Would you judge me?

[clairemcnam]

I hold my knife like a pen. I did not even think about this until MN. Would you judge me for this if you met me?

I did my PhD at a snobbish posh Russell Group university, I know some extremely posh people, and none of them give a shit about these sorts of things.

You say that, but it just doesn't hold water.

Wills' circle were the worst for the disparaging 'doors to manual' / 'wisteria sisters' comments.

Sniffy noses are categorically not restricted to just one class, and the U types are just as guilty of it.

Fair enough chillaxing, those people are a very good example of still needing to prove something. God, can you imagine how miserable it must be to live like that? Minted, titled and still having to shite on other people to make yourself feel better.

@Trudij123

I can't picture what you mean.

This is how to hold cutlery. Can you find a picture of what you mean?

Yes I judge; it tells me a lot about your family
Wow seriously, You judge a person if they were brought up w.c or by neglectful parents, ypu judhe a person who may have w9ndered if they were getting a dinner, never mind thinking of the correct etiquette to each the meal.
Some from alcohol drug abuse or MH issues, those who faced poverty in their lives.
How does this judgement play out in your mind?
Are they beneath a snakes belly in your opinion, a real life street urchins sitting for a meal.
Do you consider if they may have a disability?

Excuse the typos, or judge them.

For the poster with the paralysis, I also don't think anyone would judge someone with a disability. And I really don't think this is what this thread is about. It's about people who can use their cutlery correctly physically but either don't know how to, don't care, or can't retrain themselves to do it correctly, as it's likely a very, very hard habit to break and anything else would feel very uncomfortable. And other people's reaction to that.

Finger pointy down the back of the knife = correct

Scrunchy up pen-like grip = abomination

I don’t have disability but I have tremor and some other issues with my hands so it often looks a bit strange when I’m doing/holding something. I think that people who judge just want to feel superior in something.

But how would you know if someone had an invisible disability?

That’s how I do it. But I also hold a pen similarly....

I wouldn't. I am a nice person.
I also don't eat with a knife: I cut everything which needs cutting up with a knife in a right hand, then put the knife down and eat with a fork (in a right hand). If I help with a knife, I hold it like you do, but in a left hand (I'm right handed). I eat in order to enjoy food, not to impress other people.

I hold my cutlery like a pen, I'm not poorly educated or disabled. I am hypermobile in all my finger joints and it's not comfortable or practical for me to cut up for in the 'correct' way.

yes.

I hold my pen like a knife, AND it m vegetarian.

My parents were both martinets with table manners. My son has two sets - impeccable when in public, neanderthal at home. I try not to judge but the habits of a lifetime prevail.

To those that hold their knife like a pen. How do you cut properly? Surely you wouldn't get the pressure needed.

I don’t think anybody would judge a person with a disability. I certainly don’t judge my own relatives who struggle to eat because of their disability.

In anyone over 12 years old, I’d assume a neglectful upbringing or a disability. I might have sympathy, but I would expect anyone with ambition (and the ability to) would retrain their brain on this habit once they hit adulthood.

If only all disabilities were obvious, never invisible and never affected people differently on different days.

To the people who would judge. Why does it matter how somebody holds their knife as long as people are sticking me the ribs or making lip cracking noises or eating with their mouth open I wouldn't even think about it. In my house the rules are to eat nicely ; not talk with a full mouth and no lip smacking. My husband doesn't use a knife at all just chops with his fork and my son quite frequently eats his peas with a tea spoon........oh my goodness the world is still turning.

It doesn’t matter. I hate it that l’m judgemental about it but it’s hard to lose something that was ingrained decades ago when you were a very small child.

There is whole Facebook page dedicated to this!

I would notice TBH, but then I'm of a generation who were taught how to use cutlery and behave at the table and brought up our children to do likewise.
My son did once thank me as he fitted in seamlessly at all levels of society. Important as he moved up the career ladder.
I wouldn't judge you but just assume your parents didn't teach you.

Scrunchy up pen-like grip = abomination

Who even holds a pen like that?

The thing is, this is one of these things that is incredibly difficult to train yourself out of. Because when you use cutlery you do it automatically, you don't think about it. To change it, you'd need to put in effort every single time you used a knife, and keep persevering through the "discomfort" until it became natural to you, which would take a long time, I'd imagine months and months of effort.

It can clearly be done. But you'd have to really want it, it would have to be important enough to you. For whatever reason.

Try it, when you pick up cutlery your hands assume your normal hold position with no conscious thought from you. It's like a reflex.

I would also blame the parents

I would also blame the parents

How old are your children? I can tell mine how to do something and why, but I can't actually MAKE them.