To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

[EveryDayImHustlin]

Ok before anyone says it, I know I could just not drink tea/coffee at all, and most of the time I don’t, but I love the taste and occasionally I really fancy a cup. And decaf exists for a reason right?

I’ve never been able to handle caffeine and it started giving me terrible headaches and migraines in my early twenties, so I gave it up for good. I can handle the small amounts in chocolate but have to be careful not to have too much (really dark chocolate especially can trigger something if I have more than a square or two) but tea/coffee/coke/Red Bull etc are completely out.

Anyway, on several occasions recently I’ve found myself ordering a decaf tea or coffee, triple checking with the person serving that it’s definitely decaf (usually getting an eye roll for doing so) and then winding up with a thumping headache an hour later anyway.

I was especially annoyed today because we ordered from a place that’s meant to be particularly good on allergens etc, and yet my ‘decaf’ coffee definitely wasn’t.

If you work in any kind of food service, AIBU to ask that you actually give someone decaf if they ask for it?!

Somebody we know, who ran a pub, was severely punished for selling out-of-date food. When we heard, we assumed it must have been meat or dairy or similar - but it turned out it was just packets of crisps. Not defending them for that, but it's hardly a public health risk in the same way.

That's nonsense as crisps have best before dates on them and it isn't illegal to sell them past that date. Only use by dates can lead to action.

Yes, it seemed odd to me. Maybe they weren't telling the whole story - wouldn't have been the first time....

Not sure if it's been suggested but why not just keep a stash of decaff tea bags in your handbag?
Then you're guaranteed, plus you get to choose the brand.

No solution for coffee tho

Years ago when I stopped drinking caffeine I could taste the difference between decaf and caf coffee because decaf was so inferior. I still drank decaf but took the taste hit for my health (shakes, IBS etc). These days decaf tastes much much better so it's harder for me to tell if I get it misserved.

OP I agree, why the bloody hell should we stop drinking decaf out the house just because sometimes servers don't listen? Surely that's victim blaming? Maybe servers should take it more seriously as you suggest.

I used to work in Sainsbury's cafe, would regularly have orders for decaf tea and coffee. We had decaf teabags from shop floor so that would just go straight in a teapot and with the decaf coffee pods, we'd use a separate pod holder (it has a name, can't remember) and had a specific bit on coffee machine for just decaf. I hope that eliminates enough traces of it. Completely shocked and baffled by coffee shops just not giving decaf, it's so bizarre! It's so easy to do too, a decaf is much quicker than grinding beans, dispensing them, pressing them etc.

Not sure if it's been suggested but

It has (many times...) I’d like to know which cafes you all go to which are so cool with you bringing your own teabags!

The 'bring your own' advice is nonsense, because most places will politely tell you to fuck off, and that's perfectly reasonable. Because they are selling teas, coffees etc and whether or not they offer decaff or take people's attention-seeking allergies seriously, they are under no obligation to provide free hot water and seating space for 'customers' who might have allergies or sensitivities but might be trying it on to save money.

I don't think OP is being unreasonable to expect a decaf if it is being offered? If they sell decaf then they should be serving it when asked.

I'm gluten free so I get the "just don't eat out then" thing but life really isn't that simple.

Because they are selling teas, coffees etc and whether or not they offer decaff or take people's attention-seeking allergies seriously

Brilliant, that sort of attitude leads to hospitalisation or even death to some people. Thanks for that.

As someone who could die if people didn’t take my non attention seeking allergies seriously, or make my kids seriously ill, this really makes me angry. I hate being an awkward customer and avoid consuming food out and about where possible but it’s still ridiculous to suggest people shouldn’t be able to get what they order if you sell it. Maybe companies should realise this, rather than bitching when a customer feels they have to bring their own (and under those circumstances I would pay for a tea but just ask for hot water)

I have to say I really struggle with the idea that an allergy - real or otherwise - could ever be ‘attention seeking’. What kind of attention do people hope to get from that, exactly?

Yes there are definitely people who give up wheat/dairy/etc. when they don’t have a serious medical need to but I still don’t get how they’re supposedly hoping for ‘attention’ in doing so.

I gave up dairy for a while to see if it made a difference to certain things health-wise and I don’t think anyone except my partner knew about it. I just... didn’t eat or drink dairy. Where is all this yearned-for ‘attention’ supposed to come from?!

I know I'm 6 years late to the party. But I'm going to put this anyway. If you ask for decaf, it should be decaf! All the people in here making excuses really annoys me, because they wouldn't give peanuts to someone with a peanut allergy! Caffeine affects my heart and makes me really poorly if I have too much of it, but I like my tea and coffee, I'm not going to give it up because people cba to follow the rules. But unfortunately, alot of people don't really care, so unfortunately you just have to triple check. 🥲 I avoid having it most of the time when I'm out now and opt for camomile tea, unless I really trust the place.

Yip I'm still angry six years later! If I asked for a ham toastie but received a cheese one because the cheese was nearer and everyone knows that ham toasties are shit anyway I'd be dumbfounded.

But asking for the advertised decaff option and expecting to be given it is the act of an attention seeker who should stick to peppermint tea, fookin hell mate.

I will say though that things have improved in two ways since 2019. Firstly, huge advances in recognising needs and preferences in the catering, and secondly I'm now post menopausal and could no longer give a teeny toss if the server or barista think I'm a dick for double and triple checking. Set yourselves free!