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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be livid over this lazy awful excuse for parenting last night

274 replies

Spanglyprincess1 · 26/05/2019 05:15

I wnet out for girls night and was drinking, baby is normally breastfed but will take formula as I struggle to express.
We havbr used a bottle for several months so I told dp they probably need washing and re sterilising. He said he checked and they didn't need washing just sterilising.
Checked this morning as baby now. Awake and I can't breastfeed yet due to alcohol, last night, and there three bottles with black mould on them in steriliser. I've hit the roof. How lazy is it not to check?
He thinks it isn't a big deal but I'm freaking out that he's put the baby at risk just because he cba to wash up 4 bottles before starlising them!
I know he has ds while I was out but wtaf
I'm panicking that I need to take ds to Dr now.

OP posts:
Doyouneedthetoilet · 26/05/2019 09:43

Maybe you can keep a couple of slices of bread aside wait for them to go a bit mouldy and then make him a sandwich. See how he likes it.

Dana28 · 26/05/2019 09:43

What a fuss about nothing. We are talking about a 10m old not a little newborn

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 26/05/2019 09:46

Ah yes,the magic 10 month age where ensuring some basic cleanliness over their feeding equipment goes out the window. I mean the little bugger surely can wash the bottles himself by now. His poor dad,being expected to slave away to ensure his 10 month old has a clean bottle for his milk. This is why kids are so entitled nowadays.Hmm

Quartz2208 · 26/05/2019 09:48

Like PP I recognise your name from other threads you have a serious DH issue

Itsnotmesothere · 26/05/2019 09:48

You can breastfeed. In future you don't need to waste your time expressing bad milk off. You've been drinking not taking cocaine.

ReganSomerset · 26/05/2019 09:48

I would bet that your partner knows that he's made a big mistake and has gone on the defensive in response. Some people can't handle being wrong.

AbbyHammond · 26/05/2019 09:49

I'm sure Dana would be more than happy to drink from a mouldy cup...

MRex · 26/05/2019 09:50

Your DP is a lazy arsehole, he needs to pull his weight more as few things are as unattractive as a man who can't care for his own child.

I think that mildewy thing will be from stuff not being dried, either of you using the steriliser should let everything air-dry before being put away.

And yes, breastfeeding is fine as long as you're safe enough to hold the baby. I do wish people wouldn't try to put mothers off breastfeeding by inventing unnecessary rules.

Nanny0gg · 26/05/2019 09:51

Do you have a dishwasher? If you have, wash in that after rinsing and then sterilize.

Buster72 · 26/05/2019 10:06

"lived in South Africa for a while and ladies there told me when their babies are young they scoop up filthy drain water and feed it to their babies to build up their immune syste.m."

Derailing slightly but are you sure that is what they said?
OP your husband is irresponsible and a shit dad...

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 26/05/2019 10:08

Like PP I recognise your name from other threads you have a serious DH issue

Is this the case, OP?

justarandomtricycle · 26/05/2019 10:14

Yeah it's stupid and potentially harmful.

He made a mistake trying to facilitate you having a completely free night when bf so I would not be too damning with him but he needs to be checking first, and now you both need to be watching baby for signs of illness.

billy1966 · 26/05/2019 10:16

Of course black mould doesn't grow in one night.
It would take weeks of sealed moisture most likely.

That is not the issue.

Whomever went to use the bottles should clean them before using them.

In this case her husband chose not to, knowing it would upset her when she saw it.

Clearly, only a complete moron would use a mouldy bottle for any baby.

The OP has done nothing wrong, except perhaps have a baby with a moron.

AbbyHammond · 26/05/2019 10:17

trying to facilitate you having a completely free night when bf
Seriously??? Who actually thinks like this!

He wasn't doing the OP a favour, he's the baby's father Confused

BottleOfJameson · 26/05/2019 10:25

What a fuss about nothing. We are talking about a 10m old not a little newborn

What? I would have thought it would be fine not to sterilize the bottles at 10 months but not drink out a bloody mouldy one!

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 26/05/2019 10:44

@AbbyHammond Poor clueless menz who have to try and facilitate their womenfolk enjoying an evening out.

It saddens me to see how much misogyny still prevails.

Newbie1981 · 26/05/2019 10:53

You can totally breastfeed even if you've drank. Am sure you have not drank a bottle of vodka. But yeah he's lazy

alittleprivacy · 26/05/2019 10:58

What the actual fuck is wrong with some of the women on here!!! I thought I had seriously low standards considering the amount of shit I put up with from my XH and that I only left him so my DS wouldn't have to grow up with him, rather than for my own sake. But fucking hell! The OP should be grateful that her useless piece of crap husband couldn't be bothered to clean his baby's bottle and gave him mouldy bottles because she was being a terrible mother having a night out and daring to not do everything to make it easy for the poor put upon manchild before having a few hours to herself.

justarandomtricycle · 26/05/2019 11:22

*Seriously??? Who actually thinks like this!

He wasn't doing the OP a favour, he's the baby's father*

Sigh. Sometimes I honestly get the impression the MN distortion field is upheld by people who are 22 and think everything is about gender.

Ever sat with a baby someone else is bf for the evening and had it go badly? No? Well fuck off with construing my comments as "poor little man" then.

StellarLunar · 26/05/2019 11:28

Spludge children in "3rd World" countries have a higher mortality rate, partly due to unsanitary water used to make bottles Angry

OP, as others have said, your husband is a dick. The bottles were not your responsibility. And even if they were and you had left them ready (which you didn't need to) , a normal person would not plough on and give a child a bottle from a dirty bottle. That was irresponsible. Hopefully not deliberate.

As pp have said, no need to pump and dump. Check out Kellymom website for bf advice.

And, there was discussion up thread, fórmula must be made with boiling water as the formula itself is not sterile and bacteria can grow on it. I think this then becomes an issue if the bottle is left out?

I used to put ours in the dishwasher after 6 months, not sure if that's the best option but certainty the habdiesr6

StellarLunar · 26/05/2019 11:28

*handiest

AbbyHammond · 26/05/2019 11:54

Ever sat with a baby someone else is bf for the evening and had it go badly? No? Well fuck off with construing my comments as "poor little man" then.
Why on earth would a baby usually being breastfed mean it is too much effort to give them a clean bottle?

goldopals · 26/05/2019 12:22

@00Sassy

It is so strange the difference! My formula tin says "now, make with cool boiled water" or something similar. Is it different standards or different quality formula

TheInvestigator · 26/05/2019 12:27

I was born in South Africa. My parents didn't feed up dirty drain water... nor did the parents of any of our friends/acquaintances. That's not a thing.

boobirdblue · 26/05/2019 12:47

Why on earth would a baby usually being breastfed mean it is too much effort to give them a clean bottle?

^^this