Would you wreck someone’s wedding if they wrecked yours?

[Butterfliestastewiththeirfeet]

I know I’m BU but it’s a thought that’s crossed my mind.

I’ve NC and not going in to finer detail because it’s outing.

So yeah PIL and Bil did a great job of turning our wedding in to something awful. I feel it was done on purpose because of something that was said to a close friend of mine before the day off Bil.

I’ll never forget BILs smirk as he was leaving. Dh was dealing with something else. His new girlfriend at the time was also incredibly rude to DH a while later. Dh didn’t tell me at the time because he knew how upset I was still over the wedding.

I was so upset after the wedding. I couldn’t talk about it for a few weeks with out crying and for about four/five months after I was incredibly low. It was an expensive wedding, looked forward to it for years and I couldn’t get past that i felt they had done it out of spite. I’m NC with Bil and his girlfriend. Very low contact with PIL

Dh is in low contact with bil and his girlfriend.

I’ve honestly put up with some much shit of this family. For years I kept quiet not to rock the boat bit this was the last straw.

Any way BIL girlfriend is about to become his fiancé. I know for a fact he has already cheated on her. That’s what he does. He has always been like that.

I’m having thoughts that I’m going to send an engagement present and ‘build bridges’ just so i can go to the wedding and wreck it for them.

The thought gives me so much pleasure.

I know I’m acting like a complete psycho.

At my work, we get a lot of people trying to fuck up other people's weddings. The problem is that the the person comes over like a complete loon and gets no sympathy at all. No matter how justified you may feel, you will be remembered by friends and family (and venue and celebrants and florists and waiters etc. etc) as being completely unhinged.
Much better to continue with you policy of bring NC.

This 👌🤣

Shag him in the bogs during the reception and post tagged selfies on facebook, if that doesn't spoil it nothing will.

Send a gift - mid-priced, not cheap.
Politely decline the invitation to the wedding; lie & say it clashes with your best friend's wedding.
Go out for the day with a good friend. Have a lovely lunch. Visit somewhere nice or do a bit of shopping.
Then wait.
Karma's a bitch, and if BIL has already cheated on his fiancee, it'll all come out in the end.
Bask in the knowledge that you have been the better person.
Big hugs that they were twats at your wedding.

change the wedding march for any of these

I would do as hadalifeonce suggested and just not go. They will notice so will be offended and you will have kept your dignity. It's a big enough statement. Just tell them you are having a pedicure that day.

To be honest, planning and taking revenge never works out the way you plan. It could come back at you and make you feel worse. Rely on karma, it will get them in the end. Rise above this episode, wipe your mouth and get on with your life. If I were you I wouldn’t have any to do with them. Why would you want to go to their wedding? Why would you want to waste time on them. Steer well clear. Silence speaks a thousand words.
Dwelling on this just causes you more pain. The way to get back at them is to show them you are happy and doing well in life.
In saying all that, I would somehow let her find out he is a low life scumbag cheat at a later date.

Sorry this happened to you on your wedding day! Although I'm completely baffled as to why your photographer went home!! I am a wedding photographer and I would NEVER go home without making sure I had the photos I needed (even if it was the bride!)

Go nuts. You're no contact anyway, who cares if they think you're a loon. I'd have some schadenfreude at their expense!

More than time to get over it.

I'd have to contact her and tell her he's a cheat.
She probably won't believe you but you can add that he's done it before with xyz, but you think they deserve each other.
You know you haven't exactly got on in the past but you pity her so much being lied to and cheated on

Tbh OP I would either let them get married and wait for her to find out about the OW or get hold of an invite and invite the OW.

Honestly, I have had something similar, and the best thing is to let them go and not do anything.

The best revenge is living well and being happy, not doing anything malicious, you just come over petty and small, when you rise above them you annoy everyone so much more.

Anyone else staggered that a grudge has been held for 15 … fifteen years ??

Well, I'll have been married for 30 years in a few weeks and every now and then I get a bit of a choke on about ILs at my wedding.

PoisonousSILs (not related to me or DH) parents accepting a non invitation and trying to get into all the official wedding pictures.

PotheadSILs GF trying to slap me with a pint glass in her hand - apparetnly we had locked her out of the wedding meal... well, the doors were sliding ones and the hotel staff let her in as soon as it became obvious she hadn't worked that out!

All the ILs got 'lost' on the 200yard walk from church to sit down meal... to be fair there was an open pub between the two! But we had to send someone to get them - half an hour after the meal was supposed to start the arrived and sat down loudly wondering where the "grub" was! That included MIL and FIL....

