Getting old is harder for attractive people

[SignedUpJust4This]

My sister is really struggling with accepting the aging process. She is approaching 50 and it's all she talks about. I am a bit younger but couldn't care less.

I am trying to work out if this is simply because I'm younger or if it's because she was always the good looking one. I am not worried about losing my looks as such because I never had any in the first place. Is aging harder to accept when you were previous a looker? Interested to hear other people's experiences.

I wish i had appreciated my figure and beauty more when i was younger. I wouldn't have said i was gorgeous but i was pretty & had no shortage of male attention. But i was chronically shy as well.

Now in my late 30s i still consider myself to be pretty when i make the effort, but I've looked after my skin and wrinkles are not visible yet. In fact just on thursday i had a man whome i was talking to at a support group for carers say he thought i was in my mid 20s. However, i do have a fair amount of grey hair, and my hair is just horrible. Plus 3 kids in 4 years has done nothing for my figure and i do find myself worrying more about getting fat than i do about getting old. I'm about 3 stone heavier than i was in my 20s.

That said, I'm happily married, have 3 lovely children, am dealing with health issues whilst still trying to stay active and have an amazing friendship circle that i didnt have in my 20s so i do feel truly blessed......i just make sure i moisturise

Women are made to feel bad about their looks whatever their age.
Teenager- cover those spots! Tits growing too fast/ not fast enough.
In your 20s? Fake tan, nails, hair and boobs are de regeur. Plus you must have a yoga body.
30s/ mum stage? Why havn't you lost your pregnancy weight?
40s/ 50s....menopausal ....if you make an effort you are mutton.
60s /70s adopt a granny perm and embrace thoae cardigans.
And at all ages be a size 10 or less.

Its mostly bollocks tbh. I see georgeous girls in their 20s and plain girls in their 20s. Likewise i see amazing looking 60 year olds and not so amazing.
As long as we keep spending money to make ourselves look good enough for the male gaze, Lo'real etc are happy.

Or is it L'oreal?

I am not sure if I am delusional but I still feel attractive at 45. I still notice men looking at me and I still get compliments regularly from both men and women on my appearance. I haven’t really noticed it being very different than it was in my 20s apart from the age of the men giving me the eye has gone up! I am not vain, don’t do a lot of grooming and am not too worried about ageing but maybe it hasn’t hit me yet.

mummadeeze

I am not vain, don’t do a lot of grooming and am not too worried about ageing but maybe it hasn’t hit me yet.”

That’s exactly why people still find you attractive. Older people who try too hard are very offputting, smacks of self-absorption.

Younger people try too hard too...see my above comments about fake hair, nails tan etc...

Malificent7

I stand corrected, you’re absolutely right.
(Though fake nails and lashes look all the more ludicrous the older the wearer).

I don’t trust anyone who works that hard on their appearance 😁 that’s why I’m very dubious of Kier Starmer (spelling?). Any man of his age in his position of responsibility has no business spending that much time mucking about with hair gel.

I was always slim and pretty. Now I’m older and am neither slim nor pretty, but I couldn’t give a fuck.

My priorities are being a good mum, building a business and being healthy through eating well and exercising.

Not.

You are not your age,
Nor the size of clothes you wear,
You are not a weight,
Or the colour of your hair.
You are not your name,
Or the dimples in your cheeks,
You are all the books you read,
And all the words you speak,
You are your croaky morning voice,
And the smiles you try to hide,
You’re the sweetness in your laughter,
And every tear you’ve cried,
You’re the songs you sing so loudly,
When you know you’re all alone,
You’re the places that you’ve been to,
And the one that you call home,
You’re the things that you believe in,
And the people that you love,
You’re the photos in your bedroom,
And the future you dream of,
You’re made of so much beauty,
But it seems that you forgot,
When you decided that you were defined,
By all the things you’re not.

Erin Hanson

Its that mismatch between brain and looks. Inside I still feel young but that thoughts soon quashed when I look in the mirror and see my nan staring back.

I look in the mirror and see my nan staring back

Women really are their own worst enemies. We sabotage ourselves.

Older people who try too hard are very offputting, smacks of self-absorption.

Totally agree with this. I find the "trying too hard" look really, really off-putting, makes me wonder why they're so obsessed with their looks.

Re. Botox. As PP's have said, you can always tell, imo. I know a couple of people who use it and it does something odd to their faces. They don't look young really, just frozen! But, they like what they see in the mirror and it's their money, so their choice.

A good skin care routine, drinking lots of water and keeping out of the sun are my preferences although I don't always do them.

@toucantoo
Why are people so damning about good looks

I don't think people are damning about good looks. They're damning about the belief that good looks are hugely important. It is the belief (and obsession) that get criticised.

They are also maybe damning of the notion that there is a universal standard of what good-looking is. A lot of what passes for good looks (in some circles) is a lot of artifice which isn't inherently attractive.

@malificent7

Wise words!

Of course it’s harder if you were attractive when young- it’s got nothing to do with what else one has in one’s life- I am lucky to have an adoring husband, children and privileged life but it was still a fucking shock to see my looks go at 50.

Had a minor facelift which helped and I don’t look younger or stretched, just well. I used to laugh at people like me.

My DM was dead before she was 50.

She/we would have taken any number of grey hairs and lines and everything else that is perceived as getting older/unattractive to have her still here.

Getting older is a privilege that is not afforded to everyone. Your DS needs to think about that, OP! There’s a happy medium between taking care of yourself and doing what makes you happy and forgetting what’s truly important.

ThePrioryGhost very, very true. Sorry for you loss

Priory Ghost that is exactly what I tell her. If I ever catch myself fretting about grey hairs I honk about all the people I know who died too young. They never had the privilege of seeing their children grow up. And it is a privilege we often take for granted.

Makes no difference to my sis tho. Every week she's talking about a different procedure she might have! 🙄

Very sorry for your loss.

*think! Not honk!

Meh, I’m 54. The bloom has gone for sure. I just wish the five o’clock shadow would fuck off.

I didn’t appreciate how effortless it was to be fresh and lovely when I was youn.

This thread is misogynistic bingo. Attacking women who care about what they look like, attacking older women who want to stay attractive by spending their own hard earned cash how they choose, and attacking women who are considered attractive.

My abusive ex would agree
Yes women over 50 should just crawl away and be great full they're not dead yet

My mother was beautiful losing her looks and power to attract the opposite sex brought out the worst in her. Especially as her averagely attractive daughter but with the bloom of youth I suffered a lot. I Never really got over that.

shitpark

I think men who are 60 but try to look 40 are dubious too.

Think you missed my point shitpark. I am of the same viewpoint as you. However my sister isn't and I actually worry about her mental health as aging seems to bother her so much. I'm trying to work out why it bothers her more than me. She will frequently phone me up in tears about the way she looks.

You are right about the blatant agism. And I do believe women should do whatever they like with their bodies. Doesn't bother me a bit what they wear or do to their faces.