To be annoyed by anti-Alabama posts?

[Bere111]

For context, I’m not prolife or pro choice...i wouldn’t have an abortion myself but I know that largely because I’ve never been in those desperate circumstances, so equally would never judge someone who had.
But all the anti-Alabama posts I’ve seen this week by women in the UK I find pretty ill informed.
For example, most not knowing it is still banned in Northern Ireland- part of the UK.
Also, people saying it’s ‘healthcare’ - I don’t believe this is true. I think it should be a crisis service, and making it sound routine trivialises it for me.
People saying it’s a women choice...again I don’t really think this is right. It’s a women choice to get pregnant or not get pregnant of course, but unless that girl or women fell pregnant through no choice of their own (in which can of course she should have access to abortion) I’m not sure once she’s actually pregnant she should then just be free to opt in or opt out.
I fell pregnant by accident with ds1, I was very newly married, had a well paid job and owned a house but was younger then I’d planned to be (27)- yet I had 3 people ask ‘god, what are you going to do???’ Which I found bizarre.
Most people’s opinion of abortion (including mine!) is formed on the fact that for those that are victims of rape or incest, or the health of the mother or baby is in question, or for example the mother is under 18 or even under 21, the time they need to have a safe solution to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
However, I know that only about 3% of abortion happen for the reason above. The rest the nhs classify as lifestyle factors.
I’m sure many women may be masking issues by telling the motivating reason for the termination is just a lifestyle factor, but even so I still think many, many abortion take place because of poor planning and poor timing.
I’ve had 2 close friends have terminations in our late 20s, both of which went on to have children with the same partner a few years later. Although I supported their choice, I didn’t really understand it. They were both preoccupied with the idea that the timing wasn’t right- even though they wanted children and wanted children with the current partners.
I think we put far to much pressure of ourselves that we have to do things in the right order- so then when a pregnancy comes along that wasn’t on the timeline, we freak out- even if we are perfectly capable of parenting at that time.
I also think something most be going wrong with how we are approaching contraception, especially as the fastest growing segment of women needing abortion are 30+ and have ahead previous abortions. Can women not access contraception easily or could giving more education around ovulation cycles help this (this is pretty common place in countries like Germany from secondary school age, and women generally avoid sex when they’re ovulating- even when using another form of contraception)
I guess all in all I think it’s a really complex matter- and I don’t think we have it totally right in this country, and I find it a trivialisation to see my friends sharing handmaid tale’s pictures with ‘my body my choice’ tag lines...surely when a matter really is life or death, we shouldn’t simplify it as a women’s prerogative?
Or AIBU?

[mumwon]

first &most important EVERY child should be wanted not planned wanted. A mother cannot provide the emotional & physical needs of a child without the love & care that child needs to grow, not be neglected or abused. Are you aware that Alabama may be working towards banning the coil? I also suspect that the morning after pill will be criminalized. Less & less money is being invested there in birth control availability & choices. Interestingly in the Netherlands the statistics for abortion have shown a decrease in abortion (which is freely available) because they have a thorough education on birth control & increased availability. BUT no birth control is 100% & the obligation, pressure & social & relationship pressure can put women & very young girls in a vulnerable position. Poverty in the USA where child birth medical care costs & children's ongoing medical costs are astronomical - what happens to other children the woman may have or to the woman (who may be a family bread winner - though possibly/probably earning a low wage) who has to go out to work to support her other children? Many poorer women do not have much or any medical insurance there. The religious pressure & judgement of women who become pregnant can be catastrophic on the lives of their child or themselves. What life chances do these unwanted potential babies have? I could go on...

[Marvelendgame]

By the way, your difficulties conceiving have fuck all to do with another woman right not to be pregnant.

Unless of course you believe that all of these unworthy women should be forced to be surrogates for more worthy women, such as yourself?

[klendraa]

The comments on this show everything wrong with pro-life movements/ certain aspects of the left.

@crazyasafox
You want a thread deleted because you don’t agree with it. You want to eradicate any opinion that isn’t yours on a public forum. OP, has worded her opinion in a pretty polite way. Unlike some posters such as @Anyfucker @portiacastis and some many more

The fact of the matter is there are many many many people who think abortion should be illegal. The bill wouldn’t have been passed without support.

It’s not a men against women issue. Women voted the men who voted the bill in.

Some people do use abortion as contraceptive, most abortions are lifestyle choices and only 3% of abortions are due to rape.

Facts

[MeatballSub]

I’m sorry about your friends’ fertility issues but what on Earth has that got to do with the rights of other women to make choices about their lives?

