To be livid over this lazy awful excuse for parenting last night

[Spanglyprincess1]

I wnet out for girls night and was drinking, baby is normally breastfed but will take formula as I struggle to express.
We havbr used a bottle for several months so I told dp they probably need washing and re sterilising. He said he checked and they didn't need washing just sterilising.
Checked this morning as baby now. Awake and I can't breastfeed yet due to alcohol, last night, and there three bottles with black mould on them in steriliser. I've hit the roof. How lazy is it not to check?
He thinks it isn't a big deal but I'm freaking out that he's put the baby at risk just because he cba to wash up 4 bottles before starlising them!
I know he has ds while I was out but wtaf
I'm panicking that I need to take ds to Dr now.

You and your child deserve better op.

Fyi sterilising is unnecessary, especially for a baby of this age. Bottles just need to be thoroughly washed in hot soapy water, which they clearly weren't if they have blanc mould

Oh I remember who you are now.

You're the person who is smart, dynamic, sorted, solvent, own house, everything going for you, and you're wasting precious time and energy puppy-sitting a useless, sponging manchild for reasons god only knows and no-one else can fathom.

On top of everything else, he's now actively useless when it comes to the most basic childcare, and has the cheek to basically say FUCK YOU when you raise concerns.

You are clever, you have this with one hand tied behind your back, why can't you see that even if you can kind of put up with things now, it won't be long before just the sight of this absolute loser will make you itch to punch him? Why waste more time waitign for that to actually happen?

Just dump the twat and get his useless, USELESS arse out of your house!

Op he’s demonstrating time & time again he simply can’t be arsed doing things for the baby correctly & safely. By that I mean He is too lazy to double check the safety of his child.
By shutting you down when you try to address this he’s showing you he doesn’t respect or value his opinion either. What an awful combination.
Can you really be bothered doubling checking everything he does for the rest of your life because you can’t trust him to ???

He’s made it very clear that you will have to be in charge of EVERYTHING. You can’t trust him with the most basic parts of parenting. You can’t even reassure yourself that at least he won’t put the baby in danger through his laziness, because he clearly will. You will have to supervise him and pester him and eventually give up and do it yourself, all the way through your baby’s childhood.

Convenient for him. Doesn’t sound like much fun for you though.

Black mould?

Gross!

Would he serve drinks to his guests in glasses with mould in them? I'd bet he'd be too embarassed to do that, which means that he has a very low priority for basic childcare to his own damn child.

Such neglect is unacceptable. He needs to pull his head out of his ass asap!

I'm starting to think I'll have to. Double Check everything he does now which is ridiculous and tbh a bit condescending

Yes, that's what he'll tell you, that you're condescending and micro-managing and a control freak.

And when you don't, he'll put your your kid in danger or discomfort or just neglect him.

So you'll have to do it and get told how condescending you are, won't you? For years. Until you've had enough of it.

For future reference, your baby doesn't necessarily need a bottle if you are out. Now is a good time to introduce a cup. Go from breast to cup. No bottles. Also, alcohol is very much diminished in breast milk Plasma dilution. Not the same as the placental barrier in pregnancy

With FizzyGreenWater.

You only feed your baby twice a day?

At that age many babies only have 2 milk feeds

He has solids for breakfast, lunch dinner and two snacks. He only wants milk at waking and nighttime, plus occasionally at 4pm. That's it.
If I try he rejects it.
He has water throughout the day in a sippy cup.

Which one are you talking about OP?

The real baby or the petulant whining adult one?

Send him back to the parent whose house he never moved out of until you picked up his dummy and travel cot and moved him in with you.

Exhausting tbh though

Yup..now imagine your life like this for at least the next 7 years. A life where you either do everything,or every time you don't you'll worry over him fucking up.

You deserve better love. And life will definitely be less exhausting when you're not doing everything for yourself,a baby and a grownass man ,all tje while waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He was married for 10 years, then separated now divorced 6 years now. He moved back home post divorce as many people do
He isn't perfect but neither is anyone

But most people aren't willing to knowingly drive their children around in a seat that isn't safe and therefore could potentially kill the child. It's not about not being perfect.

OP apologies for the sarcastic answer. I was on your other thread though - I know he's divorced, in fact with two failed relationships behind him because of his expectation that he can call his hobby a job and basically sponge off people, and three other kids that it now seems to be your responsibility to meet the 'global' needs of (bigger car please! bigger house please! whine whine!).

I meant that from what you described on your other thread, he went back to his parents and lived for free after his divorce until you came along.

Not sure what you want tbh - to vent, but then re-convince yourself that you're doing the right thing by vigorously defending him?

So many threads showcasing what a loser this man is - and generally, in the very. very poor way he's responded to being a father, despite having three older ones.

This is your first baby, and it really looks as if that baby would have a much nicer childhood if he just wasn't really around.

I don't know either. Vent I suspect!
I'm trying my very hardest to make this work for baby if for no one else. I like to see the best in people.
Obviously there good points he does housework. He will change nappies, hold baby when I'm eating, get up in night to cuddle baby after I've done feeds if he's teething and I have work.

He's not good because he does nappies, homework and cuddles! Are you good because you do homework, nappies and night feeds?!

I mean he's involved. He's better than some you read about on here!
I think it's hard to see the wood from the trees, sometimes, so seeking another view on a suitation can help,

Juts because he's better than some doesn't mean you should settle for someone how would risk his child's life just to make himself feel like the big cock.

As others have said I don't think you have to stabilise after 6 months. A 10 month old could be putting anything in their mouths with them crawling round so I wouldn't worry. I remember a joke going round on Facebook where the first child eats some soil and the parent rushes them to the doctors. When their third child does the same thing they wonder if they need to feed them lunch.

Sterilise not stabilise.

My ds had to go into hospital at 5 days old. Before we left I had put bottles in the sterilizer. We didn't get back until ds was 5 weeks old and my husband left them there. They were full of mould. House was awful I cried when i got home. My husband is useless