To be annoyed by anti-Alabama posts?

[Bere111]

For context, I’m not prolife or pro choice...i wouldn’t have an abortion myself but I know that largely because I’ve never been in those desperate circumstances, so equally would never judge someone who had.
But all the anti-Alabama posts I’ve seen this week by women in the UK I find pretty ill informed.
For example, most not knowing it is still banned in Northern Ireland- part of the UK.
Also, people saying it’s ‘healthcare’ - I don’t believe this is true. I think it should be a crisis service, and making it sound routine trivialises it for me.
People saying it’s a women choice...again I don’t really think this is right. It’s a women choice to get pregnant or not get pregnant of course, but unless that girl or women fell pregnant through no choice of their own (in which can of course she should have access to abortion) I’m not sure once she’s actually pregnant she should then just be free to opt in or opt out.
I fell pregnant by accident with ds1, I was very newly married, had a well paid job and owned a house but was younger then I’d planned to be (27)- yet I had 3 people ask ‘god, what are you going to do???’ Which I found bizarre.
Most people’s opinion of abortion (including mine!) is formed on the fact that for those that are victims of rape or incest, or the health of the mother or baby is in question, or for example the mother is under 18 or even under 21, the time they need to have a safe solution to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
However, I know that only about 3% of abortion happen for the reason above. The rest the nhs classify as lifestyle factors.
I’m sure many women may be masking issues by telling the motivating reason for the termination is just a lifestyle factor, but even so I still think many, many abortion take place because of poor planning and poor timing.
I’ve had 2 close friends have terminations in our late 20s, both of which went on to have children with the same partner a few years later. Although I supported their choice, I didn’t really understand it. They were both preoccupied with the idea that the timing wasn’t right- even though they wanted children and wanted children with the current partners.
I think we put far to much pressure of ourselves that we have to do things in the right order- so then when a pregnancy comes along that wasn’t on the timeline, we freak out- even if we are perfectly capable of parenting at that time.
I also think something most be going wrong with how we are approaching contraception, especially as the fastest growing segment of women needing abortion are 30+ and have ahead previous abortions. Can women not access contraception easily or could giving more education around ovulation cycles help this (this is pretty common place in countries like Germany from secondary school age, and women generally avoid sex when they’re ovulating- even when using another form of contraception)
I guess all in all I think it’s a really complex matter- and I don’t think we have it totally right in this country, and I find it a trivialisation to see my friends sharing handmaid tale’s pictures with ‘my body my choice’ tag lines...surely when a matter really is life or death, we shouldn’t simplify it as a women’s prerogative?
Or AIBU?

[Sagradafamiliar]

What do you find upsetting about the Gilead posts? Do you see no parallel? In this whole scenario, it's Gilead references you find upsetting?

[AnyFucker]

Controlling what women are allowed to do with their bodies is very "Gilead"

[MorrisZapp]

Banning abortion isn't very nice but don't mention Gilead because it's really upsetting?

Eh whit now?

[PCohle]

YABU.

Also, people saying it’s ‘healthcare’ - I don’t believe this is true. I think it should be a crisis service, and making it sound routine trivialises it for me.

Lots of "healthcare" is a crisis service rather than being routine - the whole of A&E for example. It's still healthcare. What about abortion where the mother's health or life is at risk?

unless that girl or women fell pregnant through no choice of their own (in which can of course she should have access to abortion)

That isn't the case under Alabama's new law so shouldn't you be joining in those protesting it?

Can women not access contraception easily or could giving more education around ovulation cycles help this

Not in Alabama they can't, no. Are you going to do something to help, like make a donation to Planned Parenthood, or are you just going to criticise them from afar for wanting abortions without doing anything at all to help programmes that might reduce the rates of unwanted pregnancies?

I know that only about 3% of abortion happen for the reason above.

What's your source for that statistic?

[Handmaid2019]

YABVU

[ChessIsASport]

YABU.

[QueenoftheBiscuitTin]

It's really none of your business what another woman chooses to do with her body. Women don't need to justify having an abortion to you.

[NoBaggyPants]

Is contraception freely available in Alabama?

Only if your healthcare plan covers it, and then there's usually an excess to pay. Many people no longer get coverage for contraception due to changes in healthcare provision law.

Note that also this week the President revoked an order that granted women certain protections in the workplace.

What is upsetting about comparing the erosion of women's rights to Gilead? Why should people not be up in arms when the penalty for abortion is greater than the penalty for rape?

[MissB83]

Have a look at the consequences of illegal and unregulated abortions and then go away and have a word with yourself.

Desperate women and girls who don't want to be pregnant will always seek an abortion and sometimes it may cost them their life.

So the question is not whether to prevent abortions but whether to prevent safe and legal abortions. And of course the answer to that is no.

YABVU.

[ispepsiok]

You're a sanctimonious twat tbh.

Don't want an abortion, don't have one. Don't use your privileged lifestyle to tell other women what they can do with their bodies.

[SayNoToCarrots]

surely when a matter really is life or death
Are you referring to the fact that 830 women die every day from pregnancy or childbirth related causes?

[tldr]

Are you going to provide a home for some of the unwanted children?

[Redglitter]

I saw a post by an American acquaintance of mine & I was quite shocked at her views and that of her friends. According to them abortion is always unacceptable. The worst comment was that rape victims should ask for the morning after pill when they seek medical attention after the attack. There was no compassion for any woman who was perhaps traumatised or scared to report it.

[Piggywaspushed]

My BIL and his family live in Alabama : you have absolutely no idea at all how rabid and anti-women the anti abortionists are in that state. It is horrifying. I have had to routinely block his posts on Facebook.

[agentdaisy]

Posted too soon.

We have no space for another child, nor can we afford one as we're struggling to stay afloat as it is.

Not everyone who has a contraception failure is in as fortunate a position as you were. For pretty much everyone I know, us included, owing their own home is about as likely as finding a real unicorn, as is finding a job that isn't minimum wage on zero hours contract.

If a woman wants an abortion, for whatever reason, she should be able to legally and safely have one in her local area.

[noseoftralee]

Tell Savita Halapanavar that a timely abortion isn’t ‘healthcare’.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

YABU and extremely judgemental. Judge not until you have walked in someone elses shoes, and all that. I wonder what you hope to achieve by this?

[JustMe81]

YABU. Why a woman chooses to have an abortion is absolutely none of your business. It’s nice to sit in a position and be able to state that you would never have one, unfortunately not everyone is in that position.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

And you can be annoyed all you like. No one made you the Morality Queen

[EustaciaPieface]

YANBU. It’s not a complex matter. You’re being very judgemental.

[Bere111]

First of all, I’d say to call me judgemental is unfair - I wouldn’t express this outside of the platform of mumsnet because I wouldn’t my friends to think I’m casting judgement on decision they’ve made or may need to make.
Also, I’m not from a privileged bubble st all- I grew up as one of 7 children on a council estate, many of the girls I grew up had teenage pregnancy- abortion wasn’t a consideration simply because it was the norm.
I’ve never made reference to contraception all being non the side of the women either, but if we saying my body - my choice, can we not also choose who we have sex with and what contraception is used?
The references to Gilead I think are troubling because the handmaids are routinely raped and held prisons to be used as contraceptive vessel. We know the vast majority of women accessing abortion aren’t victims of rape but victims of circumstances. As I said, friends I’ve known that have had abortions were both in happy relationships.

[RattyTat]

Forcing women to carry a pregnancy against their will is just as terrible as rape.