To think this wasn’t my fault?

[BrainScience]

At a soft play today with my 3yo. The place is absolutely massive, probably one of the biggest ones in the country. Dc’s are allowed in the mainframe bit unaccompanied but due to the being an exit from both the top and bottom floor and it being big enough for me not to hear dc if he gets stuck/ lost/ hurt so follow him around (and go on all the slides because they’re actually really fun).

Anyway I take our shoes off and leave them with my bag at a table on the bottom floor and go into the play frame with dc. When we come out after about 45 minutes my bag is on the floor with the contents everywhere, cards out of purse, car keys on floor etc. There is also some tablets on the floor - I keep a sheet (8 tablets) of Nurofen plus in my bag, plus a sheet of microgynon (contraceptive pill) zipped up in the inside pocket of my bag in case I ever get a headache or realise I’ve forgotten to take pill at home.

I start tidying it up, immediately assuming I’ve been robbed and thinking how to get home, who to call etc. When woman comes trotting over and says ‘Oh god, sorry. I saw Molly* playing over here but didnt realise she’d gone through your bag! What a little monster!’ and starts to help tidying it up. I mention the tablets are out of the foil and count the ones I pick up. The Nurofen is in sheets of 8 and I can only find 7 tablets, definitely 8 in there before. Everyone has a bit of a panic asking little girl, only 18mo or so, if she’d put any in her mouth, she didn’t really understand. I then find the last tablet at the bottom of my bag (phew!).

A member of staff comes over and wants to fill in an incident form, just in case girl had swallowed any. Woman (who was a childminder rather than parent) still really worried about little girl but I was certain there were only 8 and they still had the print on them so hadn’t got wet. I give my number to both staff member and childminder and ask childminder to call me just to let me know girl is ok.

I then get a lecture from staff member about how if I left medication unattended again I wouldn’t be allowed to return, with childminder clearly taking side of staff member. There are no lockers on the floor we were on (there’s a few on the top floor but they’re generally out of order) and I am normally perfectly happy taking the risk of leaving my bag on the bottom floor at the table.

Aibu to have medicine in a zipped pocket of my bag? I have genuinely never given it a thought but I was made to feel like a was leaving a plate of cocaine on the table for kids to help themselves to. If a kid does injure themselves on anything they take out of my closed bag, surely it’s the fault of the adult not supervising their child? Or am I just being ridiculously thoughtless about it all?

I thought you were going to say your bag or something got stolen then that would be your fault for leaving unattended but it's not your fault that a child goes through your bag and takes a tablet. Children should be monitored but I can see the staff members side as the bag was left unattended . I think she should of given the childminder a telling off too perhaps she misunderstood , did she understand the child had gone through your bag that the pills were not just left on the table ?

If outdoor shoes are lying around a child could easily pick one up and ingest dog poo or anything. It's entirely the fault of the cm for not looking after her charge.

I carry antihistamines and an epi-pen. They cannot be left in the car park. People are being quite odd about this. I think the OP should be able to carry anything she wants in her zipped bag without having to consider whether it might be dangerous if an unsupervised toddler is given time to rifle through it.

Absolutely not your fault OP! But surely someone else must have seen it happen? And didn't step in? Not that she was anyone else's responsibility but the childminder's of course.

I don't think it's your fault at all.

think the soft play taking the line that customers shouldn't leave medication unattended is a good one.

Much better idea is not to leave the children unattended to rifle through private property.
I would have to email back softplay,being berated for somebody elses mistake isnt on.And leave a fb review.

It does astound me the posters that are saying you are in the wrong too OP

How on earth is an irresponsible childminder not doing their job your fault?? Ignore anyone who says it is. As another poster said - you should be the one that is apologised to, not the other way round.

The childminder should have been watching her charge. It was her fault. I would have been outraged that a child had been left to rifle through my bag!

Wow, totally her fault for not keeping an eye out, and for not checking as soon as she saw her charge over by your bag! But I wouldn't have left my bag unattatended either, but for other reasons. I'm guessing that both the staff member and childminder are worried for their jobs which both must include supervision. They're both looking to cover themselves by blaming you.

