To think this wasn’t my fault?

[BrainScience]

At a soft play today with my 3yo. The place is absolutely massive, probably one of the biggest ones in the country. Dc’s are allowed in the mainframe bit unaccompanied but due to the being an exit from both the top and bottom floor and it being big enough for me not to hear dc if he gets stuck/ lost/ hurt so follow him around (and go on all the slides because they’re actually really fun).

Anyway I take our shoes off and leave them with my bag at a table on the bottom floor and go into the play frame with dc. When we come out after about 45 minutes my bag is on the floor with the contents everywhere, cards out of purse, car keys on floor etc. There is also some tablets on the floor - I keep a sheet (8 tablets) of Nurofen plus in my bag, plus a sheet of microgynon (contraceptive pill) zipped up in the inside pocket of my bag in case I ever get a headache or realise I’ve forgotten to take pill at home.

I start tidying it up, immediately assuming I’ve been robbed and thinking how to get home, who to call etc. When woman comes trotting over and says ‘Oh god, sorry. I saw Molly* playing over here but didnt realise she’d gone through your bag! What a little monster!’ and starts to help tidying it up. I mention the tablets are out of the foil and count the ones I pick up. The Nurofen is in sheets of 8 and I can only find 7 tablets, definitely 8 in there before. Everyone has a bit of a panic asking little girl, only 18mo or so, if she’d put any in her mouth, she didn’t really understand. I then find the last tablet at the bottom of my bag (phew!).

A member of staff comes over and wants to fill in an incident form, just in case girl had swallowed any. Woman (who was a childminder rather than parent) still really worried about little girl but I was certain there were only 8 and they still had the print on them so hadn’t got wet. I give my number to both staff member and childminder and ask childminder to call me just to let me know girl is ok.

I then get a lecture from staff member about how if I left medication unattended again I wouldn’t be allowed to return, with childminder clearly taking side of staff member. There are no lockers on the floor we were on (there’s a few on the top floor but they’re generally out of order) and I am normally perfectly happy taking the risk of leaving my bag on the bottom floor at the table.

Aibu to have medicine in a zipped pocket of my bag? I have genuinely never given it a thought but I was made to feel like a was leaving a plate of cocaine on the table for kids to help themselves to. If a kid does injure themselves on anything they take out of my closed bag, surely it’s the fault of the adult not supervising their child? Or am I just being ridiculously thoughtless about it all?

It wasn't your fault but I personally wouldn't leave medication in a bag within a small child's reach. We will know that there are some children at soft play who are just left to get on with it by parents/carers who can't be bothered to watch them. Its not your responsibility but I wouldn't want to take the risk.

childminders should pay more attention to their charges.

I think I'm on this side of the fence. But you do have to consider what you put in your bag - small children love exploring them. I'm speaking from bitter experience, having recently lost something precious this way.

Childminder wasn't minding the child was she? If I were the parents I'd really want to know how negligent she was, child must've been left unattended for quite a while to be able to unpack your entire bag, find the pills and get them out the foil.

I always have tablets in my bag, it has never occurred to me that other peoples children would be allowed to rifle through it. (I have now made a mental note that this could potentially happen)

There’s nothing wrong with leaving your property unattended in a soft play. It’s entirely your decision.

You can’t be expected to predict someone is going to rifle through it. I would have told the staff member to fuck off.

Totally not your fault , I am a childminder and although I don’t helicopter I am aware of where each of my charges is and what they are doing at all times.

It's not your fault at all. The childminder wasn't doing her job properly and the staff member was rude.

There is never the right time for a bum bag.

Adults aren't allowed in softplay near me. The children have to use the age appropriate areas, I suppose it's a good policy as it saves all this grey area cobblers.

There is never the right time for a bum bag

so true

Just wondering what the posters who are horrified think I should do with my epipens that won’t go in a small bag. Or my friend who needs to get 10 lots of medication 5 times a day including an injection not to mention her blood sugar monitor.

My local softplay's rules state you cannot take bags into the play area and there are no lockers. I have to leave my stuff at the table when my ds gets stuck and i have to rescue him. I would expect carers to supervise their children.

Childminders fault. She had no idea what the baby was doing until last minute and the baby must have been at it a while.

They are lucky you didn't have a lighter and cigarettes zipped up in there! Soft play is out of line, especially given that their lockers are always out of order. How can you lock them up?

So the 18 month old was unsupervised long enough to find your bag, empty it everywhere and go through all the side pockets. I think the CM was deflecting attention from the Management onto you away from her.

I would actually go back and complain that you, another paying customer, were blamed for the negligence of another customer towards a child in their charge. No way should they have done that.

YANBU If anything I would complain to the soft play people. I was at a soft play place once where somebody's kid's SHOES were stolen. WTF?!

No. It wasn't your fault. The CM panicked and so did the play centre. That's nuts to tell you not to have things in your bag. Would they ban choking hazards in your bag too? Nonsense.

I wouldn't leave my bag down anywhere for 45 minutes but where the hell was the childminder?! An 18 month old would have taken more than a few seconds to empty an entire blister pack of tablets, it's a pity you didn't get the childs parents number for a nice "follow up call" to let them know what type of person is (not) watching their child.

The CM was probably just jumping on the bandwagon in blaming you in order to deflect the blame from herself.

Not your fault. If the child was left unattended long enough to empty out the bag's contents, open the inside pocket and take out its contents, AND play with a packet of pills, possibly consuming one in the process, then the childminder definitely wasn't paying enough attention.

I suspect the childminder taking the side of the staff member is because she knew that she'd have to explain to the child's parents why said child wasn't being properly supervised.

And as for not having medication in your back, well that's just ridiculous. Most people have some ibuprofen or whatever about them, it's not like you had a bag overflowing with morphine and MDMA.

In our soft play you aren't allowed to take bags in the actual play area. Some people have to have medication in their bags. I carry a rucksack at all times because my ds has bowel problems. I leave it on the table if I go into the play area with him and I expect it to be there untouched when I return. We have nappy bags and wet wipes in his bag if a 18 month old were to get hold of those and put them in their mouth. The consequences wouldn't be good if nobody was watching.
Also I would be absolutely mortified if my child did this. I've brought my children up to not go in other peoples bags!

YANBU. It was the Childminder's fault, you could have had anything in your bag which a child could have choked on, plus a flask with a hot drink, or sharp objects.

It is the role of the adult to supervise the children, not every adult entering to risk assess their bag for the careless childminder.

She should have been watching the child closely especially as she was a childminder! I have medication in my bag in a zipped packet I wouldn't leave it lying around due to the fear of theft of my bag not a child not being watched properly! YANBU

YANBU
By their logic you also would be irresponsible if you had a plastic bag in your handbag? Or coins? Or a lighter? Or antibac gel?
Because all these could be dangerous to an unsupervised child... so I guess the answer is to supervise the child you stupid CF! (not you OP!)

YANBU. This is the ultimate in palming off the care and responsibility for you children onto other people. If your child is rifling through people's bags in public you're definitely not paying enough attention.