To question whether it is us or our neighbours who are being unreasonable

[ThespianTendencies]

DS - 12 is a keen musician. He likes to play piano. He also likes playing on his Xbox. Three times in recent weeks the neighbours have complained about noise. First time was about 945pm and ds was playing piano in the dining room (we are semi detached). The piano is on the wall that does not back onto their dining room wall. He was playing with gusto but I could barely hear him from the lounge so not unreasonably loud imho. The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead. This happened again about 2 weeks later when ds was on piano - again it was not late; 10pm, within the reasonable time to be able to play music in your own home I would have thought. Then last night, neighbour texted to ask if ds was Ok as he could hear screaming from upstairs. I said I was sure he was OK as he was on his Xbox playing Fortnight and could I hear him laughing and chatting with his friends online. Again, this was 1030pm so not ludicrously late and I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am. I did go to ds and told him to quieten down of course, which he did. I totally appreciate that we must be mindful of our neighbours, we have lived side by side for nearly 9 years. I made no comments or complaints when their young baby was crying through the night or when their two girls wake every morning during weekends and holidays alike at 630am. It is family life and having had two children myself, I understand it. I have made sure that ds has quietened down every time but I am not sure that they are being very fair. If it was past 11pm or early hours of the morning then fair enough, but this seems like we are being made to shut up! Your thoughts please.

To be honest I think playing musical instruments should be kept to playing during the day and not past 8pm.
People can’t help the volume of instruments and it can be annoying. My elderly parents had neighbours that would play the piano in the daytime and let their toddlers bang on it at the crack of dawn. Then early evening the mum would play. It drove my poor mum up the wall.
When living in close proximity to our neighbours we all have to mindful of the noise we make.

Three doors away I have a woman who has her 3 grandsons every holiday and the screaming in the garden is unbearable and next door they have people round and they are in the garden making loads of noise (kids and adults) but never too late. It really drives me mad but how can I complain when all they are doing is having a bit of fun.

Defo being unreasonable.

We live in an apartment, and are driven nuts by uncaring noisy neighbours.

Here in the flats, we hear every footstep.

Playing a loud piano after 9 and Xbox worse aftern10pm. How rude.

Forget that she works and obvs has to be a bed early. The Mrs Diana similar shift and was in bed by 10, but often by 9.

At his age, DS should be settling down for bed after 9, he'll have school the next day.

In a couple years he'll be wanting quiet while he starts to revise for exams

Oh god nightmare. I crash out at 9.30.

We’re detached but I wouldn’t let my dad play her violin after 9.30. My son plays loudly on the PS4 as well but again he’s not allowed on it that late.

I would not like to live next door to u. Playing piano / guitar at 9,30pm during week when ur neighbour is up at 5am is totally selfish. U should hve bought a detached hse. U are totally in the wrong!!

My DS is a professional musician. No way would I ever have let him play after 9pm or before 8am

YABVU

I'd say after 8pm is too late for musical instruments and recommend he's quieter on games.

Sorry if your son was playing that late I’d be waking the kids up very early and making sure they are extra loud to wake you up and interrupt your down time the way your son has done to them!
I had a neighbor who’s son was constantly on the Xbox til early hours shouting and screaming waking my child & even the parents who had friends round and got very loud with the music (in the weekdays not weekends) all stopped after one night they would not be quiet I even went and knocked the door (they wouldn’t open) my daughter was awake all night DP hadn’t been to sleep and had to leave for work at 4.45 all went quiet at 5.30... I decided to have a hours sleep , took my DD to my grandmothers house so she could catch up on sleep then return home and plug in my home surround system link all the speakers even bedroom ones and blast out AC/DC (left on repeat!) soon heard their son shouting about the noise and the father moaning in the kitchen I shouted back and laughed then left my house still with music on and went to grandmothers for a lovely snooze and returned 6 hours later

My neighbour and I seem to have an unwritten agreement that any noisy stuff is done and dusted not long after 9pm. That said, if I could play the piano, it's possible that I would not put it in the same category. Music etc certainly gets turned down a notch after 9, and if I'm watching a noisy film the same applies.

