If a 7 year old child disclosed this to you...

[redredbrine]

AIBU for quick traffic

what would your immediate actions be?

• they are scared of their dad
• they don't want to go to their dads because he shouts
• their dad is aggressive and angry and breaks things when they do something wrong
• that they're sad that daddy broke up with his girlfriend because that means they have to be on their own with him
• that their dad pinned them down with his foot and wouldn't let them move even though they were upset
• that they are scared to talk to mummy about it because they don't want daddy to shout at mummy (they're not together)
• daddy breaks their toys when he's angry
• daddy uses swear works
• daddy says nasty things about mummy
• I wish I didn't have to go there

If in a school, pass this to your safe guarding lead immediately.

Report to school or your local authority multi agency safeguarding hub. Record everything the child has said. Do not ask leading questions.

It would depend on my relationship with said child.
If I knew their school - I would speak to their safeguarding officer and mention I was worried for them.
If it was a family friend I would tell the child’s mother and explain it had made me feel uncomfortable and like an SS report was needed.
I would 100% log it with SS though. It might be nothing, it might be something.

I suppose it depends what your relationship is, but as a professional working with children I would have spoken to the mother and referred to social services.

That poor child.

I intentionally didn't ask any leading questions. She told me this all off her own back. It's like she was desperate to talk about it but is trying to protect her mum so won't speak to her.

I would call social services, protecting the child is your only route. Ss should investigate. The child confided in you but in order to help, you need to make those in authority aware.

If you are a professional follow safeguarding guidelines
If you think you can, talk to the mum. Otherwise you could call nspcc helpline for advice

God, just reading this made me feel sad. Absolutely report to SS and/or school if possible, and definitely speak to the childs mother.

I'm not a professional. I'm babysitting. She's a lovely kid. Not one I would think is lying and she seems genuinely distressed. I will definitely talk to her mum.

Can you say in what capacity? Child's friend or relative or in a professional setting?

I'm so sorry about the fact you and DC are going through this.

My immediate action would be to stop any upcoming contact and let child know they don't have to go to the next contact, they have done the right thing by telling you, they should never be scared of talking to mummy about things and they don't need to worry about mummy.

If they are asking you if they will ever have to go back that's a tricky one, because my understanding is that courts are still in favour of keeping contact going in questionable circumstances so perhaps it is best to be honest and say you don't know but you will do all you can to protect them.

Next action I think would be to contact social services, and school for support. Also a good family solicitor with experience of domestic abuse or, if you can't afford an appointment, Rights of Women helpline.

I would call nspcc for advice too

Sorry I'm an incredibly slow typer so when I posted mine I'd only read yours.

The child obviously trusts you a great deal. What a wonderful nanny you must be.

*babysitter

@OutInTheCountry I'm a friend. Don't know her mum THAT well but close enough to be looking after her daughter whilst she's at work.

I would talk to the school. They will know where and whom to talk to. Poor child.

School , SS and their Mother .

Thanks @BurpingFrog - she's a lovely girl. I've only looked after her 7/8 times over the last 3 sets of holidays. I feel awful for her. I've met her dad and none of it surprises me.

Talk to her mum first
Hopefully she can do something and cease contact . She should seek the advice of a solicitor and then I assume the courts would get cafcass/ss involved

Depends who you are

I think you need to contact Social Services directly, through your local council. Regardless of whether you speak to Mum about it. She may brush it under the carpet and this needs investigating by the appropriate people.

I have reported a child I was worried about to SS before (a neighbour). I wasn't actually sure there was a risk / abuse, but I had some reason to believe there was and SS said I did the right thing letting them know so they could investigate. They didn't say who had reported.

I would write down exactly what she's said and show mum when she gets home

Is there a court order in place?
I’m in a very similar position with my DS age 5.
The advice from SS was go back to solicitor.
Solicitor said court unlikely to stop contact on this basis.
I would absolutely want you to tell me though, and for you to report to SS, to help with an audit trail when/if I need to return to court.

The court system fails the children of abusive parents so badly upon separation.

I'd tell the mum that you are informing social services about what the little girl has told you