AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

[NotMyUsualNameNoSiree]

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

[herculepoirot2]

You seem to remember it well. Still unable to say roughly how far?

[herculepoirot2]

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. You either left the baby unattended or you didn’t. If you didn’t, I would have seen no need to report you. If you did, I would have felt I had no other choice.

My contention isn’t that you are a shit parent. Good parents make mistakes. Just that your actions put your child at risk.

[Dorsetdays]

Ive clearly demonstrates that I put my baby at less risk doing the school run alone than I do from being in my own garden. That’s the point, you can’t make sweeping statements without knowing the facts.

If you have concerns of course you report them but just stop and check first in case, and I know you won’t like this but, just in case you’re wrong. That’s all.

[herculepoirot2]

Dorsetdays

You haven’t, Dorset. You haven’t given enough (clear) information to say whether you left your property unattended or you didn’t. I’m assuming from your reply that you did. Like I said before, there’s nothing else to check at that point. Unattended 4 month old = call SS and police. I wouldn’t be able to live myself if I didn’t and the worst happened.

[herculepoirot2]

And I would really rather err on the side of caution for the baby, not the adult. You know, the baby that doesn’t have any power or any choices. Not the adult, who could simply have made the responsible choice.

[Ginlinessisnexttogodliness]

@Dorsetdays I think you need to stop now

Do the school know you leave your baby alone in the house? I very much doubt it because they are directly contravening professional guidelines if they turn a blind eye to it.

[herculepoirot2]

The teachers are part of the same social group and knew full well that on one, possibly two occasions I’d left my child at home.

This is the problem when things are matey matey. Things get missed. I hope those teachers know, if something happened to your child and it came out that they knew and didn’t do anything, they could be banned from teaching.

[Ginlinessisnexttogodliness]

If the school knows and due to social conventions they are overlooking it then that is remarkable and dicing with their professional registration.

I wonder what else they do nothing about because they are friends with some of the parents. Makes you wonder doesn’t it

[Dorsetdays]

Again if you’d actually read any of the posts you’d know my DC are 16 and 18 now so on balance I think they’re probably ok to leave and doubt SS would be overly interested.

I did leave my DD once or twice to do the school run which, as I’ve exhaustedly pointed out was closer than being in my garden.

So don’t generalise and go running to SS until you know the actual facts.

[Ginlinessisnexttogodliness]

To some extent the age of your children now is irrelevant: you still did this.

The school should not have done nothing about it. Or should I say your friends. Perhaps if they had you wouldn’t be on being so blasé about it, being an ally retentive about how far your garden and school are apart etc.

But familiarity breeds contempt as they say

[Ginlinessisnexttogodliness]

Anally retentive
Not an ally
But with an extra “e” it might have be relevant to the whole pathetic garden debate

[herculepoirot2]

I think sometimes when people acquire a little bit of money and education (and it doesn’t take much) they start believing stuff like SS is for “other people”.

[LadAlive]

Looking forward to greenrockstar's next rabid rant.
'You can fucking fuck off hercule. I left my children for as long as I wanted, they might have cried but it made them stronger, at least I'm not a fucking helicopter parent like you, caring if they're home alone or not. They're 4 months old ffs they can breathe. What more do they want?!?!'

[herculepoirot2]

[Dorsetdays]

Again if you’d actually read any of the posts you’d know my DC are 16 and 18 now so on balance I think they’re probably ok to leave and doubt SS would be overly interested.

I did leave my DD once or twice to do the school run which, as I’ve exhaustedly pointed out was closer than being in my garden.

So don’t generalise and go running to SS until you know the actual facts.

[LadAlive]

Stop trying to justify pissing off out of the house leaving your baby alone.
It wasn't alright 'then' and it's not alright now.
My DC are all in their 30s. Nobody I knew left their babies home alone, ever.
Hanging the washing out, being in the shower, in the garden...NOT THE SAME THING.
And you know it.

[greenrockstar]

@herculepoirot2 @Ginlinessisnexttogodliness at the end of day I'm not going to accuse a mother of neglect for a one off 10 mins absence. I never had to consider mine for the school run because they were close in age and also DH was hone in the afternoon. But I will not condone a mother for all we know is a one off as being neglectful. My argument was the same risk was taken by my for being at the end of the garden painting for 15 mins at a time. My children may have woken during that time but they wouldn't be terrified or anything like. They'd wait until I came, they're adults now with no memory or issues.

Another mothers situation with school run was different to mine but the same potential outcome.

However, what gets me of @herculepoirot2 has posted over 50 tunes from 7.50 am to this evening? With no breaks and she's calling others neglectful that's every 15 minutes.... just so she can keep beating the drum that she's a good mother and others are not.

[LadAlive]

'They'd wait until I came'
They had no other option.
#pavlovsdogs

[herculepoirot2]

However, what gets me of @herculepoirot2 has posted over 50 tunes from 7.50 am to this evening..

So fucking what? My child and I have eaten three meals at the table together, been out in the rain for a two hour nature walk, played, read together, gone to soft play, done bath time and story time. At no point was my child left alone with the cat.

I know which parent I would prefer.

[greenrockstar]

@herculepoirot2 is totally OTT, you have no filter you say you're not answering me, going etc. This is becoming an obsession and a platform for you to slag other. Mothers off. That's fucking what!!!

[herculepoirot2]

Not “other mothers”, green. Mothers, fathers, adults in general, who are responsible for helpless babies and leave them with nobody supervising them.

[LadAlive]

How old are your DC @greenrockstar?

[lboogy]

What the clusterfuck is going on in here? Cliffs anyone?

[greenrockstar]

27 & 25 @LadAlive why do you ask?

[LadAlive]

I asked because I was trying to discover if you had them during a time it was OK a blind eye was turned to leaving babies alone, turns out you're not my great-grandmother, so, no...it wasn't OK then either.