DHs cousins started one hell of a fight (yes, they do happen outside of Eastenders) and one of them was taken off in an ambulance - they were all brothers and sisters!

BoneheadBIL stole a 'trinket' from the hotel. It was so expensive they noticed immediately and sent a manager to get it back.. he had to threaten to call the police before BIL gave it up - it was stuck out of his jacket pocket, very visible all the time he was telling the "rude cunt" to fuck off!

There were other, less obvious things, but there was an upside. It made my family look like bloody angels!

I'm not sure it wouldn't be helpful to put CONGRATULATIONS to BIL and (insert name of one of said conquests) accidentally on purpose here! After all - you're probably saving his fiancee from marrying the turd... But then if she's as bad - good luck to them. I wouldn't give them any head space, just bathe in the warmth that they deserve each other!

What did they do? I'm imagining all sorts here - but hard to think of them damaging your wedding so badly without embarrassing and shaming themselves terribly in the bargain! Tw@ts!

Much as it makes sense to ' leave it all to Karma', 'Rise above it' and 'Grow up', I do think the urge for some kind of revenge is born of the frustration and powerlessness felt, not to mention a feeling of injustice. I would be very careful, but would at the very least, wait and see if they are truly on the path to marriage and then discreetly furnish the bride to be with the details of his cheating. OR, give your wedding invite (if you get one) to a couple of those women. Can you imagine his face when he spots them??

Book yourselves a lovely holiday so that you are out of the country for their wedding.

Definitely do not be buying them a wedding present!

I sent a card with a shit in once it wasnt mine it was the dogs (honest ) i still feel good about it now, in fact i wish id done it to a few more people when i was younger, but in all honesty id just leave them too it theyre stuck with each other ( unless you can do it anonomously )

That's terrible wreaking your wedding day, that's just awful, if I was you I would blow him sky high for the cheating! When you think about it there not off to a good start with the cheating, he's not to be trusted as far as you could throw him! So I'd either blow him sky high for the cheating, or send her a thinking of you card and tell her what you know or just cancel the venue were they are having the do afterwards. Cancel the cars there's loads of stuff that you can do, but you got to live with it

Chuffing hell they sound unhinged! I'd keep my distance, you don't need idiots like that around.

That marriage sounds like it will last all of a year anyway.

Yeah fuck em haha haha 😠😂

Oh my inner bitch so wants to plan this with you!
I'd be finding out the venue and applying for a part time job just to lace her plate of food with strong laxatives or ensuring a severe power cut on the day...... kidnap the vicar maybe?
Mwah haha!
Unfortunately I've just not got the energy to follow through on any plans and my sensible head is saying they deserve each other and you should be the better person in real life! Shame really as it could have been fun

Do it op. Bastards have it coming. Im sick of hearing karma shit and be the bigger person. Sometimes, you need to match their level! Good luck girl

Do it do it do it!!
The run up to my wedding was completely ruined by my absolute bitches of two SIL & MIL - they completely and vindictively ruined my hen do, caused nothing but stress and upset to my bridesmaid preparations (DH asked them at the start) to the point We had to cancel them being involved a month before, which cost us hundreds in unused dresses, make up artist cancellations, shoes, gifts etc.
On the day they never once acknowledged me and went out their way to cause tension.
I’m waiting for the day I can give them a taste of their own medicine!
We’re in very low to NC now either but nobody has the right to upset you like that and think they can get away with it.
Their time will come - go for it with bells on!

Low-life horrible people are almost certainly going to be bitten hard on the arse by Karma at some stage, so if you decide not to wreck their actual wedding just sit back and wait for the inevitable fireworks, plenty of shit to hit the fan, one-night-stands to grass him up to his new wife, old enemies crawling out of the woodwork to stir things up etc. Maybe they will go OTT and get in a whole heap of debt then end up rowing about it until facing an equally expensive divorce/splitting of assets! People that are deliberately nasty and spiteful rarely get away with no consequences in the long-term so you could always just hope that they make each other thoroughly miserable and give them the smug 'I told you so' smirk if you ever have to see them at family events. Be the bigger and better person here as you don't want to alienate all your family and friends, do you?

Be a shame if extra needless things were ordered for their big day or duplicates caused confusion/trouble...I haven't read all the pages of this thread yet but I'm sure others will post some 'helpful' suggestions, lol! Good luck whatever you decide - let us know if there are any funny outcomes.