Aibu ...to not know what to do..adult dd and bf

[Feelingwalkedover]

So dd 23 has a bf 27 2 years together,one year living Together in their flat..moved in with us to save up for a mortgage.been living in our house rent free for a year .huge upheaval to fit them in .we have lost a fair bit of living space .they have a whole floor in the converted loft.it wasn’t a big house to start with.
Dd is saving lots ,has good job .very well paid indeed.bf had a job when he moved in.. 11 weeks ago he packed his job in.he games all day and most of the night.she won’t hear a word against him.hes applied for one job in 11 weeks.

He’s lovely ,I really like him.
But the lack of job has now become the elephant in the room.dd gets upset with me when I mention it.
If I make a huge fuss they will both move out ,and she will be paying 100% for all the rent and bills.at least as they are here she is saving.
I’ve 2 boys.
He’s setting such a bad example to them that it’s ok to not work and game all night and day.
I’d never of let him move in if I thought for a second this would happen 😢

@SimplySteveRedux There's nothing wrong with gaming in moderation, as part of a normal functioning adult lifestyle, much as others enjoy watching films or riding a bike. I know plenty of gamers for whom it's one part of life's rich tapestry. But I personally think that when it becomes an all day and night thing, especially for someone without employment or seemingly any other interests, then all the mocking stereotypes become only too appropriate.

Agree entirely with that @ImaginaryCat

OP please tell us you're kicking him out!

He sounds as though he has a gaming addiction, which can be a huge problem.

He needs the equivalent of digital detox. It won't kill him, I agree with the other posters, he needs tough love. There are schemes for getting back to work, one through Reed, which address the barriers to employment and give coaching and training.
Good Luck!

@Feelingwalkedover - have you had a word with your DD and this 27 yr old lodger? Hopefully you're having the conversation with them soon (if you haven't already had it)

Where are his parents in this?

If DD deals with “cretins” for work, she should have a spine? And some pride?

Even if they move now, that’s nearly a year of DD’s savings busted on this waster and I’d have serious concerns about him taking a joint mortgage and future credit scores etc.

OP I assume you don’t have another half who can read this twunt the riot act? If not you need to grow a pair.

Any news op?