To ask when children should use sex assigned toilets?

[newjobnerves]

I have 2 sons, we were at the cinema today and the 3 of us went to the toilet. They're 8 and 5. Today was the first day I felt uncomfortable with him being in the female toilets, I've never even thought for a second about it before, but it was a small toilet and there was a queue and he was stood next to a smaller girl and I realised how big and out of place he looked! I ended up sending him into the men's so he didn't have to queue and my DH was waiting outside (he didn't need to go otherwise they usually go with him)

Anyway this is a rather convoluted (and lighthearted!) thread asking when do you think girls and boys should use the "correct" toilets? I'm not a helicopter parent by any stretch but I do get a bit a nervous at the thought of him being out of sight if DH isn't with us. We are swimming tomorrow, DH is working and I believe 8 is the age at our local swimming pool.

I think boys should use men's toilets from age 7 - this means either with parent outside the toilet door, or with a parent (of either sex) escorting the boy into the men's toilets and waiting.

Whenever they are able to use the tpilet independently and doesn't need assistance.

I think boys should use men's toilets from age 7 - this means either with parent outside the toilet door, or with a parent (of either sex) escorting the boy into the men's toilets and waiting.

What??? Have I misread or do you think it's better for a grown woman to go into the men's toilets than a 7 year old boy to come into the women's?

In our gym it says boys are allowed in womens dressing room until age 8. My son was always big for his age but I still didn’t want him to go to the men’s on his own. I imagine it’s the same for toilets.

About 8.

My son is 6, and has autism/adhd. We will use the disabled toilet as he can't be left to go in to toilets safely. My NT kids probably 8.

Usual cut off I’ve seen on signs is 8

About 9 or 10 - though prepare for mn response that 3 year olds should go by themselves into a men’s toilet!

My d's is 5 but the height of a 7 year old. I do notice we get the odd look now we never used to before but there is no way I am sending my 5 year old on his own and o not going in the men's. So he's with me until I am comfortable with him going by Himself, I would assume around 9ish

Whenever they are able to use the tpilet independently and doesn't need assistance.

My boys have been doing this since 3, no way I would let them go alone then! What would the concern be in terms of a 3 year old in the women's toilets?

My eldest 2 started going alone (well together) from about 7&8. I think because there are 2 of them and I can send them together it's easier though.

If you aren't comfortable with him going alone you could use the parent and child one so you can go in with him.

If DH was there he should’ve just taken both into the gents.

If they have a parent the same sex as them with them then it just makes sense for kids to use the toilets for their sex.

I think kids should usually go into the right toilet from about age 6 or 7

Probably 8 or 9 depending on their levels of confidence. If there's additional needs then beyond 8 or 9 the disabled toilet should be used rather than the ladies in my opinion.

Yes I think I will from now when DH is with us, when he's going they'll go with him, it's just not something I've ever thought about before, I guess they just look like babies still to me (until I did look at him differently today!) and as DH didn't need to go and I did it was just natural for them to come in with me.

With close adult supervision only at any age.

A relative was sexually assaulted by a stranger while alone in a public, very busy toilet aged 8.

So never alone.

About 8, but circumstances differ, busy shopping centre full of dad's and sons is different to a deserted park

I don't understand why your DH didn't take them to the men's.

I have no issue whatsoever with a boy coming into the women’s toilets with his mum. Of any age. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest- if they’re with their mum they either need help, have special needs or look older than they might be. If they’re accompanied I really can’t see an issue.

My son is 7 but looks about 9. He has autism and learning disabilities and hates the hand dryers so where we can we use the disabled toilets but often they are busy or there is a queue so sometimes if it’s quiet we will nip in and use the women’s toilets with his ear defenders on.

If they have a parent the same sex as them with them then it just makes sense for kids to use the toilets for their sex...well duh!!!!

If a boys mum is with him I really don’t care what age a boy is in the women’s

@RosaWaiting see my previous post. He normally does, but he didn't need to go and I literally just didn't even think about it, they're my children and I was going to the toilet and it's just the way it's been for years, the kids go with the parent who is going to the toilet. As I say I've seen it in a different light today and from now on DH will go with them regardless of whether he's going or not, it's just been a bit of a light bulb moment today I guess?

My elder DD is nearly 8 now and I'm starting to wonder about what she should do when out with DH. I feel she's a bit too old to go in the Men's, but DH can not enter the female toilets if she doesn't reappear in an expected timeframe. Not a problem where we live currently as most toilets tend to be cafes and don't seem as busy as UK ones, where you often have to queue.

I admit I'm a bit more anxious over this as both DDs have a history of locking themselves in toilet cubicles.

I think it totally depends on the location. Motorway service station, no way I'd let an under 10 boys go Into men's alone. Shopping centre/restaurant is fine. I think it depends on risk. I would always stand outside and not be afraid to go in if I was concerned.

onlyfools well yes, duh but apparently it wasn’t obvious to OP and her DH!

Ds is 6 and for the past couple of months I have asked him if he would like me to take him into the ladies or wait outside the gents for him. 9 times out of 10 he prefers me to take him with me and is nervous of going into the men’s alone (although he has done so). Maybe ask your son what he would prefer? Has he expressed a preference either way?