To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

[EveryDayImHustlin]

Ok before anyone says it, I know I could just not drink tea/coffee at all, and most of the time I don’t, but I love the taste and occasionally I really fancy a cup. And decaf exists for a reason right?

I’ve never been able to handle caffeine and it started giving me terrible headaches and migraines in my early twenties, so I gave it up for good. I can handle the small amounts in chocolate but have to be careful not to have too much (really dark chocolate especially can trigger something if I have more than a square or two) but tea/coffee/coke/Red Bull etc are completely out.

Anyway, on several occasions recently I’ve found myself ordering a decaf tea or coffee, triple checking with the person serving that it’s definitely decaf (usually getting an eye roll for doing so) and then winding up with a thumping headache an hour later anyway.

I was especially annoyed today because we ordered from a place that’s meant to be particularly good on allergens etc, and yet my ‘decaf’ coffee definitely wasn’t.

If you work in any kind of food service, AIBU to ask that you actually give someone decaf if they ask for it?!

Yanbu.

DH also has a pain condition triggered by caffeine. Most places are really good but it only takes one person mucking up to leave him in pain for a day or two.

Decaff isnt caffiene free at all OP. It's just lower caffiene.

Decaff in a coffee shop is especially impossibly to quantify as every batch will have different amounts due to the bean quality and extraction processes used.

So YABU tbh. Even different batches of instant coffee from the same manufacturer will have different levels.

Hoping to get it consistent in a coffee shop is, well... Hopeless.

There’s still caffeine in decaf, and not all coffee is the same, different roasts, different strengths. I’d bet any money they ARE giving you decaf and it’s just not agreeing with you.

Most of the decaf in the UK has also been chemically decaffinated, making it worse for you and just as likely to give you a headache.

I have days when caffeine makes me feel bleugh and I wouldn't risk it tbh.

I'm caffeine sensitive and have all sorts of decaf coffees with no ill effects. Except when someone doesn't actually give me decaf which triggers my symptoms. Like you I absolutely know when I've had caffeine, usually within 5 minutes. Very frustrating.

We used to offer camp coffee- chicory and decaf coffee essence- made as a latte as a caffine free option, was quite popular.

I'm a bit sympathetic but tbh, If I was as sensitive as OP, I wouldn't ever chance it when out & about. Herbal teas are nice enough. Also am surprised you find it easy to order decaf tea. I wouldn't expect anyone to sell decaf tea.

I wonder if I would be able to tell it was genuine caffeine from the instant caffeine rush almost as soon as I had a decent drink (how I'm affected).

I know that WhiteRedRose and as I said, I can handle small amounts. I’ve been avoiding caffeine for 15 years and I know that I’m fine when I have decaf, despite the trace amounts in there.

I’m not talking about people who serve me decaf and then I react anyway. I’m talking about people who deliberately give me caffeine, I guess because they assume that it doesn’t make any difference or it doesn’t matter. I’ve had people swear blind that they made me decaf when I’ve literally just watched them with my own eyes making the espresso from the regular side of the machine (I know what to look out for in most coffee shops now, e.g. in Costa they open an individual sachet and it goes in the purple handle!)

Last weekend we ordered a pot of tea at a National Trust property, I heard my partner say decaf multiple times and the waitress repeated it back to him. I was three cups in before I noticed that the tags on the teabag weren’t the decaf labels and that was the rest of my weekend wiped out

I’m sure it’s a similar story when people ask for sugar free syrup and people assume they’re just watching their weight rather than realising they might have more serious health implications if they unknowingly have too much sugar. My brother worked in a coffee shop where his colleague told him ‘just give her regular’ when they’d run out of sugar free and he was really shocked.

@lljkk actually you'd be surprised. Pretty much every coffee shop / cafe / restaurant etc round here sells decaf tea.

Yanbu. Caffeine gives me palpitations and on several occasions I’ve noticed after ordering a decaf that I’ve had them (and don’t get this drinking decaf normally) similarly, but much, much worse my diabetic dad has been given full sugar coke instead of a diet one too.

I heard my partner say decaf multiple times and the waitress repeated it back to him. I was three cups in before I noticed that the tags on the teabag weren’t the decaf labels and that was the rest of my weekend wiped out

Surely if there was a label you’d check it, given how serious it is?

Also am surprised you find it easy to order decaf tea. I wouldn't expect anyone to sell decaf tea.

It’s not everywhere but not uncommon either. I only order it when I see they have it on a menu (I’d never just randomly demand it) which is why it’s then especially annoying when regular tea turns up.

Sorry if it sounds grouchy of me but I didn’t ask if IABU to order it, I’m asking if IABU to think that waiting staff should actually serve decaf if that’s what’s asked for?!

