To be livid over this lazy awful excuse for parenting last night

[Spanglyprincess1]

I wnet out for girls night and was drinking, baby is normally breastfed but will take formula as I struggle to express.
We havbr used a bottle for several months so I told dp they probably need washing and re sterilising. He said he checked and they didn't need washing just sterilising.
Checked this morning as baby now. Awake and I can't breastfeed yet due to alcohol, last night, and there three bottles with black mould on them in steriliser. I've hit the roof. How lazy is it not to check?
He thinks it isn't a big deal but I'm freaking out that he's put the baby at risk just because he cba to wash up 4 bottles before starlising them!
I know he has ds while I was out but wtaf
I'm panicking that I need to take ds to Dr now.

Once you are sober enough to hold the baby, you are sober enough to bf.

I would hit the rough too, that is bloody disgusting

Oh do fuck off @Snowdropheaven

Thank you everyone, for the mostly, helpful dvice and help.

jaseyraex

Are you really told to put formula in hot water in the UK? In Australia (at least in this part), all tins specifically say to add scoops to cool boiled water which was echoed by midwives at our hospital.

You also could have checked bottles beforehand, bit late to be fussed now. Your baby will be fine.

Or the DP could've checked......why is the responsibility with the OP?

Hidden? Not

I’d be really cross too, YANBU. But just so you know, you don’t need to express the ‘bad milk’ - there’s no such thing. The very tiny amount of alcohol that gets into your milk just decreases over time the same as it does in your blood, so you don’t need to get rid of the milk that’s there in the morning, you can just feed. Unless you were still drinking at 3/4am and very drunk!

Seriously why do people get such a kick out of piling on people for stuff that isn’t even relevant. No the OP does not need to take partial responsibility for her DS being given milk in a mouldy bottle.
She left those bottles there in good faith expecting they would be rewashed before being used and they weren’t.
She had specifically said those bottles need to be washed and her DH still couldn’t be bothered to check. Pure laziness.

This will sound odd but it’s clean mould so very unlikely little one will be ill. what you can see are stains but any bacteria should have been killed by either the sterilising fluid or steam, whichever was used. It doesn’t look nice but it’s not harmful if it was properly sterilised.

Op, ignore all the judgemental posters on the mould.

Left damp in the microwave steriliser is what did it. You've chucked it now.
I have the steriliser bags for the micro now and a cold water steriliser after learning that lesson...i was also bf with the v occasional bottle. Easily done!

No I was home at 3/4 in cuddles bbay. I did drunk a bit though 6 cocktails.
It's really scary tbh how much misinformation there is on breastfeeding as my hv specifically said to pump n dump

Yes I’d be livid with him too, it’s lazy.
I’ve also learned something too, I didn’t think you could BF if you’d had a few drinks, and probably would have if expressed and thrown it. Why is it different to not drinking when you’re pregnant then??

You also could have checked bottles beforehand, bit late to be fussed now. Your baby will be fine
Why? She has given the job to her DH an equal parent. Why does she have to do the stuff he is supposed to do just to make sure it gets done? If I ask my DH to do something I don’t go and do it myself too, why would I?

Misogynist are out in force this morning!

Of course it isn't in any way the OP's fault that the baby's fully functioning, adult, other parent is a lazy shit

I'm guessing as baby is directly connected to bloodstream and growing. But I honestly don't know, I though and did (despite really struggling with expressing) pump n dump

Why is it different to not drinking when you’re pregnant then??
When you’re pregnant your baby is linked directly to your blood stream via your placenta. They get the same volume alcohol as you.
When you are BF only a tiny amount of the alcohol transfers to the milk.

I'm actually irritated that pump n dump is still a thing as I didn't drink for a long time because I struggle to express at all.
How frustrating that the advice is wrong!

5 years ago our very good HV said BF after alcohol is fine unless you're incapable of holding the baby safely.

Your H is a lazy arse.

Christ, you hv said pump and dump? No wonder b/f rates in the U.K. are so low. Even hcps seemingly have absolutely no idea how the physiology of b/feeding works. It’s fine to just breastfeed OP. Just don’t co sleep if you’re drunk.

@goldopals

We are told to use hot water to make formula in the uk as the formula powder itself is not sterile, the hot water ‘sterilises’ the powder, then it’s cooled to correct temperature for feeding.

YANBU to be livid.

I'd get ready for years of this tbh, a man who is so negligent that he'd put his baby at risk of illness, is showing you very clearly that you can't rely on him to be an equal co-parent.

Next time you go out and leave him in charge, I expect you'll feel that you have to prepare and do everything yourself and leave him strict instructions, because he can't be trusted to be a responsible parent and he may harm the baby if you don't.

Lots of men play this game. It's disgusting. Sorry OP.

BTW mildew and mould are the same thing - both a fungal growth.

@snowdropheaven - get lost. The odd evening out does not represent a lack of care for a baby - in fact it's probably good for the mothers mental health. Get back to smug land where you belong.

I haven't read all the posts but NHS says to sterilise up to 12 months.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/sterilising-bottles/

(Your DH was an arse btw)

Yes and that's 12 months whether you are formula feeding or expressing.