To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

[EveryDayImHustlin]

Ok before anyone says it, I know I could just not drink tea/coffee at all, and most of the time I don’t, but I love the taste and occasionally I really fancy a cup. And decaf exists for a reason right?

I’ve never been able to handle caffeine and it started giving me terrible headaches and migraines in my early twenties, so I gave it up for good. I can handle the small amounts in chocolate but have to be careful not to have too much (really dark chocolate especially can trigger something if I have more than a square or two) but tea/coffee/coke/Red Bull etc are completely out.

Anyway, on several occasions recently I’ve found myself ordering a decaf tea or coffee, triple checking with the person serving that it’s definitely decaf (usually getting an eye roll for doing so) and then winding up with a thumping headache an hour later anyway.

I was especially annoyed today because we ordered from a place that’s meant to be particularly good on allergens etc, and yet my ‘decaf’ coffee definitely wasn’t.

If you work in any kind of food service, AIBU to ask that you actually give someone decaf if they ask for it?!

YANBU. Absolutely you should get what you order and not have to worry about it. I am extremely sensitive to caffeine, so much so that even the small amounts left in decaf coffee will affect me so I can only drink herbal teas and things these days. I used to work in coffee shops and can confirm that some staff simply do not take it seriously and an order for decaf was always received with an eye roll. More than once an order for decaf was sent out with caffeinated instead because the barista just couldn't be bothered. One time a gentleman requested decaf but the 17 year old making the orders couldn't be bothered and just gave him normal coffee, turns out the man had some kind of heart condition and ended up having such severe palpitations am ambulance had to be called. The staff member who served him wasn't even reprimanded, which shows you how seriously they took it all. They thought he was overreacting! Just awful.

I also have a few yorkshire decaf tea bags in my handbag.

Oh naff off with the whinyarse chat! It makes no difference if I want decaf because I have a specific health need or if I want it because its a preference. If your establishment claims to sell it, I ask for it, and you don't give me it because you think you know better then the whinyarse is you my friend.

It's not that I think OP is unreasonable to ask or expect. I just don't think it matters if she's U or not. The solution to her problem is not to chance it.

Also... a decaf latte still has 30 mg caffeine (says the link I gave). That's huge for someone quite sensitive. Best avoided completely.

Also... a decaf latte still has 30 mg caffeine (says the link I gave). That's huge for someone quite sensitive. Best avoided completely.

The link also said that a regular coffee has around 300mg. That’s a huge difference! Surely you can see that someone might be fine with 30 but react badly to 300?

Trust me, I know the difference and I know that decaf coffee and chocolate are fine for me. Maybe I I drank five cups of decaf coffee I’d feel the effects but not from just one.

I’m not meaning to have a go at you lljkk and I know you’re being helpful but it’s just quite irritating to repeatedly be told that you don’t know how to manage your own health when I’ve spend the past 15 years knowing exactly what my body can and can’t handle, and when there wouldn’t be a problem at all if someone could just give me what I order!

Her thread title is about making the food industry aware. That is the solution to her problem. And please stop saying that decaff has caffeine in it. I can drink unlimited decaff all day and sleep like a baby, but one regular coffee turns me into a gibbering idiot.

Caffeine in decaff isn't the point. Decaff exists, lots of people want it. Most cafes sell it. So give the decaff wanters the blimmin decaff or stop saying you sell it.

Really, the lengths some people will go to to say yabu are laughable.

'can I have a decaff please?'

'no, because there's a trace amount of caffeine in it so it's a silly choice'

Face palm emoji.

So service staff who are usually overworked and underpaid, don't always take what they see as preciousness very seriously

Unless they can miraculously tell when someone is being 'precious' or has a genuine medical reason for ordering something then they should just do what they are paid for and serve the customer what they asked for.
It's not up to them to decide someone shouldnt get GF or decaf or sugar or nuts just cos they think it won't matter. It's an incredibly dangerous route to go down.

It's not up to them to decide someone shouldnt get GF or decaf or sugar or nuts just cos they think it won't matter. It's an incredibly dangerous route to go down.

Separate issue but I also feel like nut allergies are being taken less seriously nowadays. Places are offering more vegan/dairy free/gluten free which is brilliant but these products often use nuts and my nut-allergic friends say they’re having far more close calls than they used to, as people seem to forget that nut allergies are still also ‘a thing!’

We were in a cafe once and there was an allergen label on this cake which said ‘eggs, dairy, gluten’ so my friend asked what the bits sprinkled on top of the cake were and was told that they were nuts. She asked why they weren’t listed on the allergens then and was given a mini lecture about how if she had an allergy she needed to let the staff know because otherwise they couldn’t take responsibility etc etc... really shocking!

I think yabu. If there is earl grey, decaf English Breakfast etc its no difference for them to put the right teabags in. I doubt believe they are getting it deliberately wrong, they wouldn't care enough about it. As others have said to be 100% sure just take your own bag.

YANBU OP. I have epilepsy which gets triggered by caffeine. I usually stick to rooibos or mint tea (not bothered about coffee anyway tbh) but have been caught out with caffeinated tea a couple of times when I've ordered decaf 'normal' tea.

I can get away with a small amount of caffeine but always double check when served.

I don't think it is patronising or micro- managing the situation to do so politely. I can briefly explain 'it's a medical thing' without giving the waiter my entire neurological history.

I doubt believe they are getting it deliberately wrong, they wouldn't care enough about it.

