To be annoyed by anti-Alabama posts?

[Bere111]

For context, I’m not prolife or pro choice...i wouldn’t have an abortion myself but I know that largely because I’ve never been in those desperate circumstances, so equally would never judge someone who had.
But all the anti-Alabama posts I’ve seen this week by women in the UK I find pretty ill informed.
For example, most not knowing it is still banned in Northern Ireland- part of the UK.
Also, people saying it’s ‘healthcare’ - I don’t believe this is true. I think it should be a crisis service, and making it sound routine trivialises it for me.
People saying it’s a women choice...again I don’t really think this is right. It’s a women choice to get pregnant or not get pregnant of course, but unless that girl or women fell pregnant through no choice of their own (in which can of course she should have access to abortion) I’m not sure once she’s actually pregnant she should then just be free to opt in or opt out.
I fell pregnant by accident with ds1, I was very newly married, had a well paid job and owned a house but was younger then I’d planned to be (27)- yet I had 3 people ask ‘god, what are you going to do???’ Which I found bizarre.
Most people’s opinion of abortion (including mine!) is formed on the fact that for those that are victims of rape or incest, or the health of the mother or baby is in question, or for example the mother is under 18 or even under 21, the time they need to have a safe solution to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
However, I know that only about 3% of abortion happen for the reason above. The rest the nhs classify as lifestyle factors.
I’m sure many women may be masking issues by telling the motivating reason for the termination is just a lifestyle factor, but even so I still think many, many abortion take place because of poor planning and poor timing.
I’ve had 2 close friends have terminations in our late 20s, both of which went on to have children with the same partner a few years later. Although I supported their choice, I didn’t really understand it. They were both preoccupied with the idea that the timing wasn’t right- even though they wanted children and wanted children with the current partners.
I think we put far to much pressure of ourselves that we have to do things in the right order- so then when a pregnancy comes along that wasn’t on the timeline, we freak out- even if we are perfectly capable of parenting at that time.
I also think something most be going wrong with how we are approaching contraception, especially as the fastest growing segment of women needing abortion are 30+ and have ahead previous abortions. Can women not access contraception easily or could giving more education around ovulation cycles help this (this is pretty common place in countries like Germany from secondary school age, and women generally avoid sex when they’re ovulating- even when using another form of contraception)
I guess all in all I think it’s a really complex matter- and I don’t think we have it totally right in this country, and I find it a trivialisation to see my friends sharing handmaid tale’s pictures with ‘my body my choice’ tag lines...surely when a matter really is life or death, we shouldn’t simplify it as a women’s prerogative?
Or AIBU?

[Toopoorforlife]

I had an abortion at 15, I was raped and beaten the crap out of by my 18 year old ‘boyfriend’ who’s now in prison for murder.

If there’s a girl in Alabama in the same situation as me and is forced to carry the child of a scumbag and forced to lose her right to live a normal life free of him if that’s what she wishes, you can bet your ass I’ll compare it to the handmaids tale.

While I was there I was harassed by protestors with signs telling me to put the baby up for adoption. As if I hadn’t already lost everything already - I now was morally responsible for going through pregnancy and childbirth to please someone else?

No matter what the circumstances, no body has the right to tell a woman what to do with her body - ever.

[AnyFucker]

Come back, op. Don't tell me you have dropped a turd and then run away.

[Bere111]

10 years ago- I wouldn’t have had these opinions.
I thought getting pregnant was incredibly easy and of course you’d need abortion as a last resort/ safety.
10 years, 3 children, 2 miscarriages and seri g several friends needing ivf and other fertility treatment, and often never getting pregnant at all, I just don’t see pregnant as an ‘ooops’ any more.
The nhs put many conditions on couples wanting funded ivf treatment, their told to loose weight, gain weight, refused if they’ve conceived with other partners sometimes, refused if they smoke, refused if they’ve had a previous alcohol problem.
It like we are happy to be selective when we will assist in creating life, but not happy to be selective when the choose is to end a life.

[VampireSlayer19]

You are definitely being judgmental it’s like saying your not racist as have friends of different colour!

In America not only will women be forced to go through pregnancy but they get a hefty medical bill on top of it!

Are the people so against it going to adopt and care for these children and pay the medical bills.

I don’t understand how Northern Ireland gets away with their laws while being apart of Britain it’s disgusting!

[SugarPlumLairy2]

YABU.
Alabama decided that if you are a victim of rape or incest YOU have to have that child. If you seek an abortion you could face 10 years in jail, your rapist probably won’t even get prosecuted.
Certain types of contraceptive (the coil I believe) are considered to interfere with pregnancy AFTER conception. So you might need an abortion but guess what...., NO.
If you have a medical condition that places YOUR life at risk through pregnancy, can you have an abortion then?

This is a vile, dehumanising and backward step in America’s history. Women HAD, hard fought for, rights over their bodies now they don’t,
Keep ‘em barefoot and pregnant eh America?

