Accent, class and feeling like a fish out of water

[fishoutofwine]

Have name changed as moan about this a irl and think combined with my other posts would put me.

However, in the last year have moved to a very “of money” up market area (sort of imagine Hampstead garden suburb but not).

I have found that thanks so my strong accent and penchant for wearing ordinary clothes seems to be setting me ok a back foot.

I know some of this may be my own insecurities however habe had issues such as - neighbour in gazillion pound house assuming that when I said no to her builders using my garden for a loo talking slowly and patiently to me like I’m an idiot, when walking my dog around the local area other dog walkers asking if I’ve come far (quite enjoy pointing and saying “no I live there” and just low lever snobbery.

While fully aware that this is to some degree a nice problem to have, it does make me feel like crap (and like moving back to my perfectly nice area I was before).

I guess it’s more wwyd and how can I deal with it.

[fishoutofwine]

On the accent thing - I’m from be area that I live in (went to school here).

[IcelandicYoghurt]

@CherryPavlova what's an inappropriate breed?

[villageshop]

@ fishoutofwine - you went to school in the area? Then they're the fish out of water, not you. You're just out of wine, so this is for you

[Ruralretreating]

I wish you lived in our area OP! We’re desperate for people to help with stuff like social media and publicity for charitable fundraising events in our village...I’m sure you’ll find your crowd or the others will warm up in time but don’t let it knock your confidence

[fishoutofwine]

@villageshop aw thank you!

[Happynow001]

I'm assuming all these idiots put their knickers on one leg at a time, don't have a valet/maid to dress them each day and have to use the loo like the rest of us. Just ignore them OP and don't let their over-inflated sense if self affect you! 🌹

[Treesthemovie]

Move out of posh area if you don't want to be judged by posh people

[HazelNutinEveryBite]

Just be yourself OP.

The English are funny about accents. Those up North think every south eastern accent is posh, even if the person clearly isn't. Those down south often look down on northern accents, even if the person is extremely well educated compared to themselves. West country accent indicates a country bumpkin to everyone, but many are not.

An Irish, Welsh or a Scottish accent is harder for the English to categorise, so many err on the side of caution and assume that the person is a bumpkin anyway.

In Northern Ireland there are culchies from the country who speak differently to folks from the city. County Down accents are often cultivated to mimic the Anglo Irish. No one from outside the province would necessarily pick up on this. It is probably similar in Scotland and Wales.

Geordies tend to sound like Geordies, so everyone assumes they are all working class with family who went on the Jarrow marches.

[madcatladyforever]

Be yourself and be confident. You don't need to change or compete.

[FoldyRoll]

Just be yourself, fish. They've already shown themselves up as not the superior beings they believe they are by being so rude and presumptuous. I'd be inclined to give them what they want by sticking an old sofa, car engine and a dog on a string in your garden.

[Tavannach]

Make friends with the aristo bag ladies. They'll be more interesting anyway.

[BritWifeinUSA]

I have the same here. Not a day goes by when someone doesn’t comment on my accent. Or they try to mimic it, which is even worse. I politely ask them if they would mimic my accent if I were Chinese. Or I look all puzzled at them and say I can’t understand them. The worst is when people question whether I’m here legally...

[DinkyTie]

Do you really run a successful agency? 🧐

[UnicornBrexit]

Surely if you wanted to fit in with 'rich' people you'd adopt a Russian accent ?

[PissOffPeppa]

I get it. I’m going through something similar at the moment. It’s amazing how much it knocks your confidence isn’t it? I’m generally quite self-assured so it’s caught me by surprise.

[FiveShelties]

Britwife - drives me insane when people mimic my accent. Oh yes, very funny, no-one has ever done that before!

[ohiseeyou]

OP everyone else is going to be too polite to tell you this, but the problem isnt your accent, its that your grammar and mode of speaking is horrendous and I'm guessing this comes through in your speech.

Let me quote the opening two sentences of your post:

"Have name changed as moan about this a irl and think combined with my other posts would put me. However, in the last year have moved to a very “of money” up market area (sort of imagine Hampstead garden suburb but not)."

There are at least 12 grammatical errors in these two sentences alone. It might sound snobby, but to people who have been educated how to speak/write well, reading your post is honestly like chalk being dragged up a blackboard. I would personally make an excuse and walk away from you within a few minutes if you speak anything like how you write, even before taking the liverpool accent into account (which is hardly the most pleasant accent, even at the best times).

Your best option at this stage is probably to take remedial grammar lessons, and possibly elocution lessons (and yes, I am aware that there is probably at least one grammatical error in my current post, and digging through to find it doesnt change the fact that the OP is far, far below average).

[Tavannach]

There are at least 12 grammatical errors in these two sentences alone. It might sound snobby, but to people who have been educated how to speak/write well, reading your post is honestly like chalk being dragged up a blackboard. I would personally make an excuse and walk away from you within a few minutes if you speak anything like how you write, even before taking the liverpool accent into account (which is hardly the most pleasant accent, even at the best times).

Your best option at this stage is probably to take remedial grammar lessons, and possibly elocution lessons (and yes, I am aware that there is probably at least one grammatical error in my current post, and digging through to find it doesnt change the fact that the OP is far, far below average).

Holy Cow! That's just so totally rude and ridiculous.
Are you one of the snooty neighbours?

[Mothership4two]

Be yourself. To try to change for people who don't really matter to you - that way madness lies!

You might not have been listened to at the meeting because you are new and don't have a track record with them. Low level snobbery is their problem not yours. It's obviously an affluent area and I guess would have a lot of dog walkers, so maybe not too surprising that you might be one.

[Mothership4two]

Talking to you slowly like you are an idiot - not acceptable

[Mothership4two]

As is telling you to take remedial grammar lessons and elocution lessons

Wow!

[Trebla]

Your tribe will be there somewhere. Be yourself else they won't be able to find you. Settling in is hard. It says more about them than you. If they make you feel bad, they are not your people. Keep putting yourself out there confidently. And laugh. You have every right to live there too.

[Trebla]

@ohiseeyou

I actually feel for you as you will be missing out on so many rich relationships by being so defined in your mindset about others.

I have fat thumbs often make typos and quite frankly speak like a commoner. I own it. It's my point of difference. Life is too short to attach shame or have shame bestowed upon you for the way in which you communicate. A mismatch in values is much more offputting for me.

I speak for a living. Run a successful business and have a PhD. You'd miss out on a great friend if you met me and judged me by those shallow standards.

@fishoutofwine stick with it, your tribe are out there.....

[FiveShelties]

@ohiseeyou - very good, I almost thought you were being serious, but then I thought no-one could have such narrow minded views.

[MaybeitsMaybelline]

Just because the post is full of grammatical errors means nothing. Mine are frequently, but I use a stupid iPad that changes even correct words to mumbo jumbo and am usually on MN without my glasses.

Means bugger all (said in Yorkshire accent).