To think we should consider a 2 bedroom rather than 3 bedroom?

[username718736]

So briefly-
DP has 2 children from previous marriage. I have 1. I'm due with our first in a few months.
I'd love a 3 bed which would be ideal but our finances are always tight, we'll have a newborn to consider financially as well and ideally want to save for a mortgage.
I feel like we need to open options to a 2 bed as I feel like the only one who requires a bedroom is my 1DC as they live there permanently. His stay 1 night a week, come for tea another night and the newborn won't need its own.
I completely understand it's ideal to have a 3 bed and understand emotionally why it'd be easier for his DC to have a room but if it makes things easier in the long run? AIBU?

So where will DP’s children sleep then?

Where would they sleep the one night a week they are here? Would they be in the living room? Your child's room? Can you make that work? I can see it makes sense to save money for a mortgage. However I can also see that your DP wants his children to feel like they have a home. I think the key to making it work is to work out the logistics for when his children stay so they still feel at home.

no, his children need a room for when they are staying with their dad. The state of your finances are nothing to do with his children (why are you having another child if your finances are so tight?).

Won’t baby also need somewhere to sleep down the line?

How does pushing two of your children out make things easier?

WhAts the living arrangement now?

What are the ages of the children?

If you're pregnant now and already have 1 DC, surely that'll be 2 kids there permanently? So 4 when your DP's kids stay over.

And what happens when the DC on its way grows up? They can't stay in your room. You need a 3 bed. One for each of the children and they will have to share when there are 4.

A large 2 bed would be fine as long as you have arrangements for when the 2 DC stay over you could fit bunk beds in my DD room easily so double on the bottom for DC to stay once a week and your DC can stay on top ? Plus if its a double room you could fit a cot in if you also needed to.

If you can have a pull out bed or something in the bedroom for the one night his children stay so they feel welcome then it could easily work.

6 people in a two bed? Why? What happens when baby needs a room, where do his kids sleep?

2 bedrooms is not enough! Where will his children sleep? And your newborn will only be a newborn for a few months. If you're looking ahead I'm sure your baby will needs it's own room before too long.

Honestly, you need 3 beds. You can't expect his 2 children to sleep in some random space even if they are only there for 1 night a week! That's telling them that they're not as important than any of th other children.

I think it would be very difficult, the baby won't stay small forever so in a few years you will have 4 sharing a room. (Part time, but will still need 4 beds). What age and sex are the children? Would also seem unfair to have teens in with toddlers for example.

YABU

Your DSC need their own room. If finances are so tight, why have another child? 🤨

I think if finances only allow for a 2 bed then you will have to go for a 2 bed but you will need 2 sets of bunk beds in it. One for your children and one for your DH's. They will need a permanent bed to sleep on. They can't camp in the living room or on the floor of your DC's room. It would need to be a big room. It will be crowded.

As the OP talks about saving for a mortgage then I'm assuming this is a rental property, and there it necessarily long term.

I think people need to remember there are children living in poverty that share a room with 4/5/6 siblings, they don't NEED anything, as long as they have a bed to sleep on and made to feel at home that is all that matters, baby can share with you for a year or 2 and I'm guessing by then you will either have saved enough for a deposit or moved to a bigger rental.

How old are his other children are they the same gender?

The state of your finances are nothing to do with his children (why are you having another child if your finances are so tight?).

Maybe finances are tight BECAUSE there’s another child on the way?

I'd regret 2 beds especially as the DC get older.

Depends on the ages and sexes of the children.

But if they are all the same sex, young enough and you've got 2 large doubles I don't see the issue.

Sounds like it's only for a year or so until you've saved a deposit. So you could fit a cot in your room and then have 3 beds in the other room, possibly 1 bunk bed or one of those day beds that has another bed hidden under it.

There are plenty of 3-4 child households in 2 beds, it's not ideal but people get by.

Think you are mad, your new baby won't stay a baby for ever are you going to keep him or her sleeping in your room as they hit 2, or expect to have mortgage deposit saved in only a couple of years. I f its really short term it might work but depending on ages of your step children, the rest of space will have to accommodate them or you will have to sleep one night a week in lounge so yur looking for a two bed with a big lounge or they can have your room, unless you found some accommodation with a room that you could put a divider up you will just find yourself in under 2 years in a place that's too small.

His DC need somewhere to sleep, and as they all get older you will need somewhere bigger eventually. Can you look for a 3 bed that needs some cosmetic work, and is a bit cheaper?

YABVU.

our finances are always tight and ideally want to save for a mortgage do not imply that a deposit will be saved in a year so not sure how you got that.
In these circumstances I’m genuinely wondering why it seemed a good idea to add a 4th child to the mix, yes, some people do live in over crowded homes but a family of 6 in a two bed is not ideal by a long shot. If it is for very short term then I could possibly work but long term? Where do you live at the moment? And how many bedrooms have you got? Or do you not even live together yet?