I’ve had two abortions.
Once at 19 and when I was an abusive relationship, which thankfully I was able to leave behind and didn’t end up tied to a monstrous man for the rest of my life and bring a poor child in to that fucked up situation.

A second time at 36. I was (and still am) happily married with a family of my own, but one of my children has a complex disability and bringing another child in to the family would have been detrimental to the wellbeing of my existing children.

I have absolutely no shame or regret about my abortions - I did the responsible and sensible thing for my life and the lives of my loved ones - and I’m thankful it was a relatively straightforward and dignified process.

Why you would think that in ANY way your feelings about this should have impacted MY decisions I don’t know. Unless you are being disingenuous and are actually a pro-lifer trying to appear more moderate than you genuinely are....

[mumwon]

by the way a child can marry age 14 with parental permission in Alabama - enough said -

[bee222]

"Also, I’m not from a privileged bubble st all- I grew up as one of 7 children on a council estate"

You can grow up in a council estate and still have privilege. Your post perfectly demonstrates this, along with your ignorance.

[TheGoogleMum]

YABU I'm afraid. I dislike the idea of people not bothering with contraception because they can just get an abortion, but I also believe a child shouldn't be brought into the world unwanted! A woman shouldn't have to go through pregnancy if she doesn't want to. And if they want a child but right now they couldn't provide the life they want for the child so get an abortion then that's ok too. People will misuse it but it's better than it not being an option at all. The worst part is it's nearly always groups of men that make abortion illegal, I do not believe they should get such a say as it is women's bodies that have to go through pregnancy!

[Toopoorforlife]

It is healthcare. Is it too shameful for you to see it as healthcare? It has to be seen as a crisis? Do you see a&e as routine healthcare or crisis? If I need a cyst removed should I go to a crisis centre?

It’s not your body and not your business. It is a procedure which has an effect on a woman’s mental and physical health, does that make you feel better?

[crazyasafox]

What makes me sick, is how people who are SO against abortions (even at a week into a pregnancy!) will happily trot around blasting the head off a bear or a deer (with a gun) for sport, and post the pics on instagram with 'got me a deer wi' ma gun!'

Go figure!

These (like the OP,) are people of very low intelligence. Pity them.

[klendraa]

Abortion is not about making a decision about your own body. It is about making a life/death decision about the body of a little girl or boy

[Sagradafamiliar]

Five you sound very confused.

[DecomposingComposers]

I have mixed views on this.

I believe that every individual should have the absolute right to choose what happens to their body.

I also believe that, whilst I wouldn't do it, it's always better for a woman to have an abortion (if that's what she chooses) rather than have an unwanted child.

All that being said, I think the push to normalise abortion has wider implications than just "my body, my choice" and I think that people advocating this also need to be mindful of the impact this gas on vulnerable women.

There is a danger that some women will be coerced into having an abortion that they don't want because it is seen as an easy, straightforward procedure and no big deal. That is actually removing choice for some women.

I have been on the receiving end of this. Some tests during pregnancy raised the possibility that the baby had downs syndrome. In explaining this to me the consultant told me that I would have an amnio and then if it were positive I would have a termination. She never said that it was my choice or an option to consider. It was presented as a done deal. When I said that I didn't want that I was harangued, the worst case scenario was presented. She told me how terrible my life would be and that I would never be free from this child. Her disgusting attitude made me refuse the amnio and any further testing, even in subsequent pregnancy.

I also faced the exact same pressure from some friends and family. Abortion was seen as the easy option and so I was being unreasonable for not considering it.

Where are the advocates of "my body,my choice" in those situations?

So yes, I do support my body my choice but I support it in every case and for every situation. And I am very mindful that the right to choose an abortion also has implications for other women too and we need to be mindful that the rights of all women are protected.

[ExhaustedGrinch]

You will never get the true statistics on how many abortions are through rape because not every person who is raped comes forward and says so, as is their choice.

However pro-choice, in my opinion, means pro choice regardless of personal situations. It is a womans body to do with as she wishes, I don't care about what circumstances surround the abortion - it's irrelevant, it's noone elses business.

[Hopeygoflightly]

YABU - ever been to Alabama? I have and it’s a backwards, racist, misogynistic hole.
They’ve banned abortion even in the case of rape and incest FFS. YABU.

