Vindictive husband?

[MustBeMadness]

NC for this

Had a row with DH this morning. DD5 was acting up...he turned on me and blamed my lack of discipline with her. DD is a lovely, well-behaved child & I rarely need to correct her. So this morning was one of those rare times when she refused to cooperate when getting ready to leave.

I reacted by ranting back at him - not ideal, but my patience wasn't great (AF cramps, painkillers hadn't kicked in).
Anyway, following this row, I hung out the washing, did the school run and went to work.
I'd brought coffee from home - DH always brews a pot in the morning. This morning, my travel mug had already been filled, so I grabbed it as I left. Got to work and took a sip of coffee to realise my cup contained dirty cold water, instead of coffee.
He's never been vindictive towards me before - passive aggressive sometimes, but never anything that would cause me to mistrust him.
AIBU to treat this as a sign of something very wrong in our marriage? Or am I totally overreacting?

Oh my word
OP this is truly awful. Really really bad.

I’m divorced and never ever ever did my ex do anything even half this poisonous

Nasty git. That is a red flag for sure.

That’s bad, OP. He should be your biggest supporter.

Whilst you figure out what you want to do (talk, counselling etc) do nothing for the fucker and don’t trust his coffee.

Dirty cold water? How was it dirty, out of the washing up bowl?

Really spiteful thing to do OP.

If this was truly on purpose, he is horrid. What a sick thing to do.

That’s frightening. I don’t think I could be with a partner I was scared would mess with my stuff as petty revenge.

wow - that's truly horrible and spiteful

Abit of both. Could it have been a mistake? Or did he expect you to check before taking to work? I'd ask him and just say how it made you feel and perhaps put it down to you both having a temper with each othsr this morning. A chat would defintely be worth while to air a few things. Could have just been tiredness. I wouldn't draw up divorce papers just yet.

If it was deliberate, he's a prick. Is there any way it could possibly be a mistake or is he the type of person who'd do it to spite you? If so, he needs a kick up the arse.

Bloody hell. That's nasty.

It was orange in colour...but smelled like really watered down coffee. Didn't taste great, but not horrendous either.

I can't think of any way that it could have been accidentally done?

I would call/text him right now and ask about it.

What was it? Diluted orange and coffee?

My jaw actually dropped at this. What a dreadful thing to do.

I feel so sad for you, I'd be devastated if my DH did something so vindictive to me.

How do you know it was on purpose?

I don't know for sure that it was done on purpose, but I've spent all morning trying to think of ways that this could have happened accidentally....I can't think of any.
Clean cup taken from press and filled, lid replaced, cup placed beside slice of toast. Usual morning routine. No milk in cup (I take milk in coffee), just this orangey cold water?

Could he have been distracted by the row and forgotten to make fresh coffee and just poured whatever leftover stuff there was in the machine into the travel mug?

What a spiteful dick

Most likely deliberate.

I once swapped my husband's apple in his packed lunch for an onion... I laughed to myself all day 😂

If you confront him he'll just sent it and gaslight you. The only way you'll know for sure is to leave am opportunity for him to do it again thinking you don't know.

Then LTB.

AIBU - NO!

What truly nasty thing to do, it goes past spiteful. Actually quite scary if I am honest, that is past passive aggressive.

So do I make him a sandwich for lunch, with a note inside it thanking him for my coffee & we laugh about it some day? Or am I in trouble here?

Are you sure he didn’t just put some water in the cup to soak off yesterday’s coffee before he was going to rinse it out for todays? That’s quite a conclusion you have jumped to.