Would you judge me?

[clairemcnam]

I hold my knife like a pen. I did not even think about this until MN. Would you judge me for this if you met me?

I would notice, but wouldn’t say anything. Licking a knife is worse.

What @Confusedbeetle said.

I wouldn't judge you for that. For other table-manners violations such as chewing with your mouth open yes, but not for that.

I would assume you had dyspraxia or some other challenge so you just couldn't manage to cut your food in the usual way. The way you do it sounds awkward and inefficient so I would feel a bit sorry for you. I would soon put it out of my mind.

I dont know what you mean and now I'm worried I do it wrong! Can some one post a picture of the "proper way" and the pen way? Google has not clarified for me

I do it when I eat fish that comes on the bone, but then very few people eat fish that way so nobody has judged me yet... that I know about.

forkfun
most people can understand the difference between bad table manners and different cultures. It's quite unusual to have someone at your own table and not being aware he's not a local, you tend to have a clue who your guests are

We all know it's bad manners in France for example to keep your hands on your lap at diner!

To be honest, really bad manners are unpleasant for everybody. Holding a knife is not a big deal, refusing to eat something because "you don't like it" is just rude.

My main thought is how do you use your knife efficiently, how to you manage to cut a piece of meat for example, because if you're holding your knife like a pen how are you able to exert any pressure on the blade.

I've been vegetarian since my early teens which may in part account for the fact I have no idea what the OP means or why it might be wrong. I tend to eat left-handed as well as I just find it more comfortable.

I don't judge people for how they use their cutlery. Noisy eating and eating with your mouth open gross me out.

I always notice when people hold cutlery differently to the 'correct' way. There are a couple of TV characters who drive me mad because they're so awkwardly held.

My dad used to hold his knife like the OP. In those days it was definitely a class thing. Nowadays I think it's a laziness thing.

I hold my knife like a pen. I hadn't realised that it was "wrong". Are people judging because they think they are superior or what? Thank goodness I don't move in circles like that or places where you can miss out on a job because of the way you hold a knife...........

I had to go get a knife to check.
I googled knife and fork etiquette, so many rules, it is like sign language on a plate. 🤣🤣
I definitely would not judge, I could not judge. I have to visually check my left from right hand often, it doesn't come naturally, I look to my ring finger.

I have an autistic DS who can barely cut up his own food due to dyspraxia. He’s 19. Yes, it can be embarrassing in restaurants etc but, fuck it. Those who matter don’t mind, those who mind don’t matter.

First one is 'correct' second one is like a pen

I was taught to hold it a different way, but I wouldn't judge how other people hold it because I'm married to an American and they do all sorts of odd things with cutlery!

Oh yes, he eats noisily too.

My DH holds his knife and fork the "wrong" way round, would you judge him??

The first one is holding the knife like a pen. The one with the fork shows the 'correct' British way to use a knife and fork.

The first one is holding the knife like a pen. The one with the fork shows the 'correct' British way to use a knife and fork.

Are people judging because they think they are superior or what?

how do you judge people who eat with their mouth opened, who help themselves in your fridge, who take off/keep their shoes in your house (doing the opposite of your own rules), don't say please or thank you?

Manners matter to everyone, I am sure there are examples of some sort you do judge. It's a bit hypocritical to pretend otherwise.

Sorry for double post!

the finger on the knife is too far, you should keep it slightly more on the handle

I also have many friends who won't invite you again.

...and for that I’m sure I’d be very grateful.

What utter knobs. As it happens, I don’t hold my knife like a pen, but I’m sure I’d commit some other cutlery crime. If holding a piece of cutlery ‘the wrong way’ is how theybjudge people, I’d be happy not to be in their company.

I've been vegetarian since my early teens which may in part account for the fact I have no idea what the OP means or why it might be wrong

Say what? The ‘correct’ way to hold a knife is no different for a vegetarian.

I’ve been vegetarian 30 years.

OP. I wouldn’t judge you for it, not at all, but it does make me wonder why people do it? I find it’s uncomfortable & difficult to use the knife effectively. It’s the way babies/children naturally hold them until they’re taught to hold them ‘properly’ so it looks a little ‘child like’ I suppose, but I wouldn’t care or think badly of you.

I commit the ‘sin’ of continually swapping my fork between hands and, gasp, using my fork ‘tines up’ ‍🤷🏻‍♀️. Frankly, I prioritise getting my food into my mouth without dripping or dropping it. I don’t overload my fork, I eat with my mouth closed and I don’t scrape my teeth along the tines, that’s good enough for me.

I'm fascinated by the idea of eating soup with the hands. It must take ages. Do the Nigerians use bread or similar to mop up the liquid?

Apart from very liquid things, I like eating with the hands, as long as I am able to wash them or rinse them immediately afterwards (and obviously they need to be extremely clean before starting to eat).

Oh thank you. I dont think I would have the dexterity to do it the pen way!

I'm left-handed so never swap my fork from hand to hand. It's easiest to have it in the left hand always. My right-handed children do sometimes eat with the fork in the right hand and the knife in the left.

I'm fascinated by the idea of eating soup with the hands.

I am guessing some people have a straw in their handbag just in case