To think we should consider a 2 bedroom rather than 3 bedroom?

[username718736]

So briefly-
DP has 2 children from previous marriage. I have 1. I'm due with our first in a few months.
I'd love a 3 bed which would be ideal but our finances are always tight, we'll have a newborn to consider financially as well and ideally want to save for a mortgage.
I feel like we need to open options to a 2 bed as I feel like the only one who requires a bedroom is my 1DC as they live there permanently. His stay 1 night a week, come for tea another night and the newborn won't need its own.
I completely understand it's ideal to have a 3 bed and understand emotionally why it'd be easier for his DC to have a room but if it makes things easier in the long run? AIBU?

It won't be long before the baby needs it's own room. What will you do then? Expect four children to share one room? (And I know sometimes this has to be the case, and people manage, but still...)

What age and gender are the children? If there are boys and girls you can't expect them to share as they get older. Whilst there are no laws regarding this, the NSPCC recommend that due to modesty issues, children of different sexes shouldn't share rooms over the age of ten... And this may be even more important for step-siblings, dependent on the closeness of their relationship with each other.

Also, if you only have two rooms, the chances are your DP's children may feel unwanted if they don't have a space to call their own.

What are your current arrangements?

How old are the children? If they're quite young I'd put a small single bed and a small set of bunks in one room. Get a cot bed for your room for the baby to sleep in for the first year at least. You and your partner could sleep on a bed settee in the lounge when the baby is older.
You do need 2 double bedrooms to make this work, and some decent storage for all their clothes and things. It depends on how badly you want to save for the deposit, how much more expensive a 3 bed is, how old and what sex are the kids, etc etc, but it could work out for a couple of years.

If it's a rental rather than buying, and you're doing it as a short term solution to be able to afford a bigger place in the long term then I think it sounds sensible enough. How old are all the kids involved? Could you time it so that the second bedroom is for your DC when they are with you, and that your DSC take that room one night a week while your DC is with their dad? That way it's a shared bedroom and as long as the baby can be in with you for the first year (which is what the NHS suggest) then you'll save a load of money. It's a compromise but that's life.

People asking why you're having another child if money is tight are asking a pointless question. You are, that's the situation as it stands, so that's what you're working with.

You really need a three bed, it just won't work with two.

You will regret the decision if in a few years time you are all feeling on top of each other and cannot get a mortgage for a bigger house.

In that case they can stop renting the 2-bed and rent a 3-bed when the mortgage thing doesn't appear to be working out.

Are people not grasping that the OP is not talking about BUYING a 2-bed?

Are they all the same sex op? If they are it could work, although I'm not sure about long term.

I find young kids don't spend much time in their rooms. My dp pays a small fortune for a 2 bed so his son has his own room. When his son stays every other weekend he always plays with toys in the lounge or garden and never goes in his room. It always seems so expensive to pay so much extra for a room that his son only uses to sleep in 4 times a month.

OP, you really should have mentioned you are talking about renting otherwise of course people will start envisioning 4 tweens and teens sharing 1 room in 10 years.

It depends how long - if this will allow you to save for a deposit on a 3 to 4 bed more quickly, so be it.

I completely understand it's ideal to have a 3 bed and understand emotionally why it'd be easier for his DC to have a room but if it makes things easier in the long run? AIBU?

YANBU imo. But where will your newborn sleep when older?

Another example of people having children that they can't afford. Seriously - children cost money. They are not accessories.

So 1 night a week you’d have 3 and eventually 4 DC all sleeping in one room? It could work. We can sleep 4 in one bedroom with bunks for weekends and sleepovers but it is a massive room so they are not too crowded.

That being said they are bound to be sibling rivalries and friction when the new baby arrives and his DC might feel more wanted and valued if they have their own space.

The OP’s stepchildren stay one night a week. This isn’t their home. They have a home. I would do the two bedrooms with a view to saving a deposit. Even if it’s for two years. Why would you pay rent on a room that will only be used 52 nights of the year?

How old are the older kids?

Could you put three single beds in the second room and is that viable given ages and sex?

What happens in a year when baby needs their own room?

itsgoodtobehome the OP didn't mention not being able to afford their children. Presumably they have sufficient clothes, food, heating, etc, and everything they need.

@Meccacos be ause for 52 days two children need somewhere to sleep. And because 52 could easily become 104 or 365. You never know what will happen. And even a NR parent should accommodate the needs of their children

I think you need a 4 bedroom

everything they need except a bed

@Meccacos It’s their part time home, one day a week still equates to 52 days a year. If I asked you to share a bedroom with three other people once a week would you be up for that? I know I wouldn’t be.

They deserve their own space. I’m not saying the OP should buy a five bedroom home but a three bedroom in the very least.

@username718736 where do you live now?

They deserve their own space. I’m not saying the OP should buy a five bedroom home but a three bedroom in the very least.

But sometimes there isn't space. As a child we shared 4 to a room at one point - it wasn't ideal, but we were fed, clothed, and had somewhere to sleep.

My own family have rented everything from studios, to 4 bed houses - kids sometimes have had their own rooms, sometimes shared rooms, in more than one place shared a bed (temporary accommodation), we've been fine in each - sleeping arrangements were really the easiest bit!

The problem we've found with the smaller numbers of beds, is the corresponding lack of extra rooms, so there's no-where to get away from each other. If it's only for a couple of years, I don't think YABU. But I do think you'll be very grateful to get somewhere bigger when it's possible.

I think you need a plan for the children to deffo all sleep in a bedroom, not the living room. You could for example get a double bunk bed with a single bunk bed above yours for your dd to sleep in when the children are there or have all 3 in your dds bedroom. Or one of you decamp to the living room for the night etc - whatever works.

To throw a spanner in my ex had another child when our DC were 11 and 13 and they all had to share a little room with a baby

DD2 will not visit and partly it is the horrendous experience (apparently to her) of the experience of having your own room at mums then sharing a room with 2 others who are very noisy and messy while you are coming in to your teen years. No one got much sleep, there was no space and she hated it. House was small so baby crying all night woke everyone up.

Mine shared a room out of choice until they were 9 and 11 or so (same sex) when they began to argue all the time

Personally I would find it hard with lack of space

Probably unpopular opinion but children need 1 primary residence only and sometimes may have to put up with sleeping in a front room / sharing with step siblings
It’s isnt going to damage them not having their own special
Room that sits empty majority of the time

Also sharing a bedroom with your full siblings you knew since birth is very different to a step sibling or a half you only see once or twice a week. DC ages do matter too

What are the genders of all the kids?
His poor kids will completely feel like second class citizens if they have nowhere of their own in their dad's home. And your child will probably resent having to share.
If you buy a 2 bed now, you'll need a 3 bed at least before too long. I would go for the 3 bed now.

They have a home. If they are made to feel welcome then sharing a room with your dc for a year or two would be fine. If it's only for one night a week then they could even have your room and you sleep on a sofa bed for the night.