And just because we still have the shame if NI not allowing abortion, and women dying because of it, doesn’t mean we can’t comment on other situations. America choose to take away women’s rights, the chose that. It’s no5 just that they haven’t progressed, they actively said, “hey this business of treating women like humans, yeah we don’t like that, no exceptions, who cares about rape, incest, traumatic pregnancy, let’s screw women EVERY way we can” .

AYBU? Of course you are.

[VampireSlayer19]

Btw I can’t have children and had years of trying and fertility treatment - I still believe should have the choice.

[SylvanianFrenemies]

What's your actual point? Do you want abortion to be banned? Or available, but make people feel judged and shit about it? Or is there a scale of abortions which are morally ok, and those that arent?

Oh, and is be careful about how you throw around saying you'd never have an abortion. I thought that too. But when I found out my son had severe abnormalities that would cause his death in utero or around birth, I chose to end my pregnancy before he could develop more, experience suffering etc. I also didn't really want people fussing over my big bump with my dying baby inside, but I wouldn't have had that choice in Alabama.

Fyi no one likes or wants abortion. But many women need one, for all sorts of reasons. If the baby isn t growing in your body, mind your own business.

[Bere111]

@toopoorforlife
No civilised society can criminalise abortion services. They are essential. I’m not trying to debate that at all.
My point was, as a nation do we see them as a crisis service or routine healthcare?

[crazyasafox]

@Bere111

PLEASE ask for this thread to be deleted OP. What you are saying is utterly repugnant. Your 'views' are making me nauseous. And surely the fact that EVERY POSTER disagrees with you should tell you that you're wrong!

[Sagradafamiliar]

The OP sounds extremely immature and unable to understand that people's lives are all different, which is quite troubling.
Hope she feels better now she's got it all of her chest though. What a load of shit that is to carry round.

[BertrandRussell]

“My point was, as a nation do we see them as a crisis service or routine healthcare?”

Routine health care. Next question.

[AnyFucker]

Oh there you are

[PortiaCastis]

Shove your judgement where the sun doesn't shine but there's probably cobwebs there so leave other women alone and realise that what a woman chooses for her own body is fuck all to do with you

[clairemcnam]

You want them to be seen as a crisis service but why? To punish women and make them feel bad?

[JustMe81]

I have also suffered an extensive list of fertility issues, spent nearly 10 years trying to conceive, had my son, have lost another pregnancy, added to the miscarriage I had at the start of my ttc journey. Pregnancy for me has never been an ooops, always a timed and calculated “chance” that I might get pregnant this cycle. However none of that gives me a right to force a woman to carry a child she doesn’t want. There is no valid reason that I can think of that makes it ok for any woman in any situation to be made to carry a child that she doesn’t want to carry because someone else says she should!

[FatThor]

You sound worse with every new post OP.

So getting pregnant was hard for you? So some people need IVF? So what the fuck does that have to do with forcing women to carry babies against their will? So what if it's an "oops"? You are being a goady fucker

[teyem]

No, leave it up. There's value in seeing the strength of opinion that disagrees with this regressive nonsense. And at least this op has been up front enough to lay out their views instead of inventing Mickey mouse fake scenario trolling thread to test their ideas.

[YouTheCat]

You don't sound very well informed. Maybe you should fix that.

[SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace]

My DSis has just found out she is pregnant. She is booked in on Tuesday for a consultation regarding an abortion. I genuinely don't know if I could go through with it in her shoes (she is in a stable relationship, engaged and they share a DD already) BUT it's not my bloody choice to make and is absolutely the best choice for her. Her mental health has taken a battering since my niece was born (which definitely has a lot to do with the expectations we and others put on ourselves as women and mothers). Not your body, not your choice whatever the situation. You can be in the best personal circumstances in the world with regards to money and relationship. It doesn't mean you should be forced into doing something you don't want to do.

So DFOD.

[BIWI]

Fuck me how ignorant and insensitive is it possible to be? Stop with the faux naivety as well.

[Fiveredbricks]

I agree it should not be used as late contraception op, but I also agree it should be the woman's choice.

Will I judge someone for doing it for family planning, convinience or lifestyle/career factors? Which, lets be honest, a majority of UK abortions are for... Yes, damn right I fucking will. Because that is a shitpoor excuse and trivialises the whole thing, whether they want to hear it or not. They are killing something, even at an early stage, that would've more than likely eventually become someone. A human being. With a brain and a heart and a personality and a life. And that shouldn't be an easy choice to make or so clinically removed from what it actually is that some have become repeat offenders and are blase about having them.

Don't want the risk of a baby? Don't have fucking sex. The risk of having sex no matter what contraception you use is that you might get pregnant.

But I'll never stop any woman from having access to it like in select states in America Because that is their choice, even if I personally think it is a poor one in some circumstances.

[ChariotsofFish]

Don’t like abortions? Don’t have one. Stay out of policing other women’s bodies.