For the millionth time, I never suggested that they were doing it deliberately and ‘they wouldn’t care enough’ is literally the whole point of my post, so I’m struggling to understand how your conclusion is therefore that IABU

Do people who think IABU also think that vegetarians should take their own veggie burgers to burger places since they are obviously BU to expect that they won’t be served meat if they ask for a veggie burger?!

I am also quite surprised by all the people saying I should bring my own teabags. I have a strong feeling that if I posted ‘AIBU to bring my own decaf teabags to Starbucks?’ then I would get a lot of responses saying ‘YABU, either order decaf or drink something else, it’s rude to bring in your own’

I actually do carry some herbal teabags with me in case I’m at someone’s house and they don’t have any decaf or herbal, but would personally feel incredibly tacky asking for hot water! Especially in a place which actually does stock decaf.

And in any case my real weakness is gingerbread lattes and sadly I can’t carry decaf versions of those with me!

Absolutely! I have a little pukka tin designed for the purpose. I take teabags wherever I go. But cafes don't usually provide pots of hot water and there's no way MN would say they should!

I asked for hot water on a train once so I could use my own teabag and was told they couldn't. Suspect most cafes would say they same, they're not self catering.

Morris the coffee place at my student union had signs everywhere saying that they didn’t provide hot water, because so many students would try to bring in their own teabags to save money!

Sorry, I thought you were suggesting they were doing it on purpose.

I always have to double check that my coffee is decaff, often I go for the safe option and get a herbal tea instead as at least I know it's definitely safe. Caffeine is just one of many common foods & medicines I have had to eliminate as far as possible, as they can trigger my migraines, which look exactly like I'm having a major stroke. It's pretty much impossible to completely remove every trace of all of them though, as there are so many of them, my diet would be incredibly restricted & unbalanced if I removed them all completely. Not to mention boring.

YANBU.
IME a lot of places don't take allergens seriously which is not only dangerous to the allergy sufferers but to the server and business. Where I work we do, but I do have a couple of observations that may help.
Order it yourself, and make it clear. I've had quite a few times, people returning with things that I've 'made wrong'. Well I haven't actually, I've served what's been ordered, but your diet or decaff or dairy free was forgotten or omitted by the person ordering. But it's far easier to blame the server than the person who ordered taking the blame. This happens at least weekly, despite me asking "diet or full fat" and getting "whatever" as a response, to have a gobful from the recipient of the drink and having to change it. Only once when someone ordered 4 of the same meal, without asking for gluten free, and it becoming apparent on delivering the food it wasn't gf, has the person ordering actually owned up to their mistake. Still changed without an issue but it made a refreshing change!
We also offer almond and soya milk. I offer either when asked for dairy free, again if ordering for someone else, check first, don't just shrug and say whatever and then accuse me of not doing my job if I give almond and they wanted soya.
Secondly, society as a whole needs to start taking this seriously. When we have someone who has a severe nut allergy at a function or staying, we remove nuts from sale as a matter of course. I've been laughed at, complained about and humiliated for refusing to sell nuts when we've removed them for that reason. I still don't sell them but I don't think it's an appropriate response to not being able to buy a packet of peanuts!

Servers are also at the mercy of the chef too where food is concerned. Please don't just assume that they have made the mistake, if the chef makes the mistake, we carry the can for that too. We do check with them, but we don't test it before we serve it.

Also... a decaf latte still has 30 mg caffeine (says the link I gave). That's huge for someone quite sensitive. Best avoided completely

The link you posted says decaf coffee has between 7 and 30mg

So it probably averages at 18/19mg way less than the 300mg in in normal stuff.
I rarely drink coffee at all now but even I think somewhere between 7 and 30mg is an acceptable risk, and shouldnt set off a migraine.
Ok if it was deathly to me to drink it then yes I would avoid totally,. But I am human, I love coffee and I want to take the lowest risk. Decaf provides the lowest risk to me. If I get the decaf I ordered.

Perhaps you are sensitive to coffee in general and can not drink decaf anymore?

Perhaps you are sensitive to coffee in general and can not drink decaf anymore?

Trust me, I can drink decaf. I do wish people would stop doubting my knowledge of my own body I’m not the only one here who has said they can drink decaf with no problem but can’t tolerate the real stuff.

Decaf coffee made at home = fine
Decaf tea made at home = fine
Decaf coffee made for me by my mum who makes INCREDIBLY strong coffee also = fine
Decaf coffee from a coffee shop when I’ve made extra sure it’s definitely decaf = fine
Caffeine free coke = fine

I have drunk enough decaf for the past 15 years to KNOW the difference when I accidentally have the real stuff. Like others I can often actually taste the difference too, which is how I knew to stop drinking my iced coffee after a few sips yesterday (most annoying as it was ordered on Deliveroo and I only ordered it because there was a whacking great ‘would you like it decaf?’ button and I got very excited because I bloody love iced coffee!)

My DH has been caffeine free for a few years now and never has this problem. He would know as caffeine gives him heart palpitations. He does also have a non-dairy milk, so maybe combined they remember.

We don't really drink at chain coffee places as Starbucks and Costa coffee is shit. Nero is always fine though. We mostly drink at local, independent coffee places. (in Yorkshire)

I understand how you know how caffeinated will make your body feel but i honestly didn't think there was a difference in taste?

YABU. Ask for tea if you can't hold caffeine. Decaf is not caffeine free, just lower in caffeine than a standard coffee.