Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To question whether it is us or our neighbours who are being unreasonable

373 replies

ThespianTendencies · 30/05/2019 13:25

DS - 12 is a keen musician. He likes to play piano. He also likes playing on his Xbox. Three times in recent weeks the neighbours have complained about noise. First time was about 945pm and ds was playing piano in the dining room (we are semi detached). The piano is on the wall that does not back onto their dining room wall. He was playing with gusto but I could barely hear him from the lounge so not unreasonably loud imho. The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead. This happened again about 2 weeks later when ds was on piano - again it was not late; 10pm, within the reasonable time to be able to play music in your own home I would have thought. Then last night, neighbour texted to ask if ds was Ok as he could hear screaming from upstairs. I said I was sure he was OK as he was on his Xbox playing Fortnight and could I hear him laughing and chatting with his friends online. Again, this was 1030pm so not ludicrously late and I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am. I did go to ds and told him to quieten down of course, which he did. I totally appreciate that we must be mindful of our neighbours, we have lived side by side for nearly 9 years. I made no comments or complaints when their young baby was crying through the night or when their two girls wake every morning during weekends and holidays alike at 630am. It is family life and having had two children myself, I understand it. I have made sure that ds has quietened down every time but I am not sure that they are being very fair. If it was past 11pm or early hours of the morning then fair enough, but this seems like we are being made to shut up! Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 30/05/2019 22:07

And the op disappears. This happens too offer at the moment.

LateVictorian · 30/05/2019 22:27

I wonder if she has gone to apologise to the neighbours Grin

cccameron · 30/05/2019 22:35

I'm up at 5am for work everyday and it's absolutely brutal. If I was being kept awake at 10pm by screaming /guitar playing /piano playing with gusto, I think I would lose the plot! Certainly wouldn't be held responsible for my actions.

BuildBuildings · 30/05/2019 22:38

10 pm is irritating to be making much noise. Sorry but YABU

teachermcteachface · 30/05/2019 22:40

Ooooopppppp where are yoooooou

crazycatgal · 30/05/2019 23:01

Of course YABU, anyone decent would realise that you just don't do loud activities like playing the piano after around 9pm on a weekday out of respect for your neighbours. Sometimes I'm that tired after work that I'm asleep for 9.30pm.

EL8888 · 30/05/2019 23:37

YABVU. Switching from drums to guitar when asked to be quiet?! It's rather rude / aggravating. Plus too late to be so loud with neighbours. Our neighbour plays the piano but never plays it late ever. I think it's a bit of the "l am awake everyone so in the world should be awake" which is rather self absorbed and rude

Chocarocker · 30/05/2019 23:43

I would say that 10pm is too late. I would have a 9pm cut off time.
Also I think in the case of a screaming baby it isn’t really controllable whereas the piano playing etc is.

Sewrainbow · 30/05/2019 23:51

10pm is too late in a semi or terrace house.

I'm in bed at 10pm most days, I wouldn't be happy if dc were still awake then, especially if talking on x box to friends.

HollyGoLoudly1 · 31/05/2019 00:11

2 issues:
1 - yes, YABU. I play piano, guitar and flute. Wouldn't think of playing after 9. Even if the neighbours are still up, I couldn't think of anything more annoying than listening to someone (especially a child) practise an instrument for the hour or so of peace before I go to bed. Or trying to put my son to bed while someone is hammering out Mozart next door. I assume fom your post that their kids are young? A crying infant is completely incomparable to a 12 year old playing games/instruments, I'm genuinely surprised by the comparison.

2 - a 12 year old shouldn't be up gaming at 11pm. I see it every day at school. Zombie children who need a nap by 11am because of bloomin Fortnite. Do your kid and his teachers a favour and unplug him at a reasonable time. 2 problems solved with one stone.

thisisadistraction · 31/05/2019 00:14

Why are people saying 'oh thespian again'? She's clearly being unreasonable here, but her other threads look pretty normal. What am I missing.

cccameron · 31/05/2019 06:03

Switching from drums to guitar when asked to be quiet

I don't think there's any way you could have pissed your neighbours off more is there. Staggeringly rude, aggressive behaviour. Maybe buy him a drum kit for Xmas eh

DameSquashalot · 31/05/2019 06:13

I agree that this must be a reverse.

user1480880826 · 31/05/2019 06:22

I’m glad I don’t live next door to you.

sparklefarts · 31/05/2019 06:32

You are. Massively. 10/10.30 is too late for piano playing and screaming. Obviously.

Iris1654 · 31/05/2019 06:35

Clearly you think it’s ok because you are listening to TV in another room.
The neighbour is in a quiet house trying to sleep, the noise will be very loud.

It’s not ok.

wombat1a · 31/05/2019 07:29

Far too late, I would set 8pm as the cut-off for such loud things.

Ravenclawclassof84 · 31/05/2019 07:33

I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am.

That's very selfish, isn't it? They're not even asking you to tiptoe, they're just asking you not to allow your DS to keep them awake.

wonderinwhy · 31/05/2019 07:34

YABU.
9pm cut off for musical instruments and screaming at computer games and why isn’t he in bed and quiet by 10pm!! Doesn’t he have school in the morning!!

MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee · 31/05/2019 08:08

Yes you are definitely being unreasonable.

viques · 31/05/2019 09:02

Very unreasonable. Assuming your child gets home from school by 5.00 at the latest he has four hours before 9.00 to eat, do homework and practise piano, guitar , play games. By 9.00 he should be having a shower and getting ready for bed.

Your job as a parent is to monitor his time and teach him not be such an unthinking entitled brat.

Damntheman · 31/05/2019 09:16

I'm sorry OP, you're the unreasonable one here. I'm a professional musician and I know that after 9pm is WAY too late to be making audible practicing noise on my instruments. Perhaps you could look into getting an electric piano instead of the old school one, DS could plug headphones into that and play whenever he likes without bothering anyone. Such it is with terraced living.

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 31/05/2019 17:29

Are you freaking serious right now???
Thankfully everyone is letting you know how ridiculous you are being.SMH...

26mcjrfm · 31/05/2019 17:33

I’m in my bed by 10pm most nights and would be disgruntled at hearing the piano playing at that time. Also telling him to stop playing piano so he turned to the guitar? Practice could be changed to after school or after dinner.

And comparing it to their young babies being up during the night - you can hardly be serious? That is beyond a parent or child’s ability to control. YABU.

pollymere · 31/05/2019 17:42

It's polite to not play the piano after 9pm. And your 12yo shouldn't be playing on his X Box that late either. Really he should be in bed asleep or reading.

Swipe left for the next trending thread