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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To question whether it is us or our neighbours who are being unreasonable

373 replies

ThespianTendencies · 30/05/2019 13:25

DS - 12 is a keen musician. He likes to play piano. He also likes playing on his Xbox. Three times in recent weeks the neighbours have complained about noise. First time was about 945pm and ds was playing piano in the dining room (we are semi detached). The piano is on the wall that does not back onto their dining room wall. He was playing with gusto but I could barely hear him from the lounge so not unreasonably loud imho. The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead. This happened again about 2 weeks later when ds was on piano - again it was not late; 10pm, within the reasonable time to be able to play music in your own home I would have thought. Then last night, neighbour texted to ask if ds was Ok as he could hear screaming from upstairs. I said I was sure he was OK as he was on his Xbox playing Fortnight and could I hear him laughing and chatting with his friends online. Again, this was 1030pm so not ludicrously late and I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am. I did go to ds and told him to quieten down of course, which he did. I totally appreciate that we must be mindful of our neighbours, we have lived side by side for nearly 9 years. I made no comments or complaints when their young baby was crying through the night or when their two girls wake every morning during weekends and holidays alike at 630am. It is family life and having had two children myself, I understand it. I have made sure that ds has quietened down every time but I am not sure that they are being very fair. If it was past 11pm or early hours of the morning then fair enough, but this seems like we are being made to shut up! Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
boobirdblue · 31/05/2019 17:44

I would encourage your son's piano playing and suggest the neighbours turn the volume up on their tv.

But the neighbour was trying to sleep!

Supermum29 · 31/05/2019 17:49

I used to play piano as a teen. There is absolutely no way I’d have played at the times you mention that’s unreasonable! Early evening, during the day no problem but I’d say anything after 7:30/8pm when typically people want to start winding down for the evening is not on.

Thisisnotreallymyname · 31/05/2019 17:50

And that’s the reason I moved from a semi to a detached house !

NicolaC17 · 31/05/2019 17:51

Personally I think after 9pm is too late when it comes to something you know may disturb the neighbours.

Angel2702 · 31/05/2019 17:53

Too late for a 12 year old to be up let alone making noise. 9pm I make sure mine are winding down and going to bed not making noise. I’d not he impressed at noise at 10pm at night.

Innersmellbow · 31/05/2019 17:53

Op is taking the piss one way and another.

Doesntlooklikeanythingtome · 31/05/2019 17:53

OP? Any response?

RB68 · 31/05/2019 17:55

YABU piano playing travels and I would say a 9pm deadline given it is actually a child playing and they should be on wind down not playing with gusto at 9.45pm

With regard to fortnite and x box playing he needs to be more considerate and again 10pm at the very latest and certainly NO shouting and screaming, and especially when you know he is a 5 am starter for work - you need give and take and this is the give bit

Purpletigers · 31/05/2019 18:03

It’s too late and I’d complain too if you were my neighbour .

cdtaylornats · 31/05/2019 18:05

Remember your neighbour gets up at 5 so if you keep being noisy, you'll be getting up then too.

TigerTooth · 31/05/2019 18:05

I think 10pm is fine - after that quieten down, people have no idea what real noisy neighbours are.

pomers · 31/05/2019 18:10

10.00-10.30 too late imo. I also think this is far too late for a child to be on an X-Box

saraclara · 31/05/2019 18:11

I would hate you SO much, and want to move.
Playing the piano with gusto in a semi would be annoying at any time of day. But after 9 is seriously unneighbourly.

I play the piano, but deliberately bought an electric piano with weighted keys, so I could play without worrying about disturbing other people. I can either use headphones or just turn down the volume a bit.

OxanaVorontsova · 31/05/2019 18:11

YABVU - but I suspect you know this as you have disappeared OP

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 31/05/2019 18:14

YABU
If you’ve got issues with them that are within their control then speak to them about it.

nuxe1984 · 31/05/2019 18:17

10pm is too late for your 12 year old DS to be up anyway! Regardless of how much noise he's making ...

Bennyandthejetsssss · 31/05/2019 18:20

11pm to 7am are the quiet hours. Nothing can be done outside of it. I’m not sure why your neighbours’ early start is your problem; if they’ve had screaming kids they know right? What are they going to do when there’s are 12yo? Enrol them in mime?
They sound pretty miserable to be honest.
There’s decency, and there’s entitlement..
I wouldn’t expect the neighbourhood to revolve around me. Your DS is hardly hanging out on street corners or vandalising his property!
YANBU

Mangosorbetrocks · 31/05/2019 18:23

Is this for real? Of course YABVU!

Rtruth · 31/05/2019 18:24

Defo you!

Firstly 10 is very late for a 12 year old to be up, but understand some are morning and some are night owls, so my opinion is only that.

However after 9 I would say any loud noise, like a piano, is taking the piss. If they were out playing rave music at 5am you’d be annoyed but to then it’s not too early.

Why not play piano earlier???

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 31/05/2019 18:31

This has to be a reverse surely! The ‘I didn’t complain when their baby was crying’ just topped it off.

If not op yanbu.

M4ndixxx · 31/05/2019 18:32

Wow.. I'm so pleased I DONT live next door to any of you.. legally you can make as much loud & persistent noise between 7am & 11pm.. I have neighbours exactly the same as yours my son plays xbox & chats to mates hes 14 sorry but I cant change the volume of his voice it's just broken so it's quite deep..my neighbours complain about his voice, us walking up & downstairs, doors opening & closing etc blah.. because he HAS to get up for fishing at 6am.. joke.. I'm very considerate & make my son come off xbox at 11pm weekdays but nothing is good enough..all his friends stay on later it's the age we live in nowadays lol.. live your lives for you & your kids not your neighbours!!!!

Nik2015 · 31/05/2019 18:39

YANVU....!!!!

Nik2015 · 31/05/2019 18:39

YABVU even!!!

RB68 · 31/05/2019 18:48

live your lives for you and not your neighbours - and this is why neighbour relations are at an all time low, noise abatement is as busiy as and there is alot of angst caused by people just being downright inconsiderate of others.

Lovebeingmama · 31/05/2019 18:53

Yep YABU!
They shouldn’t be hearing your sons deliberate noise at this time. It’s not the same as a newborn crying ffs!
I’ve lived next door to a piano player, a reasonable one that played some beautiful music but during the day and not all day. It was never an issue.
Playing late at night while the ndn is trying to relax/sleep is another thing altogether.
Stop being a nuisance neighbour!

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