Would you judge me?

[clairemcnam]

I hold my knife like a pen. I did not even think about this until MN. Would you judge me for this if you met me?

I don't think i ever 'taught' my DDs how to use cutlery. I made them available and they worked it out by trying and watching us i guess. I still don't know exactly how i hold my knife. I seem to change it depending on what i am eating. It is a completely unconscious action.

How old are your children? I can tell mine how to do something and why, but I can't actually MAKE them.

Of course you can if you start young enough. It's like training a puppy. Good manners can be ingrained from the word go.

My children have good manners. But now they are teens they rebel in strange ways and me telling them not to makes them worse. That's normal.

I'm not sure I've ever heard of a teen rebelling by holding their knife like a pen if I'm honest. But if that's what yours are doing then fair enough. Their rebellions could be much worse.

As said, using your cutlery is an automatic thing, it's subconscious. If a child is taught, with kindness and patience, from a young age how to do it, then it should be automatic to them as they grow up.

I hold mine like a pen but I'm left handed, 60's born and the school forced me to eat the right handed way, it was the only way I could do it without being told off. It stuck.

Haven't rtft btw.

How are you supposed to hold a knife? I'm confused!

I also have a teen with neanderthal manners at home. Last time I asked her to take her elbows off the table she picked her plate up and licked it.... However she is also capable of negotiating her way through the cutlery for a multiple course dinner without thinking about it when she has to.

But I'm glad the distinction between manners and etiquette has been addressed above - one is making others feel comfortable and the other is showing off regardless of how others feel.

Etiquette is not about showing off. How will you ever teach your kids if that's what you believe?

I just don't get the comments about how you can possibly exert enough pressure to cut meat when you hold your knife like a pen ( as I do) All I can say is some of you must encounter some very tough meat as it has never caused me a problem.

I'm not sure I've ever heard of a teen rebelling by holding their knife like a pen if I'm honest. But if that's what yours are doing then fair enough. Their rebellions could be much worse.

I rebelled by not cleaning my teeth because it was hugely important to my mum. My daughter rebels by refusing to use her knife at all.