Neighbor does not greet or talk to me - WWYD?

[Flyingfish2019]

I live in a rural neighborhood. Most people are quite friendly.

One of our neighbors is a man in his forties. Like us he likes to ride and like us he has dogs. I often meet him while riding or while walking the dogs, our dogs like his but he seems to have a deep dislike of them. I have no idea why.

I always greet and say something like “nice weather today, isn’t it?“ him but he never gives an answer. In fact he acts as if he didn’t even notice me.

Actually he talked to me only once and it was to tell me that one of our sons needed to wear his cap. It was winter... and yes, he was right, but our son didn’t like wearing his cap and had taken it off without me noticing...

I never discussed him with the other neighbors. I do not want to be a gossip.

I wonder if I should ask him why he doesn’t talk to me. I mean I do not want to be his friend and actually even avoid some places because I know he likes to walk his dogs there. I just think it would be polite if he said something like “Yes, very nice weather but I think it might rain tomorrow“ when we meet.

He sounds ignorant

Because he doesn't fit into the accepted mould? Maybe he's a very private person, maybe he's posting on another site about the irritating woman next door.

When I walk my dogs I wear dark glasses and earphones ( nothing playing though!) so people like the OP will leave me alone.

I don't want to engage in meaningless drivel about the weather with strangers even if I live close to them and I''m afraid I'd ignore the OP too.

but this gentleman is new to the place... meaning he moved here years ago but is none of the families who lived here for generations.

This made me laugh. New incomer wife complaining incomer neighbour hasn't been around for long

our dogs like his but he seems to have a deep dislike of them. I have no idea why.

and our dogs always want to play with his. I have to hold them back

andhereis the answer

The dogs are chihuahuas. This breed is just a bit spirited but they are trained (apart from one puppy we have... but all other people just love her)

You have yippee handbag dogs where as I would guess he has proper working dogs and you have jumpy uppy not trained puppy.

Ignorant means uneducated.

I'm not sure how you could infer that from this man's behaviour.

He may have moved to the countryside to get some peace, silence and solitude.

Don’t go ruining any of that with meaningless chattering and barking chihuahuas

Op there is nothing wrong with you, you sound perfectly nice. Unlike half the miserable bastards on this thread.
Stop worrying about him, just be polite and carry on being yourself.

I would give up and avoid eye contact. And sort out the dogs situation.

For someone you want to avoid,not have any personal contact with or conversation why do you even care.
Just stop giving a fuck, it will change your life

Dear MN: after a hard working life, bereavements, mental illness, being an
introvert, recovering from a serious illness and reevaluating my life, any number of issues, delete as appropriate, I took solace in the fact that I live in a sparsely populated area where I can at least keep myself to myself. I’m not ignorant or weird, I’m just not sociable for private reasons. thankfully , most people in the area are familiar with my ways, seem to understand and leave me to myself.

Recently, a woman with a number of yapping chihuahuas has moved nearby. She won’t leave me alone. It seems that each time I step outside, there she is, wanting to make small talk about the weather, whatever. She’s relentless. I feel like I can’t get away from her. Help, what do I do?

She sounds normal and he doesn’t. Even on this thread there are recurring themes of Autism; Mental health issues, which while common enough are acknowledged by those writing as being problematic.

Get to fuck, with that attitude. Who are you to say what others consider ‘normal’? How is the OPs total obsession with wanting her to speak to him, any more ‘normal’, than the list that you’ve given?

Why not leave him alone, sounds very attention-seeking on your part. I chat to neighbours but, guess what most of the time, it's really boring and often it's annoying as I'm on my way somewhere or tired because I'm getting back from somewhere. I'm sure they're all lovely but just because we live near each other doesn't mean we have anything in common. I envy the guy wish I had the courage to just ignore people.

He probably has mild Aspergers which so many people have and don't even realise.

I behave a bit like this man with one of my neighbours. I say hello and move quickly on. No answering questions, no chitchat. It is because when I have answered him, then it quickly turns into intrusive questions about my private life. This guy may be fearing the same with you. Not saying that you would do that, but he doesn't know that and may not be willing to take the chance.

Also, I have a large-ish dog and I would never let my dog play with yours. I wouldn't even let him go over and sniff. Not because I hate your dogs, but because he is large and could hurt them very easily. I wouldn't want to chance it.

So in conclusion, I don´t think he is rude, he is just different from you. Leave him alone. Say hi and walk on. No questions, no dogs stopping up to greet.

Some people have had problem neighbours previously and prefer not to get involved in any way. Once bitten twice shy.

Leave the poor man alone. He doesn’t want to talk to you!!

Autistic here, hard enough to get the courage up to leave the house to walk my dog, for fear of bumping into someone who wants to talk to me. Someone approaching sends my anxiety through the roof, rehearsing over and over when to look at them, whether to smile, what to say.
Please respect his boundaries

I do the same as this gentlemen, I also can’t make eye contact with someone in close proximity, even if they’re directly asking me a question. I’m autistic

I don’t think there’s anything abnormal about wanting to chat or wanting to avoid chat. You seem like a such a nice, welcoming person OP. Just a quick “hi” and a smile is more than enough, I’m sure you’ve done nothing wrong at all

I worry if people think I’m mad at them all the time and sometimes I force myself to interact but it’s very difficult

For the PP who said it’s not “normal”, being autistic/shy/having mental health problems/being private is completely normal

I can see why he doesn't like you OP.

I think it's your dogs.

I'm v sociable and chatty. If I constantly met a neighbour with dogs that were wild (which is never as cute to other people as their owner finds it) I'd tense up as I'd want them to keep well away from mine. If you seemed not to take this seriously, Eventually, I'd probably dread bumping into you.

@BlueSkiesLies

Unfortunately MIA12, you sound ignorant. Ignorant of the meaning of and correct usage of the word ignorant.

He is ignorant about social norms, such as a simple hello when passing a neighbour. It seems you are too which explains the tone and rudeness of your post.

Social norms are just norms. Not the law. It's not the current social norm to wear a hat (unless weather related), but I wouldn't call someone who did "ignorant".

I'd take 'nice weather today, isn't it?' as being a rhetorical question. A nod or a hello I'd reciprocate, but not necessarily instigate a conversation. Have you ever asked him if your dogs are ok to approach his? My (rescue) dog is very reactive and some owners have tried to approach us without realising and I've had to be a little standoffish to avoid a meltodown on my dog's part and their's getting scared. I don't really see why his behaviour would warrant gossiping with other neighbours?

Just ignore.

Elderly man next door and his daughter, who virtually lives there, mDe it clear from the start that she is not my neighbour. She has turned her head away when I've turned to say good morning to her and it's got to a point where I could barely contain my laughter when she got on a bus with the only available seat next to me.

More seriously, our walls are thick but not that thick and she's a foul mouthed cowbag, tbh. Some people are not worth your breath.