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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH lack of etiquette and social awareness

196 replies

Deckchair1009 · 26/05/2019 22:45

Just managed a childfree break in London in the first time for about 5 years. Did loads of nice touristy stuff in preparation for my DH birthday soon. It’s a milestone one and he has loads of treats and “experiences” lined up. In fact, we started milking it a month ago and it’s going on til August! I don’t mind at all, he works hard and deserves to play hard. We went to a nice steakhouse in London and ordered like crazy off the menu. Chateubriand, cocktails, every side and starter you can think of. He sent back a bottle of wine because he didn’t like it and ordered a £80 substitute. He was the life and soul, chatting to fellow diners but went mad when I showed dismay at him eating the chateau Briand at the end of the meal with his hands! I appreciate this is ok with chicken and chops at home but in public, in a restaurant 🙈 He cannot see what’s wrong but it was like watching a Neanderthal! He maintains that if he’s paid £300 for a meal he should be allowed to eat as he likes. As he stormed out, I actually paid and, regardless, was expecting a bit of class without our young kids for a change. How can they learn social etiquette with a role modal like that?

OP posts:

CustardySergeant · 27/05/2019 12:04

"The only people I have ever seen eat steak with their hands are babies."

Who feeds babies with steak?

stayathomer · 27/05/2019 12:13

I'd second the first world problems thing, I think you and your title are a bit off but saying that your dh sounds like he got carried away and didn't cover himself in glory but saying it'll impact your kids? If he's usually okay at home then I think you're fine but I really hope you're teaching your kids the value of money ( 80 for a bottle of wine is bu imo)

stayathomer · 27/05/2019 12:14

custardy

grumiosmum · 27/05/2019 12:19

OP you have my sympathy.

DH also has terrible table manners - he always insists on eating asparagus with a knife and fork, which is very naff indeed.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 27/05/2019 12:41

I’m pretty sure Nigella would eat steak with her fingers.

Far2go46 · 27/05/2019 12:42

Who feeds babies with steak?

People who want their babies to choke to death?

SoyDora · 27/05/2019 13:00

What’s wrong with feeding a baby steak? Mine used to gum on it for ages. Great source of iron. Why would steak be more of a choking hazard than other solid foods?

Gth1234 · 27/05/2019 13:04

@grumiosmum
so he can't eat steak with his fingers, but can't eat asparagus with knife and fork.

What do you do with chicken wings?

Send men on a Pretty Woman table etiquette course.
Or watch Rowan Atkinson at work in the French Restaurant.
And don't forget the waffer at the end.

Zoobedoo · 27/05/2019 13:09

If cutlery is provided then they should be used, even if you do end up eating a burger or a banana with a knife and fork.

Who eats a blinking banana with a knife and fork?! Or a burger in a bun for that matter. Madness.

sashh · 27/05/2019 13:21

Who eats a blinking banana with a knife and fork?! Or a burger in a bun for that matter. Madness.

I agree, but, still if curlery is provided I use it.

IncognitaIgnorama · 27/05/2019 13:30

OP has lit the blue touch-paper and retired...

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 27/05/2019 13:54

I’ve been rocking my brains trying to think of a ‘steakhouse’ in London that would be so expensive. All I could think of were the Aberdeen Steak tourist trap places around Trafalgar Square but they wouldn’t serve an £80 wine. Finally it came to me, an overpriced steakhouse in London with expensive wine and Chateaubriand. You were in a branch of Gauchos weren’t you OP? If so, I really wouldn’t worry, those places are so gloomy and badly lit that no one will have been able to see him eating steak with his hands. And I totally get why he had to change his wine, their lists are ridiculous (for anyone who hasn’t been there, they list the wines by the altitude of the vineyards, rather than giving you an idea of the strength, flavour or style of the wines). Ridiculous, pretentious, overpriced places with much more than a slight odour of ponce.

HollySniffs · 27/05/2019 14:01

Yet another example that you can't buy class.

That would totally put me off my meal
It would put me off him.

DramaRamaLlama · 27/05/2019 14:05

whyohwhyowhydididoit

My bet it also Gauchos or possibly Hawksmoor - there was a life and soul total wanker dining in each of those the last time I went come to think...

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 27/05/2019 14:06

Yet another example that you can't buy class.
don’t be ridiculous, I would imagine he would be totally unremarkable in most top boys public schools, though perhaps his wife would not.

Lozz22 · 27/05/2019 14:47

Ugh I can't even stand it when people eat ribs with there fingers. I have to use a knife and fork to tear the meat off them if I eat them. Then again I hate the sticky greasy feeling on my fingers. Same with kfc I probably spend more time wiping my fingers then I do actually eating it. My ex husband had no manners at all eating out. I've had him roll into a restaurant that drunk he's fallen asleep at the table whilst his meal went cold in front of him. I got up and walked out in disgust. I think that was the turning point for me. He's picked up a plate and licked it in front of a full restaurant. I honestly wanted the ground to open up and swallow me I was that mortified oh and the whole family (his) are vulgar and think it's hilarious to fart and burp as loud as possible whilst eating. I can't tell you how many meals I've left because it's made me feel sick.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 27/05/2019 14:53

How the hell did you nd up marrying someone like that?

ilovepixie · 27/05/2019 14:54

I went on a first date with a man who ate the whole meal with his hands. I never saw him again!

Vulpine · 27/05/2019 14:56

Maybe he makes love like he eats

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 27/05/2019 15:00

I once watched a tv show where Gerard Depardieu was travelling around foodie areas. He ate some food with his hands and it was very sensual but I think you have to be Gerard Depardieu to get away with it.

clockworklime · 27/05/2019 15:03

He sounds like a boarish prick, tbh.

Sashkin · 27/05/2019 15:51

He sent back a bottle of wine because he didn’t like it and ordered a £80 substitute. He was the life and soul, chatting to fellow diners

Sounds like the root of the problem is that he was rat-arsed....

LordPickle · 27/05/2019 17:46

@MitziK Ok so should I just let him pick his teeth with his fingers at the table?

I'm American and we may eat some foods with our hands but it's disgusting to put your fingers in your mouth at the table.

stayathomer · 27/05/2019 17:50

OP I apologise for my first world problems comment and everything after it. Everyone on mn is different. I'd find an 80 pound bottle of wine out of this world experience but I see people all the time on mn saying they don't feel they can post issues as they think people will shame them etc. And along I come and do the same and be a smug idiot. Really sorry.

Far2go46 · 27/05/2019 17:56

The horror, imagine eating food with your hands

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