Neighbor does not greet or talk to me - WWYD?

[Flyingfish2019]

I live in a rural neighborhood. Most people are quite friendly.

One of our neighbors is a man in his forties. Like us he likes to ride and like us he has dogs. I often meet him while riding or while walking the dogs, our dogs like his but he seems to have a deep dislike of them. I have no idea why.

I always greet and say something like “nice weather today, isn’t it?“ him but he never gives an answer. In fact he acts as if he didn’t even notice me.

Actually he talked to me only once and it was to tell me that one of our sons needed to wear his cap. It was winter... and yes, he was right, but our son didn’t like wearing his cap and had taken it off without me noticing...

I never discussed him with the other neighbors. I do not want to be a gossip.

I wonder if I should ask him why he doesn’t talk to me. I mean I do not want to be his friend and actually even avoid some places because I know he likes to walk his dogs there. I just think it would be polite if he said something like “Yes, very nice weather but I think it might rain tomorrow“ when we meet.

There are approx 700,000 people in tne uk with autism. That's more than 1 in every 100 people . This fact was taken from the national autistic society website this year. In my son's year group of 55 children there are 3 with autism that I know of. It's not rare. In your street there is likely to be several people at least on the spectrum somewhere. All of them will display autism differently and many display behaviours like your have described. My own child does from tne communication to needing to dress in a specific way. Many adults are living with undiagnosed autism. When you have met one person with autism you have met one person with autism. Just like everyone else they are all different. It's not rare, it's not unusual and you will know people with it even if you havent realised.

OP how long have you lived in the area?

I only ask because I was bought up in a very rural area but my parents were new comers. Some of the locals barely spoke to them for years then became quite friendly later on. Indeed my mum was utterly ignored by one local family until she had been there for 20 years almost to the day .. when they popped round with a cake and said how lovely it was she was now a "proper local "

Mums been there over 40 years now and the locals are all friendly...

If however you were born and bred in the area I think your neighbour's just not keen on chatting

It is only because... you know... I have not much self-esteem. I am younger than him, had my children early

If your self esteem is such a problem that you obsess about someone avoiding you I think you would hugely benefit with some therapy.*

All I ever do to him is say “hello“ if I run into him and maybe say something about the weather
Stop doing that. He is clear that he doesn't want to talk to you so don't say hello either. I feel that you are harrassing him tbh. If you were a man who keeps talking to a woman that ignores him I would have been scared for her safety. You are the weird one here in my opinion.

You aren't being polite or respectful because he has made it quite clear he doesn't want to interact with you and you keep forcing the issue!
Stop saying hello to trying to chat about the weather. He has given no indication that he wants to chat to you.

You don't need to start to walk the opposite way when you see him, just walk past him and don't speak.

You don't have to speak to everyone you see! And I don't actually think he is autistic or has Aspergers, he just chooses not to speak to people when out and about. That's fine, he is allowed, it's his choice

I haven't RTFT but could he be dead?

Deaf!

Even if he sees you are talking to him he might not want to talk. Conversation with someone you don't know well when deaf is awkward and tiring.

Best typo in a while 😂

Some of the comments on here are horrible, he had his reasons and they aren't any of the ops business and certainly not ours.

“Low self esteem” and yet doggedly resistant to the notion that you might be doing something wrong?

You have self esteem issues. That's understandable. But other people won't know or understand this just by looking at you. The same applies to this man, you have no idea if there's anything going on with him. Autism is often described as an invisible disability for this reason, you carnt tell they have it just by looking. You are expecting people on here to understand your issues, maybe try applying that yourself to this man. As for thinking he is judging you, what do you think you are doing to him? Think about that.

The autism rate in America is 1 in 59
So it's not that unlikely.

Dead!!! . That would explain the lack of interaction. Is this Actually the Sixth Sense?

Whether or not he has autism you seem massively over invested in someone you claim not to like. Yes most people would reply to your pleasantries but for whatever reason this man doesn't want to. Instead of forcing him to comply with your expectations why not just leave the poor man alone.

Exactly floating

You're being incredibly needy and desperate for two words from a person who doesn't like you. Move on.

You’re seriously overthinking this OP.

I don’t know why this man doesn’t want to interact with you, but chances are whatever it is, it’s about him and his own personal issues. Not you.
Most people are too busy thinking about their own life to devote much headspace to judging neighbours that they occasionally bump into while walking their dog.

And pp have a point about you dismissing the possibility of autism etc out of hand. You don’t know what’s going on inside his head. Maybe he is snobby. Or maybe he’s very anxious about social interactions and you’re mistakenly interpreting his nerves as him judging you. You can’t tell which it is. Just as a stranger wouldn’t be able to tell that your DH had PTSD from a chance encounter.

Oh God.

he could be me.

I am awful at small talk and find chatting to the neighbours excrutiating. If we both happen to be leaving the house at the same time I always die a little inside because I know I am going to have to chat. I always say the wrong thing and find it so hard.

Similar situation here. Unfortunately, as they are so unsociable,nwhen the gas people said they were about to turn the gas off, I literally had no contact number for them. I was terribly upset

Leave him be

Oh, HRTFT. It's possible there are other issues

He does not like you or your little rat-like dogs. Heck, I do not like you just from reading this thread. Get over yourself. Others are not on this earth to validate you. You are very self-obsessed and come across as deeply irritating.

at dead! That's a pretty good reason for not chatting.

My next door neighbour is exactly like this. She completely blanks me if we walk past each other in the street. If I say hello when we cross paths on the drive, she looks through me. She ignores my children when they try to make small talk (which is rarely.) We're not loud, we're tidy, the children don't run wild, we take our bins in promptly, we're helpful and polite. I have absolutely no idea what her issue is with us as she's very friendly with all the other neighbours. It's been two years, I've given up.

Just leave the poor man alone, he has no obligation to speak to you, and from the way you are going on and on about it I don't blame him. I would ignore you too. He owes you nothing, you don't have the right to make him speak to you.