DS deliberately missed bus expecting a lift, I refused and so he bunked off

[CaptainMarvellous]

DS is 12. I woke him at 7am expecting him to get up and out the door, I warned him then I was leaving too late to give him a lift. He's supposed to set an alarm but claimed today it didn't go off. The bus goes at 7.20, he has previously got up and caught the bus in 20mins. Today he decided he couldn't. He also told me he wasn't going to walk (60 min walk).
I reminded him that I was leaving too late to drop him, he lied to me and said lessons start 15mins later than they do. He denied knowing what time school starts for the rest of the argument. The crux of it is I refused to give him a lift, locked him out of the house and went out. I was hoping that with no where to go he'd walk to school. I've emailed school to let them know he's effectively bunking. When I returned he's climbed in through a downstairs window (highlighting our crap security).
So who was BU?
I should add I also have 1yo and 7yo DC so DS isn't my focus in the morning. And we will be ferrying him around for his sport 3 evenings this week (think 90min round trips at 8.3pm) for which he shows no gratitude. We can't ditch it as we've agreed to take a friend

🤣

Uvavu

As to the rest - I’m sorry I just can’t take it seriously.

And it’s no wonder as a society we have a high percentage of children and adults who are morbidly obese

This is a fit and healthy active 12 year old child, a 60 min walk or a 25 min run would be nothing for a child of this age

It’s 3 miles! To. Fit and active 12 year old thisnis a walk in the park.

And I disagree the OP locked him out... he was expected to attend school, she “secured” her property.

And it’s no wonder as a society we have a high percentage of children and adults who are morbidly obese

I know.

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend even OP admitted she was U and a different approach was needed.

Yes she communicated to her son could have been handled better, however her intent was good.

*how she

As to the rest - I’m sorry I just can’t take it seriously.

except...you have been.

however her intent was good.

Have you read OP's posts? She admits herself that it wasn't, that she's been seeing her son as an enemy, not been focussing on her nearly enough and is taking steps to change this.

Captain marvellous I have a 12 y old, they can be very devious and I do not think you did anything wrong, it’s there responsibility to get them self’s to school, do not feel bad you did nothing wrong!!

Nope, never taken anything you said seriously Carole. I doubt anyone has tbh.

Now on what grounds do you say that? Given that the majority agree with me. Are you just making stuff up again? . The good thing is that the thread is here for anyone who wants to decide how seriously I have been taken for themselves. I'm pretty happy with my parenting choices, and posts on this thread tbh 🤷‍♀️

*@Macca84 and mine left me for about half an hour when I was two. Didn't do me any harm either,never got hurt or anything. I bet you wouldn't rush leaving your 2 yo tho.

The thing with parenting is that despite the little blips and shit life throws at us we should strive for more than "didn't do me any harm".

I was independent as fuck, I didn't get any extra medals for it.*

YourSarcasm your point makes zero sense 😆 I was 12, not 2. An age where a child really should be learning how to get themselves up, dressed and out to school without some overbearing mother having to do everything for them. Which is... well, completely unlike what you'd 2 for a 2 year old. Assume you must have misread my post

Because as a parent I strive for more than "It didn't do me any harm" regardless of age.

there really are some weird, unkind people around.

tatiana doesnt give a fuck but has been arguing that anyone who does is creating snowflakes, mollycoddling, over invested etc etc.

macca thinks that any 12 year old who gets help from a parent has an 'overbearing mother'.

carol and others, like me, are more of the 'lets be kind, let's work together to make this family/house work so that we are all happy' types.

Firmly in this camp, me.

Netmums is that way hun —>

lolz hun tatiana too funny

It not only did me no harm, it helped me to grow into an independent person at a young age, which I am grateful for. The point of parenting at this age is to teach them how to live independently.

Yolo, nice word-twisting there

Just because you have younger children, it doesn't mean the older ones grow up any quicker. All said and done, he's 12.

Start putting your focus onto him. He is still your child. Yes, it seems like he was being deliberately obtuse, but he is still your child. He is still a child. The same as the younger ones. Maybe he needs his mum too.

Mornings are stressful. I used to wake mine up when I got up. Some children are better than others at organising themselves.

Don't push him away.

tatiana is so funny, you can feel the anger radiating from her posts. Maybe she has had resolved childhood issues.

*Has unresolved

Although, there admittedly are many factors that are likely influencing my outlook on importance of teaching kids independence from a young age. I guess if we all raised our kids the same, the world would be a boring place

macca this is what you said:
YourSarcasm your point makes zero sense 😆 I was 12, not 2. An age where a child really should be learning how to get themselves up, dressed and out to school without some overbearing mother having to do everything for them. Which is... well, completely unlike what you'd 2 for a 2 year old. Assume you must have misread my post smile

I've been on MN for over a decade and that's how long that NetMums crack has been going...😴

A 12 year old should be perfectly capable of setting his own alarm and getting himself out of the house on time

Exactly, should. All kids are different. That's why I get fed up of this one size fits all.