To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

[EveryDayImHustlin]

Ok before anyone says it, I know I could just not drink tea/coffee at all, and most of the time I don’t, but I love the taste and occasionally I really fancy a cup. And decaf exists for a reason right?

I’ve never been able to handle caffeine and it started giving me terrible headaches and migraines in my early twenties, so I gave it up for good. I can handle the small amounts in chocolate but have to be careful not to have too much (really dark chocolate especially can trigger something if I have more than a square or two) but tea/coffee/coke/Red Bull etc are completely out.

Anyway, on several occasions recently I’ve found myself ordering a decaf tea or coffee, triple checking with the person serving that it’s definitely decaf (usually getting an eye roll for doing so) and then winding up with a thumping headache an hour later anyway.

I was especially annoyed today because we ordered from a place that’s meant to be particularly good on allergens etc, and yet my ‘decaf’ coffee definitely wasn’t.

If you work in any kind of food service, AIBU to ask that you actually give someone decaf if they ask for it?!

I had a housemate 30 yrs ago who was gluten & dairy intolerant. She often reacted badly to fast food she had ordered, presumably from X-contamination. Yet she kept habit of ordering fast food when out & about rather than take her own food to be sure her food was safe. Or she could have bought safe things in supermarkets (we lived in big city with diverse food choices everywhere).

Her risk to take. Didn't look like fun.
Her problems after eating out were so frequent I didn't feel sympathy after a while. She could have planned better to reduce the risk.

or do you just feel confident that you’ll get soy because that’s what you’ve asked for?

This is the case for me, i just say "soya latte" or "almond milk latte" and its right.

Because I would just really be able to ask for decaf and know I’ll get decaf. But that just isn’t remotely guaranteed

Of course itd be perfect to just say decaff but it appears to not be working for you so try stating due to an allergy and see how that works. I think asking multiple times, triple checking and watching them make it isnt the right approach whereas stating the reason would work better and be less time wasted

So which cafes/chains are the best at honouring decaf orders?

My fiancé drinks decaf most of the time now (although he doesn’t suffer like me if he accidentally has caffeine) and he says Pret are really good, with the stickers that someone else mentioned upthread. I’ve never had coffee from there myself but guess they’re extra careful especially after all the allergy stuff in the news lately.

Maybe I need a permanent sticker on my travel mug saying ‘decaf please!’

I only get a latte maybe once every few weeks as a treat but might have to give that up sad

Come on now, you are being a bit dramatic constantly saying you will have to give it up. Ive said already multiple times just tell them the reason as that seems to work for a lot of people i know.

The problem is that 9/10 requests for decaf or sugar free syrup or skimmed milk are motivated by a general desire to “be healthy” and no particular harm will be done by lack of compliance. The correct solution is for all food outlets to train all their staff to treat all such requests as potentially health-critical and to treat them all as if non-compliance might land you in a Pulp Fiction situation.

In the meantime the answer for the OP is to flag up - “decaff - I have a serious reaction to caffeine btw so please do double check”. Tedious but should do the job.

Thank you GreytExpectations and suggestion noted but I still wonder if IABU to just expect decaf when I ask for decaf!

I personally don’t see how it’s less pressuring or patronising to say ‘please make sure it’s decaf as I have a medical condition’ rather than just saying ‘sorry can I just check, is this decaf?’ which is what I usually do, but apparently the latter is rude and will make the barista feel under more pressure?

The correct solution is for all food outlets to train all their staff to treat all such requests as potentially health-critical and to treat them all as if non-compliance might land you in a Pulp Fiction situation.

That’s exactly the point of my AIBU! While I welcome all the helpful suggestions on how to make sure I get decaf when I ask for decaf, they aren’t quite the point of my little rant in the first place which was simply to ask that people take it seriously (so that those of us who are caffeine sensitive don’t cause baristas everywhere to have nervous breakdowns with our repeated emphasis on ‘decaf’ )

I had to give up coffee away from home, I too need decaf and that's ok with me (sorta) I adore coffee but caffeine gives me migraines. No doubt about it.
I never even knew the purple handle or anything, I just assumed decaf would mean decaf. Apparently not.
So I stopped drinking outside, in Starbucks, Costa or Nero. Sod em. I need to be migraine free. So OP yanbu

My friend drinks decaf tea and always has them in her handbag, she brings her own. Do this.

