AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

[NotMyUsualNameNoSiree]

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

Dorsetdays

No, no, no. Nobody ever said it was never okay to physically leave your property and stand outside (10 feet). That is a ludicrous question. How far did you actually go?

Mrmakers. That’s part of life...learning to communicate with other people. Please don’t judge posters based on that, especially in a post where you’re calling someone out for being a “mean girl”

Mean Girls is a film, I'm not calling her a mean girl. A film about a bitchy bunch of silly girls.

And I am simply saying it's not really possible to have a proper conversation about a complex issue with someone like green who misquotes, makes up facts and figures and swears a lot.

You haven’t answered my question about if teachers or nursery staff know you leave or have left a baby at home alone?

Doubtful. Immediate referral to SS.

Mrmakers. So why did you have to ask if the poster works? What has that got to do with anything. You may not have meant it too but it came across as somewhat patronising. Sometimes we all mis-communicate.

Hercule. Again if you’d read my posts you’d know that they did know, we live in a small village with a community school. The teachers are part of the same social group and knew full well that on one, possibly two occasions I’d left my child at home.

No big deal. Because again as you’d know if you’d read my posts that school is right next door to my house.

Still trying to avoid answering which of the two scenarios is the most risky.

You haven’t answered my question about if teachers or nursery staff know you leave or have left a baby at home alone?

Why would they know about your home life, so do you tell them what you're having for tea, the colour of your underwear, how many steps you're away from the baby.

It's completely irrelevant and the only time to involve teachers or nursery is if you're concerned about how you're coping with your child and want sone support. If you're over anxious, over tired due to sleep issues, they are feeding well.

Dorsetdays

You have said - at different points on the thread - that it was less then 10 steps, 10 yards and 50 yards. I’m not answering a single thing until you clarify which of those it actually was.

Dorsetdays

But actually it’s been answered already, hasn’t it? 10 feet outside your house isn’t leaving your property unattended. It’s standing on the pavement outside your house.

Hercule. Are you trying to justify your user name? 😂😂😂

We’ve been talking about generic situations on this thread. I’ve now asked a specific question about my personal situation so I think it’s quite clear. However, it doesn’t actually matter because the question I’ve asked gives you enough information to make an assessment of which situation is most risky and to explain why.

Dorsetdays

It’s not clear at all. You have been misleading and disingenuous. I have answered your question. 10 feet outside your house isn’t “leaving”, so it is completely irrelevant to this discussion. Try again.

And I think it’s perfectly clear by now that the reason my question has been so desperately avoided is because there is no logical response.

It doesn’t matter which is which. There’s no logical way you can explain that being closer to home in exactly the same circumstances (baby asleep, no monitor etc) is more risky than being further away.

Dorsetdays

There is. You’re just not comprehending what people have been saying to you.

You’ve clearly stated over and over that there are NO circumstances where leaving your baby alone is acceptable.

That’s it’s bad parenting and it’s neglectful.

Just showing you that nothing is as black and white as your statement and therefore you shouldn’t rush to judge others when you don’t know the full facts.

@Dorset “which is less risky”

I don’t want to gamble and consider the odds of what might happen or might not happen without considering the consequences too.

So it’s a no brainer to me that the risk of potential consequences of taking the risk of leaving one of my babies at home on their own is too great.

So I don’t.

Dorsetdays

10 feet outside my house isn’t leaving my baby unattended. I am able to respond should someone try to enter my property. I am able to respond should my smoke alarm go off. I haven’t left.

You are desperately trying to make what you did sound normal and it isn’t.

How far was it?

Gin. So assuming my baby is alone in both scenarios, would you report either to
SS? Because hercule would as previously stated.

Because hercule would as previously stated.

Erm, nope. Because neither person has left their baby unattended. Like I keep saying.

So say for example you were further away in your garden than 10 feet you might not be able to respond to an incident quite so quickly?

So I’m assuming, as you still won’t answer the question, that you’re saying the first scenario is less risky?

It is neglect.

I know the chances of anything happening are slim though.

A fire when I am in the shower would mean I could get the baby in seconds. If I on the school run it may take 5-10 minutes before I am even aware there is a fire. Not great is it?

I am far from an over-protective mum but being in the garden and shower is very different to being outside the school gates. It is stupid to pretend otherwise.

I have left my house, I’m on the school run which you have categorically stated you would report to SS.

Dorsetdays

I’m not a mathematician by any stretch, Dorset. I’ll leave the basic arithmetic to you.
In both cases, the baby remains under the supervision of the parents.

Now how far did you go? You really don’t want to say, do you?

Hercule. I’ve already told you that, you’re just not reading the posts.

School is next door, it’s closer than my washing line to the house.

Not hard to see which is less risky (not that I consider either risky in my own personal circs)

If it helps get your head around it I can measure it with when I get home from the gym 😂 but in the meantime, suffice to say my school run is closer

Dorsetdays

Roughly how far is it? My next door is about ten feet.

The school itself must have been at least fifty feet long (the gates). You must have had to go in and cross the yard. Please don’t try to present this as ten feet away. You look foolish.

Our school has about 30 pupils, sadly there is no grand 25 foot entrance. The playground is behind the school house not in front and it has an entrance gate right onto the street where parents collect from.