It's hard when you live in a semi-detached, nobody really wants to hear next door's tv etc. A friend of mine who keeps parrots had sound-proofing on the party wall, which helped. Perhaps you could consider something like this if you are staying long-term.

A screaming baby is hard to hear, but pretty uncontrollable, loud games, shouting at a tv and playing music are things that can be managed more considerately IMHO.

I can’t get over a 12 year old not being in bed by 10pm and it being classed as ‘not late’ it’s my normal bedtime and I am mid thirties!

YABU - just get him electric piano and headphones

This has got to be a (well written) reverse - surely no-one thinks it's reasonable to swap piano for guitar (without headphones) when they've been asked to keep it down?

Despite 11pm generally being regarded as the absolute cutoff, I think playing piano with gusto at 10pm in a semi is taking the piss tbh.

Yeah yabu

My upstairs neighbour (music teacher so good) plays various instruments during the day and I love it and often sing along if she is playing something I know(and that has words). If she did it at ten pm I would wrap the instrument round her head but she wouldn’t because she is not a twat.

Honestly, I'd ignore them. They complain about your noise because they feel entitled. You (as a polite neighbour) have put up with years of their kid noise, but because you've never complained they feel they have the upper hand. The reality is your noise isn't going to breach any noise nuisance levels. At worst they might be a bit frosty but (as someone who loathes their neighbours and cannot WAIT to move to a detached house) so what?

When my DC were young I kept them quiet, they didn't kick balls over the fence or scream and shout outside or indoors for that matter. We kept diy noise strictly to sociable hours. And to what end? Did that get me peace and quiet in return? Did it fuck. One neighbour regularly does DIY from 7am any day of the week and for 4-5 hours at a time, constant drilling. The other side are even more pig ignorant, and are constantly yelling/ whistling/ screaming (so loudly that even though there is a 6ft gap between our houses, I can hear them with all the windows closed) They have allowed their kids to break my fence and climb into my garden (and verbally abused me when I told the kids to leave). I can't use my garden because the kids are constantly peering over the fence or through holes they've made in it. Or screeching like banshees. Not to mention the drug dealing benefit scrounging neighbour who threatened to thump me after telling my kids to watch themselves. Twat.

So now I think fuck it. Why on earth should I show any consideration for any of them? .So I don't worry about what noise I make, whether It's vacuuming at 6am or 10pm, or my DS playing late night X box. I simply don't care any more. It's been quite liberating.

YABU 8pm is too late.

You would drive me nuts and I wouldn't be sending politics texts to let you know.

*polite

l used to work early shifts, when l got up at 5am. Someone playing the piano or video games at the times you've mentioned would have driven me mad.

Sorry but I think you're being unreasonable.

I'd be really pissed off if I'd asked you to get your son to be quiet and he simply swapped from piano to guitar.

I also think 10.30pm on a week night is very late for a 12 year old.

I think we're obviously very different people as I'd never dream of doing anything you've written in your OP.

YABU, I think. If it is keeping your neighbour awake it is keeping your neighbour awake and the considerate thing to do would be to have your son stop playing the piano and shouting into his xBox headset at 9.

Why do the really unreasonable OPs flounce

YABU

would class any 'noise' after 9pm as late, particularly in the circs you've outlined. If you've lived next door harmoniously for 8 years, and they have complained politely, I would respect their request and keep the noise down. As pps have said, invest in some headphones.

After 9pm too late. And it's happening repeatedly.

A baby crying is different from a choice to play the piano. I would think your walls are very thin or the noise is very loud. Personally, I think
9.45 and playing piano is very late. This is coming from a musical family. We have an electric piano and wear headphones after 9pm.

As for games at 10.30pm, that is late for a 12 year old. I am surprised. Most people are in bed and/or preparing for bed. I wonder if you might have other issues in the home if they are playing and up that late on a weekday.