Surely if there was a label you’d check it, given how serious it is?

Yes I should, and I normally do, but in this case the labels were just plain black ones with no writing and it wasn’t until I Googled the particular brand that I realised their decaf teabags have bright blue labels.

And as I’d heard the waitress say ‘pot of decaf tea’ I foolishly just didn’t think to check. And I was too excited to be able to have a proper cup of tea with my scone won’t be making that mistake again though!

Take decaf teabags with you and ask for a pot of hot water instead of risking their teabags. Stop drinking coffee out.

Sorry, but I have autoimmune reactions to gluten and wheat. Mild but accumulative. I cannot risk trusting service staff unless it's in a specialist restaurant or cafe.

If you're that sensitive to it then I still say yabu. You know the risks, and you took one. Sorry OP.

The cafe where I work have been really bad in the past and I just never order coffee there now because I don’t trust them.

I’ve stood there asking them ‘this is definitely decaf yes?’ and they just sort of shrugged and it was only once I said ‘because if it’s not I will get really ill’ that they then sheepishly took it off me and make it again.

I know some of my friends have absolutely no reaction to caffeine at all and can go to bed and sleep like a log after several coffees with dinner. So I guess if the person serving is one of those people, they might not realise that decaf makes any difference.

Separate issue but I long for a good tiramisu... my friend has promised to make me one with decaf coffee one day but I’m still waiting!

Yes, I have the same issue.
I have no problem with the odd cup of decaf, but a caffeinated coffee knocks me for six. Just takes one and I get palpitations too, feel shaky, disorientated etc. Followed then by a bad headache and anxiety.
I’ve stopped asking for coffee outside now, just won’t take the risk. I think some cafe staff just think you’re being fussy and don’t realise how it can affect some people.
Last week I had a day to myself. I was really looking forward to it. I started the day with a breakfast in a cafe, asked for a decaf, checked with them it was a decaf when they brought it over. It wasn’t and wrecked my day. ☹️

If you're that sensitive to it then I still say yabu. You know the risks, and you took one. Sorry OP.

Yes that’s totally fair and this is why I hardly ever order it any more. But occasionally I find myself thinking ‘it’ll be fine, I’ll just make sure they know...’ and then it’s still 50/50 as to whether they’ll actually take it seriously. But I think I do need to give up and just have decaf at home (it’s just not the same though!)

I am lucky in that a mistake is only going to give me a headache, at least. I have a friend with a severe peanut allergy and she just avoids Thai restaurants completely because there are so many peanut dishes and she just isn’t willing to take the chance that they might not take her allergy seriously.

I started the day with a breakfast in a cafe, asked for a decaf, checked with them it was a decaf when they brought it over. It wasn’t and wrecked my day. ☹️

That sucks! I sympathise.

I loved living in America for a while, requests for decaf just seem to be much more standard there. I especially love it in diners where the decaf filter coffee is almost always in a pot with an orange handle, so it’s instantly clear whether they’ve given you the right one!

So would a fair conclusion be that IANBU to think it’s shit to knowingly serve me non-decaf, but also that IABU to take the risk in the first place?

That’s pretty much what I suspected

I've had similar when asking for skinny latte (while awaiting gallbladder surgery and any fat caused extreme pain about 30min after eating). I learned I had to watch them like a hawk when making drinks and more than once had to tell them to stop and make it again with red top.

coffee shops use different coffee beans , different strengths of coffee ect so decaf will be different wherever you go some maybe stronger than others I seriously doubt anyone would serve you non decaf on purpose, oh and please don't triple check your order with us we really hate that lol

I think, as you are that sensitive to caffeine, you need to tell them every single time that you will get very unwell if it's not decaf. Most places are very careful about allergies, or vegetarian food, or requests for halal etc whereas a strong reaction to caffeine like you have is so much more unusual, perhaps they're not taking it seriously enough because they don't realise what it will do to you.

Caffeine upsets my system so I don't drink coffee at all. I love tea but usually have a hot chocolate when out or sometimes decaf tea, but my reaction is not as strong as yours (being wiped out for the weekend etc.) and perhaps your condition is less widely known about.

I take my own tea bags everywhere. I've definitely been caffeinated by cafés before and then really struggled.

I found this could be ropey when I was pregnant. Pret started doing stickers for decaf in my branch- not sure if that is standard now everywhere.

I wouldn’t say they did it on purpose, but don’t give enough care and attention. It’s very obvious the difference between a decaf and caffeinated coffee, if you are sensitive. Trust me, it isn’t just fluctuation in decaffs.