[RedSheep73]

Yabu. It's totally fine to say, 'I wouldn't have an abortion'. It's completely different to say 'I wouldn't have one and no one else should be allowed to either'. I don't think most women make that decision lightly, but it's their decision to make, just as it's their responsibility to bring up the child. And what could be worse than bringing unwanted children into the world?

[twofingerstoEverything]

YABU and misogynistic, OP. Every woman should have a right to choose what to do with their own body, including using it to incubate an unwanted pregnancy.

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

No one should have to justify their choices to you. Your body - your choice. Their body- their choice.

Plus you can't ban abortion, just access to safe, supported abortion.

[Iggly]

My view is that a woman is the one who has responsibility for her body.

If she gets pregnant - it is still her body. The foetus/embryo/unborn child is still within her body. It is still her responsibility.

Therefore the choice to have an abortion should remain with that woman. It’s not for the state to determine whether she should or shouldn’t (either directly or indirectly).

As with everything there’s a grey area - at what point does a woman and the child she is carrying become distinct from each other? At what point does that unborn child acquire its own protected legal status?

But it sits incredibly uncomfortably with me for women to be denied the legal right to do what they need to do with their bodies.

Some women need to have abortions. They should be supported, not harassed and demonised for that need.

[PinguForPresident]

What a judgemental post, OP. You're so blinkered by your own moral outrage that you can't see clearly on these issues.

The only person that gets to choose what happens to a woman's body is THAT WOMAN. It can be bloody easy to get pregnant - not for all of us, I struggled myself - a lot of women can have one contraceptive mishap, or use their contraception absolutely perfectly and still be let down by it.

I'm a midwife. While I was training I did some work in an abortion clinic. Abortion is healthcare, just as much as maternity services are - I knew that working thier there asd I was much "with woman" as I am on labour ward. I was meeting that woman's needs and facilitating her autonomy over her own body.

The majority of women I saw were women in relationships, who knew for whatever reason that they weren't in the right place to have a baby. Many were older women who already had children, knew they couldn;t cope with another, or who had mistaken their late period for peri-menopause. There were a few having on their 2nd or 3rd termination, but they were a small minority. Abortion as a lifestyle choice? Not for the vast majority, in my experience (which is rather more comprehensive than most)

[thethethethethe]

I think posters are being unfair on the OP. I am pro choice, but I understand your concerns. I think we need better sex education for both boys and girls.

[PinguForPresident]

Apologies for my multiple typos there. New keyboard!

[mollysshadow]

'Only 3% of abortions are due to rape' - that would be reported rape ? Not the vast vast majority where the victim is too scared or traumatised to report ? Or the ones who try to tell but aren't believed ? Or the ones who are abused or bullied into thinking they are to blame ?
Reported rape is the tip of a very large iceberg.

[Frogarmy]

I don't understand OP's comparison. So you're basically saying that because some people have fertility issues, we should make access to abortion more difficult?

It doesn't even make sense.

I 100% value the fact that I finally got pregnant ( after 8 long years of trying + IVF etc)

Does it make me want to punish people who have got pg easily and who don't want a child. Nope. Because that is insane.

No woman should be made to carry an unwanted child. No child should be unwanted. No woman should be made to feel ashamed - or be made to "jump through hoops" to access abortion.

She should have access to supportive advice and feel free to make a decision without prejudice.

I am beyond fucking amazed that any woman could be so bloody unsupportive to other women.

[TheRedBarrows]

YABVU.
The situation in Alabama is nothing like N.I. No one is proposing life imprisonments for driving someone to have a ToP in NI.
And so what: the plight of women in both Alabama and NI isn’t lessened just because of what it is like somewhere else. We can be alarmed by what is happening to women wherever it is.
You buy into a belief that some women ‘deserve’ an abortion and others don’t. (rape / incest / age) but if it is the foetus you (or lawmakers) care about why is the circumstance important? If it is the woman you care about, why are some women forced to have a child grow in their body against their wish / will ?
It is about control of women. When the penalty for termination is more severe than for the crime (rape / underage / incest etc) that caused the pregnancy then you know it is about control of women and viewing women as vessels. Very like Handmaids. A deep deep contempt for women.

It IS a crisis for an individual woman if she has a pregnancy in her body that she does not want, with any fibre of her being. If you have never been unwillingly pregnant or cannot comprehend that a woman feels very different about a wanted v unwanted pregnancy then you are arguing from a weak, narrow-minded perspective.

[Sagradafamiliar]

Klen: It's not a men against women issue. Women voted.

Yes it is. It's a deep-rooted hatred of women, plain as day misogyny. Women can be misogynistic too, thanks to being socialised that way.