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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this wasn’t my fault?

245 replies

BrainScience · 05/06/2019 16:14

At a soft play today with my 3yo. The place is absolutely massive, probably one of the biggest ones in the country. Dc’s are allowed in the mainframe bit unaccompanied but due to the being an exit from both the top and bottom floor and it being big enough for me not to hear dc if he gets stuck/ lost/ hurt so follow him around (and go on all the slides because they’re actually really fun).

Anyway I take our shoes off and leave them with my bag at a table on the bottom floor and go into the play frame with dc. When we come out after about 45 minutes my bag is on the floor with the contents everywhere, cards out of purse, car keys on floor etc. There is also some tablets on the floor - I keep a sheet (8 tablets) of Nurofen plus in my bag, plus a sheet of microgynon (contraceptive pill) zipped up in the inside pocket of my bag in case I ever get a headache or realise I’ve forgotten to take pill at home.

I start tidying it up, immediately assuming I’ve been robbed and thinking how to get home, who to call etc. When woman comes trotting over and says ‘Oh god, sorry. I saw Molly* playing over here but didnt realise she’d gone through your bag! What a little monster!’ and starts to help tidying it up. I mention the tablets are out of the foil and count the ones I pick up. The Nurofen is in sheets of 8 and I can only find 7 tablets, definitely 8 in there before. Everyone has a bit of a panic asking little girl, only 18mo or so, if she’d put any in her mouth, she didn’t really understand. I then find the last tablet at the bottom of my bag (phew!).

A member of staff comes over and wants to fill in an incident form, just in case girl had swallowed any. Woman (who was a childminder rather than parent) still really worried about little girl but I was certain there were only 8 and they still had the print on them so hadn’t got wet. I give my number to both staff member and childminder and ask childminder to call me just to let me know girl is ok.

I then get a lecture from staff member about how if I left medication unattended again I wouldn’t be allowed to return, with childminder clearly taking side of staff member. There are no lockers on the floor we were on (there’s a few on the top floor but they’re generally out of order) and I am normally perfectly happy taking the risk of leaving my bag on the bottom floor at the table.

Aibu to have medicine in a zipped pocket of my bag? I have genuinely never given it a thought but I was made to feel like a was leaving a plate of cocaine on the table for kids to help themselves to. If a kid does injure themselves on anything they take out of my closed bag, surely it’s the fault of the adult not supervising their child? Or am I just being ridiculously thoughtless about it all?

OP posts:
SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 06/06/2019 07:46

It wasn't your fault.
It's good that you even noticed the pills & thought to check.
It's also good that the kid hadn't swallowed any.
Horrible incident.
The staff member was being a dick.
Try to forget about it now OP. Everyone was fine Smile

GabsAlot · 06/06/2019 17:38

Bags are destroyed at soft play?

Utter nonsense stations airports big travel depots maybe but not in a nbloody childs play area

pigeonscooing · 06/06/2019 17:43

Strewth. A supply of headache tablets is a 100% necessity in those places.

manicmij · 06/06/2019 17:44

Definitely down to childminder. Saw child who must have been there for a while emptying out your bag yet didn't check what she was up to. Probably having a lovely chat with other childminders! You gave reaffirmed my opinion of these people.YANBU

CheeseToastieAndABrew · 06/06/2019 17:46

Pity you didn't get her name, you could have asked Ofsted who they thought was in the wrong.

EllenMP · 06/06/2019 17:49

Not your fault at all, but the thing that concerns me about your post is that the tablets were Nurofen Plus. The “plus” in Nurofen Plus is codeine, added to the ibuprofen. Codeine is an opioid painkiller and highly addictive. In my opinion it should not be sold over the counter at all. Opioids are not particularly useful for headaches so there is no reason to be carrying this type of Nurofen around for unexpected headaches. Please switch to regular Nurofen and don’t risk getting hooked on codeine. I know of two lovely mums who ended up addicted and whose lives unraveled completely because of over-the-counter codeine. (Cocodamol also contains codeine, along with paracetamol.) I don’t mean to be. a busybody, but please be careful and only buy or use Nurofen Plus if you absolutely have to and a doctor recommends it and only very occasionally.

PompeyBez · 06/06/2019 17:49

YANBU! The childminder should have been keeping a closer eye on a child of that age. For an 18month old to find medication in a zipped compartment of a handbag means she was rifling for sometime. The play centre should sort the locker situation out if they don't want bags left around.

teachermam · 06/06/2019 17:53

I wouldn't leave bag unattended in case it was taken
Not the best idea

Yamayo · 06/06/2019 17:57

'Unattended bag destroyed at local Gambados'

Yep, that's a catchy headline... Grin

MorondelaFrontera · 06/06/2019 17:58

Soft play centres simply wouldn't go around destroying handbags!

