) started shouting at me that they were just kids having fun, what did I expect by the pool, that I was rude about the kids.
I explained that they had repeatedly shot my son.
She screamed at me that I was being ridiculous, they are kids on holiday, stop being stupid. I was embarrassed, but replied, "once would be an accident, several times is deliberate and the kids should be told to stop and they are inconsiderate and rude".
She carried on shouting, I said I would not argue and shout in front of kids and took my son away. She shouted after that if she sees us again by the pool she'll push us both in and called me an uptight bitch.
Son was upset when we got back but is ok now but I feel very angry but also intimidated (and shakey and embarrassed) and worried about the rest of our holiday here. It's just me and my son, I know if I had other adults with me I would feel better but just us here in a foreign country...
Was I uptight? Should I have not said anything at all and just left? I thought the super soaker kids were out of order but perhaps it's normal and I'm over protective?

OP posts:
MirriVan · 08/06/2019 01:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddiemookins16mum · 08/06/2019 08:36

Reps do not speak two languages fluently (unless they have lived/worked there for many years).
The rude woman may not even be a guest of the company the op is with and I can guarantee the rude woman will tell any rep who approaches her to naff off, even more so if she is travelling with another firm.

I say this as an ex rep/tour operator staff member of 30 years.

Frusty · 08/06/2019 09:50

Would the hotel prefer the inevitable negative review left on trip advisor? Some hotel have rules on, say, inflatables - only in the kids pool, that kind of thing, so it’s hardly unimaginable that they would enforce a no-soaking rule!
The women and her children will try this on the wrong person soon I would imagine.

SweetMarmalade · 08/06/2019 17:37

What an awful woman she sounds!

Her dc should have been told not to spray people poolside! You did the right thing telling them, just a pity their mother couldn’t have done the same.

Hold your head up high and completely ignore her. I’d also do as others suggested and speak to your rep (if you have one) or another member of staff. You’ve been left feeling pretty vulnerable.

I hope this doesn’t spoil the rest of your holiday.

Dieu · 08/06/2019 17:39

Och, you poor thing. Awful woman and her bratty, entitled kids. Hope you're ok Thanks

SweetMarmalade · 08/06/2019 17:39

Even if the rep or member of staff can’t do anything about rude woman’s behaviour, at least OP will feel that she has someone she can talk to. Maybe the rep can also tell OP how long the family is there for.

ForalltheSaints · 08/06/2019 17:40

YANBU to have challenged this behaviour, even if your 5 year old did not have autism.

Speak to staff.

Mythreefavouritethings · 08/06/2019 17:42

Given her attitude and language in front of the children, I don’t think mentioning the autism would have made a jot of difference. How horrid. Enjoy your holiday and ignore this awful woman. Sad for her children.

Dieu · 08/06/2019 17:43

And not that you should have to, of course, but there may be a neighbouring/sister hotel with a pool you can use. Ask the staff at your place.

Sodamncaughtinthemiddle · 08/06/2019 17:46

You did nothing wrong. I would let rep or manager know. She sounds a piece of work

KOKOtiltomorrow · 08/06/2019 17:47

Lamp her one and move on .....well you can’t do that obvs. But at least know you are in the right and she will reap what she sows with her feral kids eventually

user1471439310 · 08/06/2019 18:05

The poster who said the mom shouldn't speak with a member of the staff is right, the rude ignorant woman should have stopped her kids from acting like they were two. You can bet if someone did something to one of her darlings all hell would break lose.

SkintAsASkintThing · 08/06/2019 18:13

Well it's obvious where the kids got at least half of their attitude from. They sound feral.

manicmij · 08/06/2019 18:18

YANBU in expecting the kids to not fire at anyone out of the pool. As for the adult she was unbelievable. Why not explain to the management about the kids' behaviour and how they affected you and your son. Perhaps they should have an attendant walking about the area. Don't let the incident and the horrible people spoil your holiday, go back to the pool if your son will feel comfortable and show the cretins you have every right to enjoy your holiday safely.

Twillow · 08/06/2019 18:19

No way is squirting other guests appropriate. Were the kids squirting their own mother?? I doubt it.