You poor thing, you must have had a panic!
Of course YANBU. The childminder was in the wrong for ignoring an 18 month old for so long.

Do let us know if they ring. Hope you’ve had time to collect your thoughts and give them a piece of your mind.

What if you had left a hot coffee on your table and the child pulled it over on herself and got burned?

A bit gobsmacked at the people trying to say this is your fault. Of course it isn't, it was the childminders fault.

Soft play should have some lockers

Parents and carers shouldn't just dump their kids in soft play and ignore them whilst on their phone or chatting with their friends. For so many reasons!

I think you were unreasonable to leave your bag with medicines unattended in softplay, in reach of small children. You should have taken it with you or put it up high out of reach (shelf or peg). Imagine if the child had swallowed some!

I worked for a while at a place with a soft play area.

Guess where all the thefts were committed? That's right - in the soft play area.

Again, some of us keep their keys/ wallets and phone with them at all time.

I don't know anyone who takes their handbag or nappy bag with them.
Of course you leave everything on your chair.

Imagine if the child had swallowed some
Then the CM could expect serious consequences for not taking care of the children she is paid to look after. Poor kid. It's disgusting all these people who don't look after them in public places like that.

Much better idea is not to leave the children unattended to rifle through private property.

Since I said the OP was not being unreasonable and that the ultimate responsibility lay with the childminder I already covered that dustarr. However, that doesn't mean that making environments less risky is necessarily a bad idea as sometimes things do go wrong.

I don’t think it’s your fault. Could have had anything in there unsuitable for children to play with.
I’ve got purse, keys, pens, little note book, lippy, empty carrier bag, all sorts of stuff(really need to sort it out) but not your fault if an unattended child ruffles through it.

Phew, I’m glad most people don’t think I was being out of order. I have now taken the Nurofen out of my bag - they’ve been in there for over a year so I don’t know how effective they would be anyway. I’m keeping my microgynon in there though. I keep it in there in case I forget to take it in the morning or if we go away somewhere and I haven’t brought it with me. I always take the same handbag everywhere so it’s reassuring to know it’s there. Tbh if the little girl had managed to get those out of the foil I wouldn’t have known how many there were and it would have been a lot more worrying for everyone.

I wasn’t cross with the childminder as she was clearly very concerned and upset at the time. I just thought it was really cheeky how quickly she decided to side with the staff member. I don’t even know what she’d have been doing if she wasn’t watching little girl as there’s no phone signal or WiFi there.

I don't think it's your fault at all. The child minder should have been supervising her charge properly.

She sided with the staff member because she knew she was at fault.

Totally the childminders fault.
What was OP meant to do with the medication in her bag? I may have been inclined to say to the staff that if that is their stance, then they need to provide lockers to put valuables or items that pose a risk in. Lots of people need medication Andi think it’s less appropriate to carry them around the soft play - imagine if they got dropped in a ball pit!!

Also, that child must have been going through your bag for some time which means she was definitely not adequately supervised!

YANBU to carry whatever you want in your own bag! I have keys including a deadbolt key. If you’ve never seen one, it looks similar to a pointy drill bit and is definitely not safe for kids. Plus I usually have gum or tictacs, a pen, a purse full of coins, a little fruit shaped lip balm, and other small items that aren’t suitable for kids. My DM’s bag is equally unsafe as she carries a diabetes kit with needles plus essential medication that she takes every couple of hours. In the US some people actually carry handguns in their bags too!

The childminder was BU to let her child even touch your bag never mind empty it out! And I’d have lost my temper with the jobsworth employee. If someone rifles through your bag then it’s their own fault if they hurt themselves.

Your bag & all its contents would be gone if you left it anywhere, where I live (North London). But she wasn't watching the child if she had that much of a rummage! Maybe for peace of mind, leave it in the boot of your car next time.

Childminders fault. She was covering her own back by siding with the soft play and blaming you. The child minder wasn't looking after the child properly. You could have had scissors in your bag to open milk cartons that the child may have found. Or if your child needed medication then you would be carrying it. What about a pot of sudocreme or steroid cream for nappy rash, what if they opened it and put it in their mouth. Are you supposed to not carry anything in case some other random parent/ childminder isn't looking after their child and let's them ransack other people's property.