Now that I would like to see!

Sb74 · 06/06/2019 17:59

Where I live everyone leaves their bags unattended in play centres whilst they go and play with their kids etc. It is a nice area so I’ve never worried or had any problems. I don’t think it would as your fault at all op.

Sb74 · 06/06/2019 17:59

That was I don’t think it was your fault... predictive text!!!

beingmum39 · 06/06/2019 18:05

In this day and age even the staff member should have been vigilant about an unattended bag

Rivoli · 06/06/2019 18:08

This thread is so silly! How can anyone think this was the OP's fault! The toddler could have choked on any random thing, a coin, a button, anything lying around, or bumped her head on a table or the floor....because she was UNSUPERVISED! 🤦🏻‍♀️

If a child had rifled through my bag I'd be livid! It's a good idea to post the childminder's details on FB OP, if you are so inclined. But otherwise please don't lose a night's sleep over this.

ShowMeTheKittens · 06/06/2019 18:10

I would never leave my bag unattended, what a strange thing to do!

MorondelaFrontera · 06/06/2019 18:12

I would never leave my bag unattended, what a strange thing to do!

do you genuinely take your nappy bag with you when you go and play in a soft play with your kids? I don't. I do keep phone/wallet/keys on me because I always do, but bag with medication and so on, I leave.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 06/06/2019 18:12

Sorry I think you were a bit unreasonable to leave medication lying around, in a place designed for small children, in a location where a kid could get at it. Of course the CM clearly should also have been keeping a closer eye on her charge, but I think in a place like that there is a degree of collective responsibility for all the children's welfare. The staff member was being a bit officious, but is probably on minimum wage and the edge of their nerves. I would be, it must be litigation central.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 06/06/2019 18:16

live in the southeast. The Softplay and kids play places are considered prime targets for a number of different types of attack - chemical, terrorist etc. Bags, if left attended, are usually destroyed. There is an expectation that you need to take bags with you throughout the building - a couple of places don’t allow bags at all except where there is a medical need and even then they need to be kept on your person at all times.

Really? Really really?

We left a backpack at the Science museum . It was half term and a special event so absolutely packed. We found it safe and sound in the lost property.

Also managed to get back a bag DD left on the tube!!

TigerTooth · 06/06/2019 18:19

Totally CM’s fault. I have migraine tablets in my bag and sanding. I wouldn’t leave my bag because it would get stolen here in London but I frequently leave it when in Hampshire and a child rifling through it and taking my tablets has never crossed my mind. Do we have to remove tablets when we visit a friends house if they have children? If they visit us? No - CM should have watched her charge. I bet the parents wouldn’t have blamed you.

user1472151176 · 06/06/2019 18:23

I'm cautious about leaving medication in my bag because of my kids but completely understand and what a good idea to keep headache tablets and the pill on you. Personally I think the childminder is at fault and should be paying more attention. I understand that childminders have more than one child to watch and I know there must be some brilliant child minders out there - not in my area though! Everytime I've been to soft play round here the child minders all meet up drink their tea and coffee and take no notice of the kids - it's infuriating - it completely put me off ever using a child minder. Like I say I'm sure there are brilliant ones out there who do fantastic jobs but unfortunately none I've seen (where I live - which is a bit of a rubbish area). I wouldn't leave anything unattended here either!

MorondelaFrontera · 06/06/2019 18:24

YourSarcasmIsDripping
You can't compare the science museum and the tube, SouthEast soft plays are a TARGET I tell you!

Grin Grin Grin

DeniseRoyal · 06/06/2019 18:25

YADNBU, I would have been furious to have been blamed for some random child rooting through MY bag!! Lots of people keep medication in their bags for the same reason, i for one. The childminder is completley at fault, as are the staff for blaming you. X

LaraLondon1 · 06/06/2019 18:30

Yanbu . What a cheek of the others giving you a hard time . Are we all supposed to vett and baby proof our bags for children we have no responsibility over !
I would be mortified if my child pulled someone’s bags asunder . Child minders fault & if anyone rings you I’d be sure to stick with that .

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/06/2019 18:31

The childminder should have been watching her charge. It was her fault. I would have been outraged that a child had been left to rifle through my bag!

THIS ^

I would expect my child to be watched properly. Children shouldn't be allowed to go through random bags - dangerous for the child, and just bloody bad-mannered to allow it. Childminder obviously knew that her charge had "previous" for this - she shouldn't have let it happen.

Yamayo · 06/06/2019 18:33

I carry my son's emergency medication wherever I go. It's left in the bag at all times in case I forget.
Individually doses in plastic syringes with a little plastic lid- absolutely a hazard for young kids but I would be more concerned about the bag being stolen that a random toddler being allowed to rifle through it.

OP YADNBU

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