To think we should consider a 2 bedroom rather than 3 bedroom?

[username718736]

So briefly-
DP has 2 children from previous marriage. I have 1. I'm due with our first in a few months.
I'd love a 3 bed which would be ideal but our finances are always tight, we'll have a newborn to consider financially as well and ideally want to save for a mortgage.
I feel like we need to open options to a 2 bed as I feel like the only one who requires a bedroom is my 1DC as they live there permanently. His stay 1 night a week, come for tea another night and the newborn won't need its own.
I completely understand it's ideal to have a 3 bed and understand emotionally why it'd be easier for his DC to have a room but if it makes things easier in the long run? AIBU?

If they are all same sex and under 7 you might get away with it for a short time
Which is why everyone was asking for details as they are important
It’s a lot of stuff to have in a small house for 6 so good luck with that and the noise!

If all the DCs are the same sex and under 7 I don't think it's such a problem. I would make sure though that your DPs child has its own bed, drawer, space in the wardrobe, shelf in the bookcase etc.

2 bed if fine. Your joint DC will be sharing just as DP’s children are. No one needs their own room for one night a week.

Two years to save for a house will be perfect, Your then todler will be able to have their own room and first bed.

If money is tight how are you intending to save a deposit for a four bed house within eighteen months?

My ex had those small bunk beds from IKEA they take up less room but then he got them the bed where one pulls out under the other and they had to tread all on each other to get in and out of the room

Also when he had a new baby he gave me ALL their toys to ‘make room’ so they had hardly anything at his house
Do not do that

It’s only on Mumsnet that there seems to be so many contraceptive failures hmm

Exactly, Ragwort. Can't believe the blatant disregard for 2 children because they are 'first family', therefore an afterthought. How irresponsible! 'Gees, finances are tight with 3 kids in the relationship, I have to do my best for them all. But you know, fuck it, I'll just bring another kid into the mix and the ones who are already here will just have to deal.' What shitty parenting.

Two bed can work if the rooms are of a certain size. I rent a one bed flat but the size of my bedroom could easily fit three double beds or two king sized.

Always go for the 3 bedroom, it means you won’t need to move house due to over crowding in a few years which is a big upheaval and the house prices will continue to rocket. Your newborn will need a bedroom eventually, especially if they are different sexes. Your step children should ideally have a room for that one night just so feel like it’s their other home and not a sleepover at a friends, but of course that’s a personal choice. You may be able to find reasonable 2 bed houses with a dining room you could use as a room with a fold out bed for step children, but where I live 3 beds are usually much cheaper than 2 beds.

Op ignore the miserable people commenting. I think you are sensible to consider long term finances. Also there are loads of 2 beds with big gardens (garden room for sleeping in summer), lofts which are or can be converted, or you could have a sofa bed in the living room for you when DPs kids stay. I do agree that it is important symbolically for your step children to have their own space though, rather than a bed on the floor of someone else’s room, however that is best achieved.

@dancemat so do I

@DaisiesAreOurSilver

Ignore those who think children from the first family are so much more important than children from the second. They aren't, especially when they don't live there. Just plain idiocy from some posters.*

What a fucking awful thing to say. No one is saying they are more important. Just equally as important

Where will they sleep though 3 beds in one room and baby in with you? I’d do it for 18 mos /2 years to be honest. While they’re still young and same sex be a squeeze but be ok I think.

A lot of pearl clutching here.

2 beds for the short term with young children, in order to save for a bigger place, isn't a disaster.

You just need a plan for where the children will sleep when they visit. Can you put a single and bunk beds in the second bedroom, or give them your room when they visit (and sleep on a sofa bed?). Or set up a sofa bed for them?

With that combination 2 bed is fine as long as 3 can fit in the second bedroom and you live in an area where you can easily go out and do things. (I'm assuming that the baby is sleep with you until the deposit is saved)

I have teens so the "own space" issue is important for family harmony. When they were 7, they loved sneaking to each other's rooms and having sleepovers (they are different sexes too)

People used to share living space. We are totally and utterly spoilt nowadays and NOT for the better. It is doable.

I think you need at least a 3 bed. Baby won't be a baby forever and you might not be able to move again in a year. Your step kids also need a room.
How would you feel if your DC didn't have a room in their dads house?

So what happens when the baby is 6 months old and needs it’s own bedroom?

My gran lived in a room and kitchen ffs! I have a 3 bedroom house. I have had extra people in this house [family] to cater for my ds wife and his baby. Honestly. As long as there is floor space...

@strawberrypenguin my DC doesn't. Shares with his dad!

I mean I have had 8 people in my house! To stay!

Haven't people heard of short term pain for long term gain? The ops long term plan is very feasible if they've worked their finances out correctly.

Three kids together one night a week? It'll be like a sleepover once a week if they get on reasonably well. Probably more fun than separate rooms. If the op gets a three bed then she'll probably find her dd wants to join in the fun and will join in with the other two anyway.

totally agree Qween :)

Heronwatcher
But then where do stepchildren have their space if OP shifts to the living room and step children use OP's room that's not their space either.
If it was 6months to a year and they were close to the deposit amount then I'd say suck it up and explain to the children what the goal is. More than a year is too long in my opinion, especially when OP is on maternity leave for some of that time and finances are already tight.

She's right to consider long term finances, but choosing to have another child has it's own costs and impact and one of those things might be taking longer to save a deposit due to the need to reasonably house existing children.

What does your partner think about having no space for his children? Does he not have them for longer in the holidays?