Be honest - would you judge the girl under 20 who has 2 children?

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Honestly, what would your thoughts be at this?? Especially if the person looks under 20.

and Bluntness100 should stop being so goady and projecting her own inadequacies on others, because it's now clear that she is trying to go for a fight despite the poster not taking the bait and trying to answer politely

Eh? What's my inadequacies? 🤣

@myDH, getting drunk once in a while with friends isn't a bad thing. Why do you think it is? Did you even read my last post? Or does it just not fit your somewhat limited narrative?

Do they do PhDs in obtuse thinking?

I have no idea what myDH is talking about Bluntness. I think someone's been on the wine

@lucymegan for me I simply was not mature enough to put someone else’s needs above my own until I felt ready to do so.

The idea of having a child and not putting it first did not enter my head so I had to wait u til I had enough money and commitment to bring a child into the world that was not until my late 30s!

I think my inadequacies is I occasionally went out with friends on my own.

Colour me bad, 🤣

Theres a thread about mum guilt running at the mo. Such a shame women are made to feel guilty at the slightest thought of doing anything for just them

I hope you got sozzled bluntness and enjoyed every minute of those times

You terrible person Bluntness

You should see the kicking I'm getting on another thread for going to listen to HEAVY METAL MUSIC for 6 DAYS without my CHILD. Jeeeeeeez.

Wouldn't care and wouldn't judge

That's my thread

I had 2 before 19 and they have a good life. My son done well at school and my daughter is aiming high too. I'm in my 30s now and I had way more energy then than I do now!

If it were a choice, a real choice? If I'm being honest, I would be puzzled, slightly skeptical, and slightly in awe.

I know that at 20 I was nowhere near ready to have a child, let alone two, and I would have missed out on some of the great adventures and self-knowledge of my life. I would also not have given myself the space to find my wonderful partner and husband, who is my lodestone.

But I can say that everyone I knew who had kids at 20 didn't do it out of absolute choice, but by accident. For some of them, it's worked out well; for others, less well. But I knew these girls before they got pregnant, and they had dreams and hopes and aspirations that they never got to fulfill.

If you do it by choice and live the dream that you have after two kids by 20, again, I am puzzled and skeptical and in awe. Several of the women I know who had kids by c. 16 are great mothers and live happy lives--just not the lives they dreamed of beforehand.

But if you're looking for honestly, on a personal level, I am very, very glad that I wasn't a teenage mother. I wouldn't have found the joy that I have, and I suspect that I would be both a very good and a very frustrated mother,

Monstrance you have no idea how envious I am of you right now. I would love to go download but funds are tight. You should definitely go and rock out hard!!!
\m/ \m/

Just make sure you get myDH's blessing first.

P.s. please let me know if Tool are any good, I've wanted to watch them live for years.

@Koolbeans aww thankyou! I wont be rocking too hard as I'm currently hosting a fetus, but I will be catching Tool!

You do right, gotta get these moments in whilst you can

Oh and I see you've asked on your thread is it good. I've been a couple of times (prior to having kids, for the more saintly on this thread) and, let me tell you its bloody brilliant. No human sacrifices or anything like that, but it's fantastic all the same. You'll meet like-minded metal heads and you'll have so much fun. Your dd will be fine with your mum, kids love staying with grandparents.

You deserve it.

Monstrance you do understand if you socialise without your kid you're an inadequate parent right? 🤣

Agree with the pp it's terrible in this day and age women are still made to feel guilty, great parents, still being attacked and this thread is a perfect example of it.

Yes 100%. I don't believe anyone who says they wouldnt

Its frankly pathetic. You're damned if you have kids too young, or too old, or if you stay at home, or if you work, or if you try to maintain a social life or have any other identity other than 'mum'. Dads don't do this to each other.

I don't know Bluntness100 ,you keep attacking me and only me so I am assuming there's a problem somewhere 🤷

If that helps, go for it. I cannot remember if it was on this thread or another, but I do love the comparison with a hissing stray cat in the street.

The only dad i know who does get the guilt is a single dad i know, where the mum isnt in the picture. He doesn't get the judgement though, he's a fucking hero.

Monstrance - it figures

No, I was that mum and my children are happy and well adjusted, the eldest 3 are adults and doing well, I have a rewarding career I love, we have a good life and have lots of happy memories of family holidays and days out. Thank you @breaker but we don't need your pity.

MyDH - where has bluntness attacked you?

How about judging the Father/s of these children ?

My dh genuinely I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm questioning you, I can't see where I've attacked?

On the other hand so far you've called me an inadequate parent and I think now a hissing cat in the street. Both of which I'm not going to report as I believe in letting these things stand, they say more about you than me.

You do understand that when you resort to personal insults it simply tells us you are intellectually unable to defend your argument? So have to resort to insulting people?