Vindictive husband?

[MustBeMadness]

NC for this

Had a row with DH this morning. DD5 was acting up...he turned on me and blamed my lack of discipline with her. DD is a lovely, well-behaved child & I rarely need to correct her. So this morning was one of those rare times when she refused to cooperate when getting ready to leave.

I reacted by ranting back at him - not ideal, but my patience wasn't great (AF cramps, painkillers hadn't kicked in).
Anyway, following this row, I hung out the washing, did the school run and went to work.
I'd brought coffee from home - DH always brews a pot in the morning. This morning, my travel mug had already been filled, so I grabbed it as I left. Got to work and took a sip of coffee to realise my cup contained dirty cold water, instead of coffee.
He's never been vindictive towards me before - passive aggressive sometimes, but never anything that would cause me to mistrust him.
AIBU to treat this as a sign of something very wrong in our marriage? Or am I totally overreacting?

Knobhead.

I asked why and he said I needed cooling down.

What a prick, putting it on you and taking no responsibility. Next he'll say it was a joke. Don't be fooled, OP.

There was a post a while back by a woman who did something very similar to her husband after a disagreement - everyone thought it was hilarious and congratulated her.

Has he been like this before? It could be a mistake, although unlikely.

Why was he berating you for your child's behaviour, should he not be speaking to his child directly? Does he always leave the discipline to you?

Uh Oh. You have a problem.

I could cry for you op...that's so horrible. I am a very forgiving person but i dont think i could forget or forgive that.

There was a post a while back by a woman who did something very similar to her husband after a disagreement - everyone thought it was hilarious and congratulated her.

Didn't see it. I would have called her a nasty fucker aswell.

He said 'cold water'. I asked why and he said I needed cooling down.

ok leaning towards sinister now

You needed cooling down? what a dick.

Nasty, spiteful fucker. He’s showing you his true colours OP.

So deliberate and spiteful, definitely trouble OP.

God, DH and I have had some rows after 27 years but he'd never in a million years do anything like that.

That's awful

Was ready to respond with a "oh he probably was just soaking the cup"
then I read Okay, so I've texted him and asked what was in my coffee cup. He said 'cold water'. I asked why and he said I needed cooling down.
That's pretty nasty and very vindictive. A small saving grace is that he didn't gaslight and owned up to it........mind you maybe it's worse as it sounds like he's proud of it!
Hope it all goes well for you xx

You really do definitely have a problem. Have you checked your freezer lately? Or under the patio. Very disturbing, chilling behaviour.

I missed your update before I posted. What a nasty fucker!

Hardly anybody did though @LazyLizzy - people thought it was brilliant and he deserved it for the argument they had had. I didn’t comment then, as I do think it’s an immature and passive aggressive response. But the differing view points depending on the side of the story is interesting.

RTFT PEOPLE! HE ADMITTED IT WAS DELIBERATE.

(Sorry for rant, only aimed at a few who haven't RTFT and are still saying it could be a mistake).

I think I'd be asking him to leave for a few days, tbh. I wouldn't, atm, be engaging with him or discussing this at this stage. I'd be asking him to go and stay at his parents'/in a hotel/whatever for the time being while I thought about this and what it meant.

Fuck.

He did it deliberately. That would bother me greatly.

@Shamoo

There was a post a while back by a woman who did something very similar to her husband after a disagreement - everyone thought it was hilarious and congratulated her.

I don't believe you. Link or it never happened.

Oh dear.

That was seriously spiteful. I'd have a hard time forgiving or forgetting that.

.

@Shamoo Do you have a link for that? I don't remember it

WTF. Disgusting behaviour.
This is bullying. Your husband is bullying you.