3luckystars I can’t carry around my own personal espresso machine and milk frother though sadly 😭

Also, I rarely ever drink coffee and don't like it. If I am forced to have one, with no choice but to drink a coffee, the next time I pee, I can smell coffee from it.
It's so strong! I wonder does this happen everyone, and does the smell get stronger the more coffee you drink?

I have also noticed the speed of it, it would be there 10 minutes after drinking coffee. So the caffiene must be in your system lightening fast.

This seemed like the right place to bring that up.

(The same happens with sugarpuffs)

Baristas often do NOT listen to orders.
I always ask for a black, decaf coffee. 50% of the time they will either start adding milk, ask me if I want milk or if it’s waiter service, bring a jug of milk over to the table.

So forgive me if I then check that the coffee is actually decaf, because if you can’t get the milk right, then I don’t trust you to get the coffee right.

Caffeine gives me heart palpitations, so no, I don’t want it in my drink and after reading this thread, and the attitude of some of those serving coffee, I think I’ll stop going into coffee shops.

Yanbu at all. I'm really sensitive to caffeine and a coffee at lunchtime will stop me sleeping that night. It'll also make me react as if I've had a line of coke at work, talking quickly and making loads of typing errors.

Starbucks are 100% reliable, nobody else is. Pret have let me down recently. My top tip is to say decaffeinated instead of decaff. Really enunciate it, and listen as the server shouts the order to the barista.

Americans do this so much better. They have reliable decaff absolutely everywhere, and giving you caffeine against your wishes would horrify serving staff.

But in the UK so many people just think well decaff smells and tastes like ordinary coffee so it's no big deal.

I never order 'decaff' in restaurants because it never is. Reliable coffee chains only, and I watch them making it.

3luckystars yes I get the coffee smell in my pee too, even with decaf! Can’t say I’ve noticed it with sugar puffs though but the last time I had those was about 25 years ago.

Morris interesting that you’ve found it better in the US, that was definitely my experience too. Plus you can put cream in your coffee there which is the best! When I worked in the US my office always had a pot of filter coffee (with an orange handle of course) and a supply of half-and-half in the fridge and I bloody loved it.

I will try ‘DE-CAFF-EIN-ATED’ next time, thanks for the tip! It will either do the trick or piss the barista off so much that they’ll put whole coffee beans in my drink to kill me once and for all...

I work in an idependant small cafe and we have decaf ground coffee and tea. No problem making either of them.
If someone cant be bothered then they are in the wrong job.

If you see them doing it on purpose out of laziness op complain every time. They give the rest of us a bad name.

I have been drinking coffee for almost 15 years and i like it strong and ive never had my pee smell of coffee

I will try ‘DE-CAFF-EIN-ATED’ next time,

Please dont do this. Its rude and patronising. They are adults doing their jobs, no need for you to treat them like a child.

I drink very little caffeine, due to being a chronic insomniac - mostly just my breakfast coffee and maybe one other drink per day, whether that's tea, coffee, or coke. If decaff isn't on the menu, I order something else.

GreytExpectations

Apologies, I thought it was fairly obvious I was kidding. I don’t actually think baristas want to kill me either.

I have been drinking coffee for almost 15 years and i like it strong and ive never had my pee smell of coffee

My partner can’t smell it either and he has coffee every day. Maybe it either goes away or you stop being able to notice it if you drink it for a while?

And fucksake, if you're diabetic or otherwise needing sugar free syrup, you don't order drinks with syrup in!

I don’t understand your point PickAChew? If decaf is on the menu then presumably you expect to get it when you do order it?

Also, to me a daily coffee plus another tea/coffee/coke is not ‘very little caffeine’ as it sounds like loads to me but that’s as someone who doesn’t drink any. I know there are people out there who have cups of coffee by the hour though which kinda gives me a headache just thinking about it!

My husband can't smell coffee in his pee either. I haven't asked anyone else.

Years ago I asked a few people about the sugarpuffs and a few admitted the same thing.

I am highly sensitive to caffeine and even the slightest amount affects me greatly-think no sleep for over 24hrs and quite highly active(same reason why I don't consume any soft drinks either)
I do normally try to keep a few individual sachets in the bag of tea/coffee. I normally find the coffee shops to be quite on the ball when I ask for decaf.
I would say do carry some with you and invest in a really good travel mug-great for the environment and simpler for you in the long run.