Would you judge me?

[clairemcnam]

I hold my knife like a pen. I did not even think about this until MN. Would you judge me for this if you met me?

then don't complain when people do things you judge rude 🤷

then don't complain when people do things you judge rude

I don't really, to be honest. I'm fairly easy-osey. I certainly wouldn't pay attention to how a friend holds their knife and cold-shoulder them if they do it the 'wrong' way. I'm more bothered about whether they are kind, whether we can have a laugh together and whether they have my back.

The thread isn’t about kindness though. We are talking about knives and forks

The thread isn’t about kindness though. We are talking about knives and forks

The poster I was replying to said her (?) friends would cut someone off for holding a knife the wrong way. Several of us have pointed out that we would not want friends like that.

Fair enough. I don’t think not being able to use a knife and fork properly looks good but I would never drop a friend because of such a little thing.

Yep, sorry but not massively! I judged my brother in law for eating spaghetti with a knife and fork though 😂

What 'Rules' are we talking about? My sister was taught some frankly bizarre rules at her school about who could sit where, when certain people could speak, about 200 pointless things about cutlery and such gems as 'a lady doesn't cross her legs unless she is vulgar' (obviously crossing them at the ankle would be deemed just about acceptable....a man can drape round his neck or the neck of the woman next to him, because...well you know).

Obviously we've got to keep all of them, can't just pick and choose.

Op what's prompted the question?

I wasn't aware there were "rules". There certainly aren't where I come from. I just started holding my knife like a pen and nobody gave a shit.
ONE has never been judged on how ONE holds ONE'S cutlery.

I'd judge you. I've left restaurants before because of no tables to move to and people on adjoining tables having horrific manners. But I'm a judgy fuck by MN standards apparently 🤷

Just hold your cutlery properly ffs, otherwise you look like an inept fool and probably appear to eat like one too.

Barbarians. The lot of you 😁

No I wouldn't. I would think anyone who did judge you over something so trivial was a bit of a knob though.

It's a poor and ineffective way to use it. I do judge a bit.

These threads always make me laugh when you get people saying 'one' this and that. As if they would ever fucking say that in real life.

I do..

Genuinely, I have never heard anyone say this in everyday conversation. (I'm not saying you don't btw!) I go to a million meetings a month, have a wide social circle, live in a very middle class rural area and have just never heard it.

I often use the term 'one' - it just fits some situations and phrases.

Paddintonthebear

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, for that FB link.
Such joy ;)

I can't picture how this looks but I expect I probably do it ... in left had and dyspraxic, my knife and fork skills and the fact that I still don't hold a pen properly cause me grief quite a lot, I really can't picture any other way to hold a knife than the way I do though 🤔

I wouldn't judge though, it's a really shitty thing to do and makes people feel crap if it's my their fault.

As long as you don't hold your pens like a knife

I have a few friends who have various disabilities that hold their cutlery, pens and cups in unusual ways. Normally people don't notice unless you are in a really posh restaurant.

I honestly don't think that i have ever, in all of my 56 years, noticed how someone is holding their knife. Do people really spend mealtimes looking at what others are doing? I am too busy eating my food or chatting to people to pay any attention to what others are doing with their cutlery.

I would notice and try really hard not to judge/dwell on it but it makes me feel really awkward although I know I'm being unreasonable.

I was taught [what was considered] the 'correct' way to eat, but my OH holds knife and fork the wrong way round and I can't help but get irritated by it. We've argued and I know it's ridiculous, just really difficult to ignore what's been drummed into you!

Don't get me started on licking knives...

i am right handed but left brain dominant, so i eat left handed, write right handed and do most other things left handed, somethings with either hand... i wouldnt judge you

@howwudufeel That's a false analogy - not caring about how someone holds their knife obviously doesn't mean I don't care about anything.

peachgreen I was being facetious.

I would notice but not judge...the product of being brought up by strict mum.

However, I've refused food invitations with a couple we know as the nice..he really is...bloke talks with his mouth full...which would just about be ignorable if there wasn't fine bits of his food on my cutlery/plate /the table cloth....it's really really vomit inducing. ....I can't say anything. ..we just accept meets with them that don't involve food....

Wouldnt even notice.

I hold my pen differently to everyone I know, and I hold my knife the same way.

I wouldn't judge you :)