To think this is gross..........

[CartWHEEL2008]

What are people’s views on this. It’s the middle of the night, DP has number two then comes back to bed completely naked. I find this unhygienic. I would never do that, would at least put a pair of pants on and defo have a mini shower (of private area) if sex was on the cards.
Am I being silly or does anyone else find the action gross?! Love him to bits but I don’t like when he does this at all

Omg, what the hell an I reading lol?!
Think the phrase "that's enough internet for today" just kicked in lol.
Of course people can go to the toilet in the middle of the night without putting the shower on. I'd be more pissed off if he did and waking everybody up in the process!

@LimeKiwi absolutely agree. I'm off to bed now - this hilarious thread has kept me up for ages!

@floppityisbeingarightdick

A lucky Barry or a messy Mandy! Genius.

What a treat this thread has been this morning

@TracyBeakerSoYeah you've made my week with that comment!!! Best get your eyes checked...

This thread has given me a well-needed lift this morning

OP, we use these toilet wipes in our house, I find they clean a lot better than dry toilet roll and they are flushable.

I would like to thank everyone, including your fans, for their hilarious contributions to this thread.

if you spoon him on a night I wouldn’t like the thought of moist poopy arse cheeks touching my body

^^ that in particular made me LOL!

@LifeInAHamsterWheel. Glad u had a laugh. I’ve found it quite funny too

So you sleep in pooey/pissy knickers, then, @MyBlueMoonbeam? How is that any better?

Or, is it possible, that you wipe well enough that you are clean anyway, and the knickers are an unnecessary precaution?

I’m shaking with laughter hahahahahahahaha

But how? Would his penis reach up through his bum crack and rummage around in his anus? Like an elephant's trunk

I seem to remember being taught, as a student nurse, that men were less likely to get UTIs because their urethras are longer than women’s urethras.

I am still confused by the fact that OP's DH goes to bathroom with underwear on and then reappears sans underwear; is this a nightly occurrence? Does he leave them on the bathroom floor?

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Or, is it possible, that you wipe well enough that you are clean anyway, and the knickers are an unnecessary precaution?

No and yes

goingonabearhunt1 No goes in naked and returns to bed naked!

Sorry, @MyBlueMoonbeam - are you saying No - you don’t wipe properly - in which case the knickers are a necessary precaution, not an unnecessary one, or have you missed part of my post in your quote, and are you actually saying you don’t end up with pissy/pooey knickers because you wipe properly, which would make the knickers an unnecessary precaution?

And if the latter is what you are actually saying, doesn’t this imply that it would be OK for someone to come back to bed naked, provided they have wiped themselves properly?

Because you can’t have it both ways. Either it is NOT possible to wipe well enough, in which case you would end up with pissy/pooey underwear/pjs (if you wear them) or sheets (if you sleep naked), or it IS possible to wipe well enough, and your underwear/pjs/sheets will stay clean.

So do lots of people have a mini shower after having a poo? What do you do if you’re at work?

What's a mini shower? Surely a shower is a shower? Can you have a giant shower?

@ChoudeBruxelles have a poo at work??? Omg noooooo! It's firmly held in until I get home!

Oh to be able to ‘hold it in until I get home’!

I have IBS and a recent diagnosis of lymphocytic colitis, and when I get that ‘kicked in the stomach’ cramp-y feeling, I have to go. No ifs, no buts. Thankfully I have always managed to wait until I get to a loo, but at the moment, the colitis is meaning that I can only go out if I know I am going to be able to get to a loo.

What always amazes me on threads like this is that many of the posters are mothers.

I hope you all make your husbands boil their penises in detol before any sex.

And all these people who only poo at home have never heard of 'touching cloth'....

Frankly, I'm happy to pop at work 'cos it ain't filling up the septic tank 😉

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Why are you so fixated on me?
Get a life FFS

I always poo at work! Get paid to poop!

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the famous penis beaker yet (I'm not related.)
I suppose you'd have to have a bum bowl instead.

I am responding to your posts, @MyBlueMoonbeam. And I will carry on doing so, even though I am crushed by your sarcasm.

I’m in bed now naked. Slept naked for as long as I can remember. Never one caught a uti from bed sheets. I think you all need lessons in wiping if you catch things from your own bed sheets.