Would you judge me?

[clairemcnam]

I hold my knife like a pen. I did not even think about this until MN. Would you judge me for this if you met me?

everyone I know with that background does the same
May I ask how many w.c do you know, if they all do the same.
I am w.c as I am sure you can tell.
I never saw anyone using their cutlery like a pen.
Some used them in wrong hands, but not like a pen.
I usually use the side of my fork for cutting food. 🤣🤣🤣

PrimalLass - you would not see upper class or well-educated people holding their cutlery incorrectly. Sorry, but there is a right and a wrong way to do this.

I hold my knife correctly who knew only a shame its in the wrong hand

I would. I wouldn't tell you though.

EmeraldShamrock

Glad it's not just me! I vacillate between feeling angry they will be judged for it, but knowing that they will so try to inculcate the basics without making them feel 'not good enough'. So I know they will always be hugely clumsy / muddle up the knife and fork hands etc but draw the line at speaking with their mouths full etc.

Hilariously, were at a cafe recently with the very person who'd made me practice my cutlery (before he took me out to dinner) 30 years ago. I have (perhaps wrongly) recounted the story to the kids as justification for my nagging them (ie I dont want you to suffer Mum's embarassment when you are older, my darlings')

He licked his foil yoghurt pot lid clean and slurped his tea. I was :O
I told the children: 'this is the person I was telling you about'.
And they mocked him mercilessly.
Revenge is a dish best eaten (nicely, mind...) cold :)

Starting to eat before all have been served (unless the host / chef / cook has said ‘do please start’).

I believe it is considered acceptable to begin eating in a restaurant before everyone is served, if you have ordered hot food, but not cold.

I doubt I'd even notice.

I'd be more likely to judge someone who pointed it out.

I might make assumptions about your upbringing.

Well that you make you a bit of a knob tbh. My MIL holds her knife like a pen and while it annoys me (I don't know why), to make assumptions about someone's upbringing based on this, suggests that perhaps you could have been brought up better yourself.

@Catchingbentcoppers fair point but I would still wait for those who’d not yet been served to say ‘do start’ (and would say this if I were the one waiting).

I hate people using their cutlery the wrong way round being called "the left-handed way". I am left- handed as are both my parents and none of us hold our knives and forks the wrong way round. It's not left-handed, it's just wrong.

I don't even know how I hold a knife so I've never noticed how others do either.

I would notice.
I worked for a theatrical company once who were rehearsing to go on a cruise ship. The director/producer gave us dinner at her house. Later on I found out that she was checking who had the correct table manners/etiquette to be eligible to sit at the Captain's table at dinner.

I thought this was the posher way of using a knife tbh. It has the same ‘delicate’ look as sticking your pinky out when drinking from a cup.

Oh - and regards "do start" - the rule is that if it's hot food - you start.
Cold food, you wait.

They were struggling to eat properly and looked ridiculous.

I’d say you’re the only one who comes out of that story looking ridiculous.

I saw a table full of twenty year old men in Nando’s eating with their knife and fork in the wrong hand. They were struggling to eat properly and looked ridiculous.

Guessing it was the right hands for them?

I hold my knife like a pen. It is far more comfortable and I don't saw at my food when I cut it up. I also had a good upbringing, mind my p's and q's , was taught good manners particularly at the dinner table and NOT ONE person has ever mentioned how I hold my knife or told me I'm uncouth or "doing it wrong". How ridiculous!!

My DH and DC all hold their forks in their right hand which is "backwards" isn't it? They're all right handed

ok I've spent too long figuring this out.

Is the difference that the pen goes through the gap between the forefinger and thumb and the knife rests along the palm of the hand??

I don't judge anyone unless the way they eat is disgusting to the average person.

How shocking!! I am not only bad mannered but common and ignorant..... a because of a bloody knife.
Only on Mumsnet

Just as well my parents are both dead. I'd hate yo have to tell them what a shit job they'd done of bringing us up

What does holding a knife like a pen look like? I just tried holding one as if I was going to write with it and I don't understand! It's so awkward, can someone explain?

Yes, I’d notice, but I wouldn’t say anything. Same as if you pour milk into your cup before the tea. It’s a marker, but probably one that most people wouldn’t notice

yep, in all honesty I would privately judge you. I have caught myself judging my own mother for this (but find it weird that she holds it the wrong way now, when she's the one who taught me the right way!)

I also judge people who can't use apostrophes correctly, don't hold doors open for others, and don't offer seats to those in need on the bus or tube. I'm a big fan of manners. And also quite judgey

PrimalLass - you would not see upper class or well-educated people holding their cutlery incorrectly. Sorry, but there is a right and a wrong way to do this.

I'm not upper class but I do have two degrees.

Again - who had decided it is 'incorrect'? If lots of people do it, what's to say that holding the knife the other way isn't wrong?

I had to google because I didn’t know what you all meant! I don’t do it. My google search led me to this!

www.facebook.com/hklp.holdsknifelikepen/