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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH not telling me he's planning to leave DC at home alone

181 replies

NoTheyAreNotTeenagers · 03/06/2019 14:23

I started an evening course which DH suggested and is 100% behind. The DC used to have a sports club, so I dropped them off, went to my course and DH picked them up. They've stopped that sports club for the summer so I've been taking the 530pm bus on the understanding that DH will be home on the 546pm bus. DC are happy with this, I turn on the tv before I go and they sit and watch until DH is home.
They are allowed tv 5-6pm anyway and generally don't move until we call them for their food.

I just texted him to remind him I'm at my course this week and he replied saying he would most likely be late home and arriving at 620pm.

AIBU to be mightily pissed off with him not telling me in advance? I could have arranged something, but now there's no one I can ask at such sort notice. The next bus leaves after my course starts. He says he spoke to the DC about it last time and they are ok with being left alone until he's there. He thinks I'm babying them (I wouldn't leave them to get themselves alone to school when I had a hospital appointment, took them to a friend's house) and they will be fine. I'm on edge as I think they're too young, 7 and 9.

OP posts:
managedmis · 07/06/2019 02:25

I hate it when the op asks a question, then disregards all the responses Confused what's the point?

Dana28 · 07/06/2019 02:26

(Lots of Cub Scout first aid badge nights tells me that most 7yr olds say 'you phone the ambulance' but don't know how, or think the number is 911, etc)

Bullshit. If you were involved with cubs you would at least know what age they are. 2 if your child doesn't know 999 by age 6 you are failing as a parent

Louise24902 · 07/06/2019 02:55

Going to go against the majority here OP - My sister and I were left alone at this age between when we got home from school and when my mum got in from work a few hours after (because my dad couldn't be bothered staying home for us!), we were always fine, and we were 7 and 9!
We knew to get out if there was a fire, we knew how to call 999, and knew not to answer the door to strangers or start playing around with cookers/gas etc! We also lived in a top floor flat in a city centre!

I think people saying that leaving them alone for 15mins is "neglectful" is ridiculous! Obviously all children are different and some more mature than others but I agree with your DP that leaving the kids alone for an hour is reasonable, provided that they are sensible and know what to do in an emergency. (However don't agree with the talking to kids before you!!)

Also, it isn't illegal to leave your 7 and 9 yo for 15mins as PPs have suggested

Louise24902 · 07/06/2019 02:56

Also, we're only 20 and 22 now, so not that long ago as I know back in the day it was more common etc😁

Pinkblanket · 07/06/2019 10:54

They never left me with a 9 year old either!

Janus · 07/06/2019 11:21

Louise, I think everyone has said that it’s not illegal but IF anything did happen, a fall at home for example, then the parents would absolutely be held accountable. It’s more or less saying as long as nothing happens the law says it’s fine but if something does happen you will be in trouble, I wouldn’t take the risk therefore. I’m sorry but I think your mum leaving you and your sibling ‘for a few hours’ of an evening when you were that age was not right, I understand she had to work as a single mother but I don’t think she should have left you, obviously nothing happened so all is good but if it had who knows what would have happened.

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