Getting old is harder for attractive people

[SignedUpJust4This]

My sister is really struggling with accepting the aging process. She is approaching 50 and it's all she talks about. I am a bit younger but couldn't care less.

I am trying to work out if this is simply because I'm younger or if it's because she was always the good looking one. I am not worried about losing my looks as such because I never had any in the first place. Is aging harder to accept when you were previous a looker? Interested to hear other people's experiences.

Langrish
I see you're an equal opportunities ageist
So since I've already made it past 50 and still holding on to my looks, I guess I'd better get my shroud ready in case I get to 60 and still look like this.
Lots of us look good without procedures by the way, and with minimal effort.

And good for you, shitpark.

But if looking good were the most important thing to you, to the extent that natural changes made you miserable, that would be sad, don’t you think? There’s so much more to life.

Thanks to PPs for the kind thoughts.

I agree OP. No matter how much people say looks don't matter they do for both men and woman. Studies in the workforce show that attractive people get promoted and earn more money than their average peers. You rely on looks whether you want to or not.

Being young and ugly isn't that easy either, so.... isn't this just things evening out?

Being young and ugly was really shit Nauseous. So I suppose you are right 😩

If people are worried about aging gracefully they have issues.
To be that bothered is sad and apart from being shallow it's a shame some people can't just be happy as they are.

How attractive I look, my age, my general appearance seems to bother others more than it concerns me. Women who look me up and down and roll their eyes at me, some even reminding me that at my age I should be more concerned about the menopause. I'm one of those people that wakes up in the morning, wets my hair and I'm good to go. Yet, I have noticed that since hitting my late 40's, I'm expected to become someone who shops at the not good bits of M and S, and become matronly.
No matter what your age, as a woman, your body and face is never your own, everyone feels entitled to you

I’m 50 next year
Not too keen on the actual numeral but tbh I don’t care much. I was v good looking when I was young, and didn’t know it. My parents deliberately never complimented me.
Hey I still look good. I can look great if I make an effort
I look better than I did at 40, if not 30
Same weight etc.

I stopped drinking alcohol 3 weeks ago and look fresher (However long it lasts!)
I have 2 lovely kids, nice friends, a roof over my head & a good job. All of these things are WAY more important but I haven’t thrown the towel in yet. I exercise (a bit) I’m active, no major creaks/good health.
I’m bloody lucky 🍀
Btw, getting rid of my 11’s (botox) was a good move (for me) but I like any/all other lines. The 11s just made me look cross and tired and I don’t miss them.

Very true Shitpark

I'm not sure it's harder for women who were/are attractive.

I am going to be fifty next year and although I'm not vain and I know my worth is not my looks, it is an adjustment. For me the pertinent factor is not that I was attractive but that I am single. I feel there has been a fast forward head in it, smell the coffee realisation that I will be single as I age. I am ok with that but it is not what I thought my life would be.

I think married women are protected from the 'pity' and perceived lack of social capital, as part of how society values them is as one HALF of a couple. So single women are going to age without that conferred ''status''. Obviously this is a generalisation as your social capital depends on a lot of things, your youthfulness, attractiveness, vitality, wit intelligence personality, confidence, success, wealth, circle of friends, career, power.......... all sorts of things. You can love yourself and still obviously struggle with feeling unseen or ignored. That doesn't mean you're vain.

I don't understand why people think if you care about your looks it means you've "relied" on them. Like you can't possibly be attractive and intelligent and funny etc etc

My parents were always quick to point out that although my sister was more attractive I had the brains so I've always been more academic than her. I'm pretty sure my parents managed to fuck us both up with this one observation.

Same here. My sister is objectively better looking than me and I am objectively more academic than her. Neither of us benefitted from the comparison and the expectations that came with it.

While I am no beauty queen and she is no professor, I am not ugly and she is not thick, so no real need for saying anything.

I’m in my 50s, I have always been praised on my looks, I did get a lot of attention when I was younger and it used to make me feel quite anxious at times socially. ( Don’t mean this to sound big headed)
I still get told I look amazing and 10 years younger but it most definitely doesn’t define who I am. Do I want to keep looking good, yes - but for me it’s combined with being healthy. Looking good as you get older is connected to your lifestyle habits. I’m not really a drinker, a smoker, I exercise and am still a size 10. I feel better this way and its more important as we age to take care of our ourselves

Shitpark

“Lots of us look good without procedures by the way, and with minimal effort.”

Indeed, I am one of them at 55 and better than ever. How is it being ageist, thinking people who inject their faces with poison to eradicate wrinkles are very odd indeed? I would think the same of a 20 year old but thankfully not many of them do.

To the contrary, I believe going to ridiculous lengths to artificially change what nature has given you is the ultimate ageism.

There I was thinking I was invisible when 2 men openly levered at me lustily yesterday.. I looked down at my chest and realised they were looking at the splodges of gravy on my chest 😁🙄

Kazz😂 mmm gravy

Another one who - gasp! - is nearly 50!

I used to be quite attractive in my youth and like to think I still am, though I've no delusions that I'm as pretty as I used to be. I've always been told I look much younger than my age, but in the past 5 years or so I've noticed changes. I used to be that annoying person who could eat what she wanted and still fit into a size 8 but now, though I'm still reasonably slim, I definitely have to watch what I eat. I don't have many wrinkles but I have noticed a sagging jawline which is much worse as there's nothing you can do about it short of surgery!

Do I mind? If I'm being honest, yes I do. I never 'traded' on my looks or thought they were all I had to offer, but it's natural to mourn the gradual passing of something you once had. But I'll deal with it.

What stands out for me is how badly men age compared to women.
Going on OLD sites, most men over 40 look like a bag of shit as they don't take care of themselves and are fat and/or bald with ill advised facial hair.

Preach!

We're always told that men age like a fine vino, but actually most of them age like milk. I think a lot of it is down to the fact that women are trained to be terrified of ageing, so put a lot of work into maintaining their looks. If men did the same - not talking surgery, just some skincare, a decent haircut, paying attention to their weight - they could look OK too.

But so many don't feel it's something they need to do. And of course, many of the men in their 40s and 50s will be looking to date hotties half their age. Good luck with that one.

So true.

My OH has a nasty lurgy been ill since Saturday, nothing to eat for a couple of days, he thinks he will be slim and handsome when he recovers. Welllllllllllll.......... he will need to be ill for three months minumum, go in for a hair transplant, buy some hair dye, entertain a lot of plucking of facial excess hair including nose/ears and join a gym.

Losing your looks isn't as bad as losing your mojo.

You can avoid spending too long agonising in front of a mirror but if that inner lightness of spirit has dwindled away, you really can't escape the sensation and other people feel it subliminally too.

I'm not sure what the answer is, just that wrinkles might not be the real problem.

Out - you are right about the loss of spirit.

@ justasking111

Lol! I think Jurgen Klopp is a good example of an older man who's taken the trouble to look after himself. A couple of years ago he was looking ropey but a new set of gnashers (OK they are a bit glow in the dark but better than what he had before) and a hair transplant and now he's looking fine. It helps of course that he's tall and fit, but with a bit of attention and upkeep, most men could go on looking OK into their 50s, just as women do. But so many think that's beneath them.

I was bloody gorgeous when I was early 20s!!
Am not now!!!
It's nice to look back but it's not worth getting your knickers in a twist over.
Time for my dss to be gorgeous now!!
Dh was good looking too, we made a handsome pair.
Oh well!!

Outwiththeoutcrowd you have hit the nail on the head, it’s an awful feeling, I want mine back but feel it’s gone for good