Casiloco · 08/06/2019 18:21

Of course you should speak to the management - they are responsible for making sure that guests feel safe and comfortable in their accommodation.
Also, if others were looking irritated, you may be adding your voice to their complaints, which will be doubly effective!

Nonicknamesleft · 08/06/2019 18:23

Hope you've managed to sort this out. Their behaviour was appalling and it sounds as though you were amazingly calm. Please try and have a nice holiday despite shitty fellow guests. Full respect to you for doing it with your young son (and I speak as the parent of a child with autism so I have some idea of how difficult it can be to relax and enjoy, for both of you). Flowers

StoneofDestiny · 08/06/2019 18:23

Kids didn't fall far from the mother tree! Coarse parent = feral kids.
Of course you are not unreasonable - I read by the pool and would have been seriously annoyed if I'd been shot in the face by her kids!

Janus · 08/06/2019 18:28

I’d speak to the hotel reception or poolside guy and explain all in full and then ask them to tell anyone with water pistols it’s against hotel policy, tell them they threatened you so you don’t want to have to do it. I’d hope they’d step in. No way should you have to not go by the pool by this rude woman. It’s a shame no one agreed with you by the pool so she’d have stopped, I would have!

2beautifulbabs · 08/06/2019 18:35

Hi OP I hope you and your DS are having a better day today.
Yanbu what happened yesterday to you and your son was disgusting behaviour and I can just imagine the type of scummy woman she was shouting at you like that, yes kids do silly things but once they've been told it's not acceptable behaviour then they should stop or better still the parents should be telling their kids not to soak other people certainly not aiming at people's faces either shocking

I hope that you can both enjoy the rest of your holiday and maybe try and avoid that woman and kids or report them to hotel management for intimidating behaviour

Runbikeswim · 08/06/2019 18:40

Oh that sounds really awful and intimidating OP. Sorry that happened to you and your son. What arses. You are doing brilliantly being there with your son, and don't need that crap!!

Ated · 08/06/2019 18:43

Go to the management, tell them what happened and if they refuse to do anything, say that you wish to see their Risk Assessment for the protection of visitors to the pool and their policy on shooting water directly into peoples faces and are they adequately insured for damage to eyes and the stress presented to autistic children and adults.
18 Every pool operator is responsible for the health and safety of
employees, pool users and other people on the premises. The HSW
Act, the Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations and
others place general obligations on pool operators. The following are
the key pieces of legislation that all pool operators should be aware of.
19 Appendix 1 includes a list of other legislation, which while not
exhaustive, highlights pieces of legislation that may apply depending on the nature of your business.
Health and safety in swimming pools
Managing health and safety in swimming pools HSG179
Date of publication: 2018
Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations
22 As a pool operator, under the Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations (MHSWR), you must carry out an assessment of the risks which may affect employees, and others, as a result of the work activity. These requirements also take into account members of the public using the pools. You must then take appropriate action to eliminate or reduce those risks as far as is reasonably practicable.
.Health and Safety at Work Act
Risk assessment
25 This section deals with managing risks specific to swimming pools.
Risk assessment is central to the effective management of health and safety. It is the duty of pool operators to ensure risks are adequately identified, assessed and controlled to prevent harm to employees and those affected by the work activity. See www.hse.gov.uk/risk for more general information about risk.
Ask those few questions and watch them jump and run to sort it out. Tell them that your son was distressed by the actions of the children and the threats from the mother. They should throw her out as a RISK to you and others. Ask them to check with the HSE if they want clarification.

minionsrule · 08/06/2019 18:45

I'd have been tempted to say 'ah ok you're one of THOSE parents are you, explains a lot' and walked off before she could respond.
Stupid woman (her not you obv)

Teateaandmoretea · 08/06/2019 18:46

I think it might have been helpful for you if you’d have explained that your son is autistic and that he can’t cope with water on his face so you were merely trying to avoid him becoming distressed.

HmmConfused
So its okay for kids to aim waterguns at people who aren't autistic because it's good fun?

Yanbu op, the parents sound awful.

Teateaandmoretea · 08/06/2019 18:47

I read by the pool and would have been seriously annoyed if I'd been shot in the face by her kids!

And anyone normal would be horrified if their dc did this surely.....