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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH lack of etiquette and social awareness

196 replies

Deckchair1009 · 26/05/2019 22:45

Just managed a childfree break in London in the first time for about 5 years. Did loads of nice touristy stuff in preparation for my DH birthday soon. It’s a milestone one and he has loads of treats and “experiences” lined up. In fact, we started milking it a month ago and it’s going on til August! I don’t mind at all, he works hard and deserves to play hard. We went to a nice steakhouse in London and ordered like crazy off the menu. Chateubriand, cocktails, every side and starter you can think of. He sent back a bottle of wine because he didn’t like it and ordered a £80 substitute. He was the life and soul, chatting to fellow diners but went mad when I showed dismay at him eating the chateau Briand at the end of the meal with his hands! I appreciate this is ok with chicken and chops at home but in public, in a restaurant 🙈 He cannot see what’s wrong but it was like watching a Neanderthal! He maintains that if he’s paid £300 for a meal he should be allowed to eat as he likes. As he stormed out, I actually paid and, regardless, was expecting a bit of class without our young kids for a change. How can they learn social etiquette with a role modal like that?

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 26/05/2019 22:49

Doesn’t matter if he had a £3000 meal he should eat properly using the correct utensils. He can eat like a pig at home.

Original poster
Deckchair1009 · 26/05/2019 22:49

Just managed a childfree break in London in the first time for about 5 years. Did loads of nice touristy stuff in preparation for my DH birthday soon. It’s a milestone one and he has loads of treats and “experiences” lined up. In fact, we started milking it a month ago and it’s going on til August! I don’t mind at all, he works hard and deserves to play hard. We went to a nice steakhouse in London and ordered like crazy off the menu. Chateubriand, cocktails, every side and starter you can think of. He sent back a bottle of wine because he didn’t like it and ordered a £80 substitute. He was the life and soul, chatting to fellow diners but went mad when I showed dismay at him eating the chateau Briand at the end of the meal with his hands! I appreciate this is ok with chicken and chops at home but in public, in a restaurant 🙈 He cannot see what’s wrong but it was like watching a Neanderthal! He maintains that if he’s paid £300 for a meal he should be allowed to eat as he likes. As he stormed out, I actually paid and, regardless, was expecting a bit of class without our young kids for a change. How can they learn social etiquette with a role modal like that

OP posts:
MummyofTw0 · 26/05/2019 22:50

I had to google chateau Briand

Don't think I'm classy either

Original poster
Deckchair1009 · 26/05/2019 22:52

Thanks @pipandmum my sentiments exactly! And I’d rather he ate properly at home too!

OP posts:
SoyDora · 26/05/2019 22:53

Well eating with your hands is bad manners whether it’s chateau briand or a pot noodle.

Original poster
Deckchair1009 · 26/05/2019 22:53

Mummyoftwo, it’s just a lovely big lump of meat but they slice it already so it’s not as if you need to go caveman on it!

OP posts:
Southlonmum · 26/05/2019 22:55

I'm sorry but of course he can eat with his hands - lighten up!

Runkle · 26/05/2019 22:56

Does it really matter? I'm assuming you were sitting face each other so did anyone else see? I'd be more annoyed by the flouncing. Sounds like you has a great time up until then... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cherrysoup · 26/05/2019 22:57

I’d be horrified if my dh did that. What the fuck was he thinking?

LordNibbler · 26/05/2019 22:59

I don't understand people thinking it's ok. You all probably think slurping gravy from a plate is ok too when eating out in public. Hmm

dudsville · 26/05/2019 23:00

I would also suggest you take a breath. His behaviour does not reflect on you, and his behaviour was ok.

Runkle · 26/05/2019 23:00

Horrified? He didn't wipe his arse with a napkin 😕

overnightangel · 26/05/2019 23:02
Biscuit
BanningTheWordNaice · 26/05/2019 23:03

Not sure why everyone thinks eating steak with your hands is normal/okay in a restaurant. Don’t worry OP, no one will have judged you by association although that is just a weird thing to do.

Chocolate35 · 26/05/2019 23:08

That would annoy me for about a minute before I started laughing. But it’s pretty minor. I doubt anyone noticed. I’d be more annoyed at him having a tantrum and leaving the restaurant, THAT is rude.

HennyPennyHorror · 26/05/2019 23:08

It's disgusting because it's the sort of behaviour which can put others off their own food. Paying 300 doesn't mean a person can forget their manners!

Runkle · 26/05/2019 23:08

The OP says at the end of the meal so I was assuming it was a piece or two? Yes not ideal and certainly there are limits (no it doesn't mean you'd slurp gravy off a plate to the pp who suggested that) but I don't think I'd let it spoil the first child free night in 5 years..?

DramaRamaLlama · 26/05/2019 23:10

Of course it wasn't ok!

This wasn't using the wrong fork or cutting the bread roll. Eating slices of steak with your hands is revolting behaviour.

ichbineinstasumer · 26/05/2019 23:12

hmm, sounds to me as if there is an element of 'since I am so wealthy as to be able to afford this meal, I can eat it however I like, even if that is disgusting to others'. I think that is the disgusting bit.

BummyKnocker · 26/05/2019 23:13

If you can afford £80 bottles of wine, does it matter on one occasion?

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 26/05/2019 23:14

It's disgusting because it's the sort of behaviour which can put others off their own food.
ConfusedShockGrin you are put off your food by someone picking up a bit of meat and putting it in their mouth?????

Why?

What on Earth is wrong with you?

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 26/05/2019 23:17

I wouldn't like it if DH picked up a chop at home and gnawed on it let alone in a nice restaurant. Chicken wings and ribs I think are about the limit, oh and burgers, which are not usually served in the kind of environment you're talking about. I would've been embarrassed too.

ZoeWashburne · 26/05/2019 23:18

Uhhh for starters, you don’t send back a bottle of wine because you don’t like it after the tasting. The tasting is to make sure it isn’t corked. Frankly after he pulled that diva stunt, I doubt they would be surprised he picked up and ate with his hands.

Nanny0gg · 26/05/2019 23:20

It is not normal to eat with your hands unless it's pizza or a burger (though I manage to eat that with a knife and fork if it's a proper restaurant and not McDonald's)

But if you're in a restaurant and your meal has cost £300 then no you don't eat with your hands.

Sadly the usual 'Let's take the opposite stance to the OP even if it's ridiculous' posters have turned up already.

Lilacks · 26/05/2019 23:21

I’m with you Op, and am really quite surprised that others think this is ok. It’s not, it’s basic manners (which we teach kids) to use your knife and fork properly, don’t eat with your hands.
What next - licking the plate, eating off the floor, throwing food around. Is that acceptable too when you’re in a nice restaurant?