To question whether it is us or our neighbours who are being unreasonable

[ThespianTendencies]

DS - 12 is a keen musician. He likes to play piano. He also likes playing on his Xbox. Three times in recent weeks the neighbours have complained about noise. First time was about 945pm and ds was playing piano in the dining room (we are semi detached). The piano is on the wall that does not back onto their dining room wall. He was playing with gusto but I could barely hear him from the lounge so not unreasonably loud imho. The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead. This happened again about 2 weeks later when ds was on piano - again it was not late; 10pm, within the reasonable time to be able to play music in your own home I would have thought. Then last night, neighbour texted to ask if ds was Ok as he could hear screaming from upstairs. I said I was sure he was OK as he was on his Xbox playing Fortnight and could I hear him laughing and chatting with his friends online. Again, this was 1030pm so not ludicrously late and I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am. I did go to ds and told him to quieten down of course, which he did. I totally appreciate that we must be mindful of our neighbours, we have lived side by side for nearly 9 years. I made no comments or complaints when their young baby was crying through the night or when their two girls wake every morning during weekends and holidays alike at 630am. It is family life and having had two children myself, I understand it. I have made sure that ds has quietened down every time but I am not sure that they are being very fair. If it was past 11pm or early hours of the morning then fair enough, but this seems like we are being made to shut up! Your thoughts please.

10pm is taking the piss. I'd be fuming. Are there children next door?

YABVU. Almost a unanimous verdict on this thread! So, what will you do about it now you know?

If i were your neighbour, I'd be annoyed. I would expect musical instruments and loud noises to be stopped at 8pm. 10pm is ridiculous. Sound proof your house if you want to make noises until late.

Are you for real OP? I’d go ape shit living next to you, have some consideration for others ffs.

My DS plays drums and when I bought him a kit (electronic with headphones) I popped round to my neighbours and stood in her lounge whilst he played. You could hear the thud from the base, but nothing else. I have now insulated the base underneath. He is not allowed to practise after 8pm and no PlayStation after 9pm.

I'd be pretty pissed off if I was your neighbour, as you have no consideration for them. You need to go round and apologise and come to some compromise regarding times for playing.

Sounds late to me

OP think about your neighbour before yourself. Ask your son to play more quietly. It's just the kind thing to do. Just be neighbourly.

Agree with everyone else.

Most people I know go to bed at 10pm. I really wouldn't expect to hear my neighbours after 9 at all.

I think YABU, and that's as the parent of two keen musician DCs. Mine play brass and are decent players but they don't play after 8.30pm unless they've got full-on practice mutes in (which is hard work and very little sound comes out). The only music-practice-related texts we've had from neighbours is a list of requests from a couple. One NDN did say they prefer it if they didn't have to hear the instruments after 8pm but that's not always possible by the time DCs have returned from after school activities and as that family play extremely loud music all day and past 11pm, both inside the house all year round and in the garden throughout the summer,
we took it with a rather large pinch of salt.

Too late as all have said and he shouldn't be on screens that late either. Won't help his sleep

I grew up in a semi detached. The neighbours ' bed backed onto our bathroom. My childhood was punctuated with my Mum saying "Ooh think about Rita!" every time we used the bathroom. We were not allowed (by Mum) to flush or run a bath after 9pm. Once I was playing the recorder loudly downstairs and Rita complained she couldn't hear her TV. It's just polite to consider others.

It's too late. I won't allow DCs to play the piano after 8pm as our neighbours are entitled to have relaxing evenings too, especially if they have to be up early.

I think after 11PM it would be unreasonable, but not beforehand. If they are so concerned tell them to report you to the council, lets see how far it gets them.

Not sure why a 12 year old is up til 10:30pm tbh ...

This has got to be a reverse because no one would post this thinking they are remotely reasonable. It's so fucking annoying when people do this.

This has got to be a reverse because no one would post this thinking they are remotely reasonable.

Well judging by a couple of OP’s other threads I don’t think it is a reverse.

I understand where you're coming from OP, ignore the nastier replies.
I'm an owl so 9:30/ 10 isn't late to me at all to practice. However to the majority of people, it is. I resentfully don't practice after 9:30ish. Noise happens, if your DS practiced at 4pm there might be a shift worker asleep etc but only those on bog standard 9-5 schedules get consideration...still, I'd limit him for the sake of neighbour relations.

YABU and inconsiderate. Get him an electric piano and headphones. Anything after 9pm is not on, especially if you know your neighbours have to be up early and also have young children. Personally I'd be mindful of the children's bedtime and there would be no noise after that.

This is far too late if you live in a semi-detached property. I'd count any loud music practice after 9 as unreasonable. Why can't your DS practice earlier? I'm very mindful of not disturbing neighbours. It's common courtesy.

This is why we swapped our upright for a digital piano when we moved to a semi detached house. Piano is mine and DC's hobby, not my neighbours. Why should they be disturbed by something that we want to do, particularly as they, like OP's neighbour, get up very easily for work.

OP, if you have the space, invest in a digital as well as your upright so that when DS practices in the evening he can use headphones.

*early, not easily!

If its loud enough to disturb your neighbour to the point he has to text you to request volume reduction, then of course you're being unreasonable. Especially if your neighbour has to be up at 5am.

At 10.30pm, your son does not need to be screaming on the xbox. I have a 12 year old and I know how loud they can get.

My son plays the drums. He has an electric kit, but the base vibrations do carry, and we live on the 2nd floor. Our rule is: no drum after 8pm and before 9am.

I'd complain if someone played piano at 10pm.

YABVU

Your poor neighbours.

Why is he not asleep, let alone playing music and computer games